My heart is broken into pieces


#1

I am heartbroken my beautiful son is in a mental health physicality, Monday he was acting strange and started to talk about the tv talking to him. Casey started to panic and was telling me I needed to give all my possession to charity. He was mumbling and I thought there was something terribly wrong with him, I just didn’t know what to do, called the police and I regret it so bad. He was in the hospital for two days they where testing him to see what was wrong with him the second day he was there they backer acted him for spitting at nurse. He was saying the strangest things at the hospital. What do I do my son was my little angel he had a 3.9 school average and was a varsity lacrosse player and I am beside myself. The doctors at the behavior physicality diagnosed him with phcyscosis and told me he had symptoms of schizophrenia. I am so upset, my husband and I are heartbroken. We do not have the schizophrenia gene in our family. We found out he was smoking marijuana, the doctors told us that this could be the reason for his behavior. I just do not know what to do. I love my son with all my heart


#2

First off, and I know this is difficult, but please don’t think your son is gone forever. I know your concerned for him. With early treatment, and early intervention and therapy many people recover from this and have a better prognosis then the movies and media portray.

Like I tell everyone who is our boat, please educate yourself on what SZ really is.

www.nami.org

www.schizophrenia.com

As far as psychosis; well, that could be many things. Until he’s officially diagnosed all the way, there are still many options to rule out. Plus it’s said that very quick onset has a much better prognosis then slow on set.

As far as what to do? Talk to mental health professionals in your area and know what resources are available to you. Please don’t be like some of my friends parents and never open up leaving their loved one to get worse and suffer more.

The faster you get professional intervention, the more chance your son has of getting out of this.

Please read the diagnosed forum. There are psych majors who have 4.00 grades while battling this illness. There are people who are computer programers and professionals who work and some have their own business while battling this illness.

My own brother lives in his own apartment, has a job with the city parks dist, is back in college while working and he takes his meds, and takes care of himself very well. Is very active, has a girlfriend, has an opportunity to start his own business, and is living a happy life, and is recovering quickly now that his meds are correct.

So learn what you can, talk to people and get as much help as you can.

Most off all, don’t give up hope or think that all is lost and this is the end and your son is gone forever. That is not the case anymore.

I’m sorry your family has to go through this. But the son you love isn’t gone. This is one major detour true, but it’s not the end of the road.

I hope the best for your and your family. There is a lot of information here and many people are happy to help and answer questions.


#3

deeply sorry you have to go through this…good advice written above…get as much knowledge as you can…there is “outside” help that you will beable to get…and also realize that this site has information and caring for you also…sending blessings to your family…big hugs


#4

It’s possible marijuana set him off but it’s very rare. i went to school with one boy who would flip out after he smoked it and he hit the gym teacher one time.
But symptoms usually subside after the effects are gone…so i don’t know.

Did they tell you some of the strange things he was saying at the hospital?
I’ve seen symptoms caused by medical conditions, spiritual influences, and external influences…trauma, technology, drugs or alcohol, etc.

It sounds like this just happened all of a sudden whereas none of this behavior ever happened before? Almost sounds like it could be drugs, and if so he should come out of it soon, hopefully. The other causes need treated over time, whether medically or spiritually…and it wouldn’t hurt praying for his healing irregardless of what caused it…


#5

I’m so sorry to hear about your son. But you have come to the right place.

I have been exactly where you are. About 5 years ago, my sweet, smart, funny son was struck one day with this terrible disease. He was working as a server while going to college, when one Saturday he came home from work very upset. Told me one of his customers turned into a devil right in front of his eyes. He was terrified and so was I, we just held each other crying.

My family does not have the sz gene either, so we didn’t know what was going on. Things went swiftly downhill from there. It was the worst time of our lives. I just couldn’t believe this was happening. Son smoked marijuana too and dabbled in other drugs.

My advice to you is to put on your warrior suit, totally educate yourself – read everything you can get your hands on, join NAMI and take their caregiver’s course (usually offered one day a week on Sundays, it lasts about 6 weeks if I remember right), buy and read the book “I am not sick, I don’t need help” by Xavier Amador PHD, empathize with what your son is seeing, believing, or hearing because it is real to him, find him the best psychiatrist you can - it took us a couple of years to finally get a great one, educate yourself on the meds - there are a lot of good ones that can really help your son – you can search on this website and also ask questions, there are a ton of caring people on this site (caregivers and diagnosed alike) who will gladly help you.

Most of all take care of yourself. It is easy to get overwhelmed and eaten up with sadness, but you have to keep up the battle. This is one of the toughest parts you are going through now, but know that even though there will be huge ups and downs, things can and will get better, even though at times you will feel as if they won’t.

Hang in there, positive thoughts coming your way. Please keep us posted on your sweet boy.


#6

I finally got to read that book last month. I’ve been on the library waiting list for ages. It’s a very good book. I’m buying my own copy now so I can reference it more often. This book has some great ideas for anyone in any stage of the journey.


#7

Hang in there. My family struggled greatly in the beginning of my illness, and about two years with living with this illness. I got a grip on reality. Do not give up hope, he could recover and be well.


#8

Thank you for all the support, we took Casey out of the physicality and he is a lot better. He is on haldol and is very loving at the moment, he has to take the exams he missed will be home for summer I will keep you posted on his condition


#9

So glad things are improving already! Good luck on this journey…


#10

I know this might sound stupid, but I was really excited about my diagnosis (schizoaffective. schizophrenia + depression)

My whole life I had been living in a cloud of depression and pre schizophrenic symptoms. I had several delusions, one of which was that no one loved me.
Consequently I shut my Mother almost completely out of my life.

In interests of fairness I have ausburgers indicators too (it’s on the autism scale. It mainly means social problems. I don’t have it full on). The first doctor I went to found the indicators and the depression in me. But nothing was done. He told my parents he didn’t think that I would ever be able to get married.

Later on I was diagnosed with schizophrenia as soon as the positive symptoms (in my case auditory hallucinations) started. I was put on medicine right away.

I couldn’t be happier.

The fog has lifted. I no longer think about killing myself every day. Am no longer convinced that everyone would be happier without me. I have about a 3.0 GPA in college and I have plans to start my own business with my fiancee of over three years. I can have my own thoughts now. The constant obsessive ideas that ran through my head and inhibited me from so much are gone now.

For the first time in my life.
I am happy.

They did what you did. They caught me right off. The second doctor (the first was just supposed to diagnose me, not treat me. Treatment was doctor #2’s job). Pretty much my first hallucination and they put me on an antipsycotic.

I talk to my Mother now. I tell her I love her and I now have the capacity to believe that she loves me too.
For me, life started with Abilify and Lexipro.


#11

You have come a long way and I know your mother is proud of you. My son has diagnosis schzo affective.he was a quarter away from graduating college .


#12

I usually don’t come over to this side of the fence, because I am a 32 year old male who was diagnosed at 24. I’m sure my family went through a lot during the initial points of this, it probably can be an emotionally exhaustive thing.

Medication is key, but sometimes it’s not everything. There’s a person still, dealing with the disorder, on the inside. The disorder can make it difficult to communicate or emotionally or even verbally connect, and so just know that your son will have an emotional life and can even have a full life, despite the setbacks of this disorder. It’s entirely possible. It requires adjusting because it’s a problem of the mind. It is a disorder that can be misleading for the person dealing with it. I try to ignore it myself, and I do well because I do my best to ignore it. Sometimes, like a cold or flu, you as a person with the disorder, just have to deal with the symptoms. You could probably imagine it to be a little like Tourrette’s, but on the inside.


#13

Hello Mysonismylife,

My son was also hospitalized for the first time yesterday.
Please do not feel alone. Or that SZ is a death sentence. It is not. If this is what he has (and you may need several opinions but it does sound like it to me) do not forget that SZ can be controlled with medication and it is one of the mental illnesses on the autistic rainbow that actually can respond very well to meds to the point of many living full balanced lives and learning to live with their inner voices.

When my son was diagnosed I found the book “Surviving Schizophrenia” by E. Fuller Torrey M.D
a life saver. It was like a light bulb lit my soul and I learned so much about how to approach this from it. Since then I have started reading books that track full recovery…always hopeful and helpful reading. Even here, if you read in the diagnosed sections I am amazed how well people do living with their voices. The early part is the hardest for everyone. Things WILL get better and more manageable and you WILL see your old son again. Maybe not constantly but in phases and those times will be precious and recharge your faith he can and you can battle this and manage it.
Much love and hugs to you, you are in shock and it will take some time to see through the fog. You are in a very supportive community here. <3


#14

Exactly. Just like with any long term illness physical or mental. The onset is full of questions, and what if’s, and why’s and hows. It’s all unclear and confusing for everyone involved.

You’re loved one is the most confused because nothing makes sense for a while, stuff that was easy just a few months ago seem beyond reach now. Communication, memory, motor skills even can take a hit. With meds and therapy, it can be managed and kicked down.

Good luck and like so many have already said… this is not the end, just a detour.


#15

Welcome to the forum Mysonismylife.

As kidsister says, your son is not gone forever. He may emerge a different person however that is not a bad thing. We all change as we grow and become new people based on our experiences.

Take some time to learn what you can about psychosis and schizophrenia. Read through the family section as well as diagnosed. I find the more I read the more I can try to understand. I would post links however my computer is in the shop, so I’m on my son’s old laptop and don’t have any of the links saved.

Getting your son into an early intervention program may make a big difference.
Early Psychosis Treatment center information in these two links
http://www.schizophrenia.com/earlypsychosis.htm
http://www.raiseetp.org/sites/

Searched some of my threads. These links may help:
http://www.leapinstitute.org/ - under resources are free videos on using LEAP
LEAP is a way of communicating to build trust. Listen-Empathize-Agree-Partner.
http://dramador.com/ - Dr. Xavier Amador is a clinical psychologist whose brother had schizophrenia. He is the founder of the LEAP Institute. Wrote the book: I’m Not Sick I Don’t Need Help! Can buy from his website.
Search Xavier Amador and LEAP on youtube.com and you should find some long videos
http://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/index.php - under problems you will see anosognosia
Anosognosia looks like denial but is different.
http://lesswrong.com/lw/e25/bayes_for_schizophrenics_reasoning_in_delusional/ - helped my understand delusions

Read through some threads on caregiver stress and taking care of yourself.