I’m looking for some advice on visiting.My 22 yr old son cut himself on Friday after what i should have seen was a truly extra crazy week. First I should say I work long hours every day and sometimes 6 days a week and he is alone at home for that time (as a single Mom and his sole carer). However, my work place is very close and I have been able most days to get home at lunch time -check he takes his meds) or if he has been really bad, even sneak home other times too, plus we phone every day or text.
Anyway, long story short. Came home Friday to see he had emptied my 368 gram pot of Vaseline and applied it all over his head and was running half naked around the house hiding in corners backwards and mumbling nonsensical sentences and covering his eyes and saying anything blue hurt. He had cut his arm wrist by using a very sharp nail -his own thumb nail.
I called an ambulance and after endless interviews with police and social workers he was admitted to hospital for an initial one month. It may be two or more they said.
In some ways, as his carer I feel some relief. I know he is in good care and I visited today (day 2) and he is really drugged but at least I know he cannot hurt himself. He said he was very tired and wanted to sleep and I should/could go.
I came home after the 2 hour ride there and back to a message from my SIL to say that when her son was hospitalized (he had a lung disease not mental illness) she visited him 3 times a day, every single day. Hmm. This made me feel like a bad Mom. I really cannot get to visit him that often with my work…in her case she was not working…but I am still left wondering how often I should try to visit.
In some ways I know he needed a change in environment.While he is away i am going to redo his room, move the furniture around, get him a new rug- make it look different. He hated that room because it had memories of an ex girlfriend. I cant offer any other room as we live in a tiny place but I can move things and tidy up and make it nicer.
My gut is telling me that I should let the nurses and people show him that others care and that this in itself is a learning and hopeful experience plus he has a card to phone me if he needs me to come visit urgently (no cell phones allowed just a public phone there). Yet I can’t help feeling a little guilty. This is his first hospitilization. It is only rovided in this country I live when the schizophrenic person is a danger to himself or others.
Any words of advice or experiences on visits or hospitalization appreciated. This is all new for us.
Thank you for reading and any comments.