We’ve been involved since December. He has a severe drinking problem and seems to come from a troublesome home with quite a mean and racist father (now dead). They are also Pentescostal Evangical, Southern, and faith seems to be the only thing he has.
However, when he drinks he will resort to spiritual abuse, the worst name-calling you can imagine, disgusting racism, accusatory, and straight up delusion (UFOs, channels, etc.).
The alcohol calms his torment for the first couple of beer but he cannot stop, sometimes drinking straight through two days. Then I will receive the most sorrowful, sad voicemails like a little boy breaking. He does cry, but I don’t know if it’s real crying. Am I being manipulated? I don’t know. He said he got straight As as a kid so he is not mentally challlenged and when sober sounds totally normal. Seems when the symptoms hit he was late teens and he got stuck in that age. But he is 45.
Abuse is a deal-breaker but is the kind thing to do, to switch the friendship, help him pray, etc.?
He’s been to jail for assault and has had girlfriend because he is very goodlooking in part and very sweet sometimes but he’s definitely on the downward drift, has maybe two friends (his pot dealer and pill popping friend).