Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Schizo BF abuse me


#1

Together with my shizophrenia bf (26years old) for 4 months. He has anger issues as well. He is rebellious and naughty. playful and addicted to game, not serious at work.

When i nagging him, he will get piss off easily. Last time, he almost threw chair at me. He said his body want to do it but he have to control himself not to threw on me. Two days ago, we argue and he get angry and threw my phone, he slapped my head. After that he apologized and promised he wont hit me anymore. He explained his brain keep asked him to hit me. But i realized when i stand at balcony, he not dare to hit me because he worry the resident in opposite building saw us. which mean he has conscious of what he is doing??

The next day, when i caught him helping friends to buy some bad stuff, i insist to stay at his house. He suddenly get angry and want me leave. I dont want to leave, then he start to punch my head, push me and pull my hair. He keep force me to leave, said he dont want hurt me. or if not, he will hurt me. But when i refused and just want to stay alone in his room. he will come near me and attack me.

I feel so heart broken and now i took a break with him. I cant believe how could he hit me without any sympathy… Until now, my head and ears still painful.

He seems like hopeless and not able to saved. I don’t know how to help him anymore. I’m not sure whether his anger issue is really related to schizophrenia or he has a tendency for violence? He already abused me for three times… is this a habit or actually related to his schizo? But one of his schizo friend would not act like him.

He reject to go church, reject to obey god. He is rebellious and unreasonable. His parents and me are so worry about him. Any of you ever encounter someone schizophrenic who have violence tendency?


#2

Hi ping63 that’s good you have got out you shouldn’t be treated like this , illness or no illness take care of yourself first ,


#3

Please think of leaving before you are hurt. This situation does not sound good. Safety first is good advice. AnnieNorCal


#4

How do you know he has schizophrenia? What were his symptoms to generate that diagnosis? Mental illness can change a person’s behavior, but I have read that, generally speaking, a person who was non-violent prior to illness will not normally be violent in their illness. So the reverse of that is also true. Schizophrenia is a brain disorder. The person’s brain does not work correctly. But if you are involved with a person who has this illness, boundaries are still important. You have to do what you can to keep yourself (and others, if applicable), safe.


#5

Please leave, call authorities, it is not a safe environment for you. I feel your sadness, sometimes we cannot stay to help and that’s okay. Call the police to intervene


#6

When you call police, always ask for a CIT (Crisis Intervention Team) or other trained unit in regard to mental health. Call from a safe place and tell them that you fear for your safety and be able to state exactly what happened or is happening.


#7

I’m going to say it’s not true about the violence. My son was never violent until he became ill and then he gradually became more and more violent. However, I agree that she should not accept it for that reason. The degree of violence tends to rise unless the person is responding well to treatment


#8

Thank you for sharing. It is good for us to have a variety of shared thoughts and personal experiences. In my situation, even though our son is not at all violent, he sometimes uses angry words but I can see that it is because of his frustration at not being able to communicate or to live independently and he feels like he is being treated like a child.


#9

Regardless of whether he has a mental health illness or not. Abuse is abuse and you should never tolerate it, take care of yourself first.


#10

he received schizo treatment before and currently taking medicine everyday. but sometime he forget to take medicine. he said he never hit girl before, and that day when we argue, he keep force me to leave his house but i insist to stay. then he get angry and keep hit me, he said he dont want to hurt me, but the next second he said if i didnt leave, he will hurt me… his personality is unpredictable and make me confused whether he is intentionally hurt me or unintentionally…


#11

thanks. but i also hope that what;s wrong with him so i can explain to his family. so that his family might have a clue on how to deal with him or help him.


#12

yes. He always said something hurtful or angry words when he frustrated.After that he will apologize to me. I still can handle his angry words but i could not handle he abuse me and not sure if he take schizo as excuse to make abusing become a bad habit. That’s why i’m here and wonder if anyone face the same situations.would like to know if schizo will turn someone into violence? because he told me his brain keep ask him to hit me.


#13

Sigh. It sounds like you must evaluate yourself and your relationship.

He may never change, and if so, you shouldn’t stay in an abusive relationship.

I stayed in one for 17 years and my husband was NOT psychotic. I tried to change him. It never worked. Eventually I left.


#14

Good for you you left :smiley:


#15

Thank you. It was hard for me to do, but I did it. I left my husband with only my things in my car, with a little money, no specific place to go, and I felt guilty about leaving, but it was the best decision I could have made. I didn’t tell him I was going, I changed my telephone number, he couldn’t find me for 3 months. By then the divorce was almost final. Seemed drastic at the time, to make myself homeless on purpose, but I’ve clawed my way back up to a good life and I will never tolerate abuse again.


#16

Now we just remain as friends. i think schizo might not a big factor to make him become violence but more on his original personality. He is lack of mature and not very independent. if he is mature enough, to be honest, i would not always nagging him or argue with him. Most of the time i argue with him is because i feel his behavior is not mature.


#17

You would be the best judge of his original personality and his current actions. I believe that a mental illness can stop a person from becoming mature and independent. I am mostly concerned that you keep yourself safe.