Hello all <3 I am just needing to vent. Years ago when my son went absolutely out of his mind, I had found a support group that I know if I had not found them I would have seriously gone crazy. My mother passed in 2007 and my son was VERY close to her. My son became depressed as well as I. He started acting very strange shortly after. He would tell me that Demons were coming out of his (rear end) jumping up and down, saying that people were following him, He made sexual comments and stared creepily at me, I have a suspicion that he was drugging me, he would shave his whole body and go to a fast food restaurant with his phone number hitting in girls (He was arrested on a nuisance charge) His friends called me one night and they had to call the police because he was acting strangely- The cops found him naked in the bathroom of the apartment squatting on the toilet. He was arrested 4 or 5 times. I was a single mom at the time and working 50 hours a week and trying to keep him under control. My face turned dark grey from stress and I lost 20 pounds in a week. His father wouldn’t step up or in until I called one of his sisters begging for help.
Father finally stepped up and took him to his home, where he went berserk and rode his bike to his old school and was wandering the halls acting scary, had a fight with his father and bloodied his nose, he ended up in the ER then the state mental home. He had to be restrained at the ER by orderlies. He ended up in the state hospital for 6 months. I had to write a letter to the judge and plead for him to be kept there until he was better.He was on a massive cocktail of drugs…Seroquil being the first. He used a legal drug called Salvia and also some type of Ecstasy.
Long long story short…I ended up with previous cancer metastasizing and couldn’t work any more, my mental state was a train wreck. I had several mental break downs. And ended up literally running away so his father would once more step up.
Its been 3 years since I left and he is with his father. We have talked quite often and I visited a few times. But he would creep me out talking about sex and and ME and sex and I would just tell him to stop that it makes me uncomfortable and he is not supposed to think like that about his mother.
He recently came to visit me and my Fiancee, Instantly the anxiety attacks hit. Sure that My fiancee would freak when he saw how messed up he is. Well he was worse than I’d thought. Back to the creepy sexual talks and glaring at me. This lasted two days. I had to make him leave. This BROKE my heart! Any mother knows ow hard it is but I find myself thinking Im such a horrible mom for not being able to stand being around him and being scared of him.
He wont take medicine. He denys he has a problem. I need to talk to other mothers who have to deal with this and the sexual comments and stares. Guess I will stop here. Im absolutely feeling alone with this guilt. Is there a place I can call to get help? I cannot afford a therapist at this point. Thank you and much love
My son talks about sex a lot when he’s manic/psychotic, but never includes me in it or looks at me funny.
I’m fairly sure he’s never had full-out sex - just making out with a girl or two that he’s known, but he believes he has had sex with lots of people. He hasn’t even met lots of people. It’s one of his biggest delusions.
I’m sure you’re not alone. On another forum I used years ago, there was a lady who had a son who believed both of his parents molested him. They loved him dearly, but had to cut off practically all contact with him because they were his triggers.
I’m pretty sure hyper-sexuality is a symptom, so it’s just the disease talking.
I would be uncomfortable with the situation as well, so I think your feelings are perfectly normal.
If my son got to that point, I don’t think it would be healthy for us to live together. It would break my heart, but I’d have to find him a group home or something for his own good.
Salvia may not be illegal everywhere, but that’s a serious drug. My husband smoked some once & said he thought his head was going to immediately explode. He threw it all away & said no one should ever touch the stuff. My husband has been known to dabble in all kinds of things, so that’s a pretty big statement for him to make. I hope your son is leaving all that stuff alone now. I know for my son, even the tiniest amount of pot can set him off.
Oh thank you so much for replying! I feel better already. Yes the Salvia I heard was used by American Indians to induce visions. Yesterday he told me that he is still trying different “Chemicals” and marijuana as well. And he accused his father of molesting him years ago.
I had just came across the “hyper-sexuality” yesterday, amazing you mentioned it. I will read up on it more. His father is against him using any medications and scolded me and put me down when the mental institution had him on so many meds or if I would take him to the doctor when he got out of control.
He berated me for years and years when I was only trying my best to help him. I finally ran away to save what sanity I had left. I was praying for God to take me, I did not want to wake up. Once his father emailed me and said I was a “shi**y mother” for leaving and I had to respond that “well, you always said I did a horrible job, now he is with you and you can’t blame me anymore”
I digress…Thank you once more for replying And I send positive thoughts to you and our family
You were asking about help for yourself. You should find put if there is a NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) in your area. It helps tremendously to speak to others who have experienced similar issues with their loved one with mental illness. It’s free and very helpful💛
My son was diagnosed Jan of 2013. He was 25. At the time of his first break, he had been becoming more and more focused on sex and girls (the lack thereof) He would say things, not directed at me, but to others who happened to be around, that were inappropriate, like saying he wanted girls to come over and he wanted them now! Problem was he didn’t know any girls in the area at that time. These statements weren’t directed at me, but I was uncomfortable and thought it was creepy as well. He had a Facebook account at the time and his friends were mainly family, but others were all young girls (his age, not little girls) all very pretty, but complete strangers. He sometimes would post a sleezy status update, inappropriate and not something you would see on FB. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but eventually all the friends were gone except a few cousins. So awfully sad for a mother. He never looks at FB at all now. I could go on but need more time. Very quickly, though, my recommendation for your sadness and your need for empathy is to ask to join some of these FB groups that are private/closed so nobody can see your posts except the group. Do you have a FB account or would you want to have one? If so, I will direct you to some very wonderful groups where you will find lots of empathy and information. And of course, this forum is awesome! Here is where I found my first consolation.
I think it’s easy to forget that sex is a basic, instinctual need.
I’m not sure if I’ll get this right because I learned in sociology a couple decades ago, but humans in general need the following, in order –
food & water
shelter
relationships, including sex
Then, you get to work on all the extras, like accomplishing goals, building your skills, etc.
These are young men, with all the hormones going that tell them it’s time to reproduce, and psychosis often looks to me like the primitive brain is taking over. They’re stuck in fight or flight mode & just trying to survive.
Add in that they’re lonely, they may not have good social skills, and they’re desperate for love & acceptance and it’s no surprise that these kinds of things happen.
I think it’s a subject that’s very hard to talk about in a group of parents - I bet it’s probably one of the biggest symptoms that’s just not mentioned.
And, to be fair, lots of women with severe mental illnesses make bad sexual choices too - I’m sure they get taken advantage of & worse. The difference is that it’s just easier, in most cases, for women to find someone to act out with than it would be for a man with a mental illness.
My heart goes out to you. My son who is 22 was recently diagnosed. My world turned upside down when I relocated to small town to be with my son. He lived with his dad for 8 yrs (after my divorce). His first psychosis was in beginning of May and it was scary. He would accuse of his brother and sister of having sex when they do not even live in the same city.
Where I live do not even have NAMI support group. I stumbled upon this site during my research trying to find all I can about schizophrenia. This place has been such a blessing for me where I can come and vent/unload without anyone judging me. Everyone have been so supportive and wonderful in sharing information from their journey.
I hope that you too will find this forum wonderful place to come and share your journey.
Well said. I bet you’re right. It’s something nobody wants to bring up! Never thought of that. Kinda really makes me feel even sadder. A good looking young man. He just doesn’t know how or what in social situations. So sad. So lonely. Next time someone points out to me eh … he’s better off. Who needs that grief? Well at least he won’t get a disease or unwanted pregnancy, or anything along those lines, I think I’ll have to set the ignorant jerk straight!
Thank you everyone for your input. You have helped tremendously! I will contact NAMI for help with this. Just wondering if your children were also “Gifted” or performed very well in school?? My son was that and also was invited into the Mensa Society in 9th grade, is a class 5 kayaker, Was into soccer and cliff diving. It’s so sad to see all of his talents…gone:sweat: He cant hold a job for long and I can’t talk to him about things and it be a “normal” conversation. Love and hugs to all of you:rose:
My son performed very well in school. Not Mensa but was in the “Honors” class in University to become a Social Worker. After the end of the first year, he was at the top of his class. My other son is a year from being a Dr. so seemed to be just luck of the draw. Sz was not in my family that we know of either. I wish you all the best @Sadness
and marijuana as well. And he accused his father of molesting him years ago.
And I send positive thoughts to you and our family