Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

New member to forum


Newbie here. Would like to introduce myself.
My name is Kathie &
my husband is a paranoid schizophrenic & also has been diagnosed with major depression and borderline mental retardation.
We have been married 20+ years.

Initially I thought his behaviors were related to his alcohol & drug use, but he stopped that early on except for occasional relapses.
But still the behaviors persisted so he got him diagnosed & is 95% medication compliant.
However, I have always struggled with many aspects of his behavior & feel more like his mother than spouse. Additionally some issues have never been resolved & I become a raving bitch when they keep coming up…I constantly feel like I am dealing with a teenager!
So let me ask if any of you deal with any of these issues, how you have dealt with them & have found your patience disappearing more each year???

  1. As mentioned feeling more like parent than spouse?
  2. Lack of adult boundaries such as discussing your kids problems w/spouse & how to address them, but him going to kids to warn them of possible punishments despite discussing this should be a joint effort? Or sharing personal info w/neighbors, friends, etc.
  3. Inability to manage money?
  4. Other addictions such as to porn, energy drinks or shopping?
  5. Secrecy?
    My husband has a heart of gold & would do anything for us, but he acts like a teenager rather than an adult and I have allowed his behaviors to make me miserable.
    Any feedback would be welcome.
1 Like

First of all, welcome to the group!

I know that my wife sometimes feels this way…I will admit that with my ADHD (currently untreated), my wife sometimes calls me her “fourth kid”. Because of my distractability, I often forget to do things like lock doors, turn off lights, etc… she feels like she has to follow me around to make sure things are done… or I forget something important she said and she thinks I don’t listen to her… I know these and other things frustrate her and I try to work on doing better, but it isn’t always easy.

1 Like

Hello there, I’m new as well. But your list is so relatable. My boyfriend and I are in our early 20s but I’ve encountered some of these issues myself.
He’s very dependent on me. For example I pay every bill he has, he’s a university student, and has no job. I have to transfer money to him all the time because he can’t control his spending. When he’s home, he will basically do nothing for himself. I have to bring him his food, his drinks, literally everything.
I actually told him I wanted to have a serious discussion and explained that our relationship seemed more like a parent-child relationship rather than a couple’s relationship.
He was very upset by that statement and has ever since, used those words against me as a weapon almost.

He too, is also a heavy porn user. I think he’s addicted to sex and is constantly talking about sex. It drives me crazy. 24/7 discussion of sexual things and even texting me inappropriate messages at work. I’m afraid to unlock my phone around my coworkers because I have no idea what’s going to appear on the screen.

I think I also am losing my patience, and he knows it. This summer when he returns from his study abroad, he has agreed to seek treatment. So hopefully this will help!
Best of luck to you