Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Okay, angry with my m.i.l. Her attitude!

Listening to her going on about how little she eats and about how fat makes you put on weight, and how she only eats one biscuit and that sort of thing
I think she is anorexic residual but healthy enough although skinny
I’ve had so much bulimia and overeating and slight obesity it’s hard to believe she’s not doing it to goad me
I’ve never challenged her about it the whole 14 years eating with her once every other week
Now my sister is unwell with purging anorexia and schizophrenia
It’s not a good thing, but we aren’t seeing my m.i.l much because of lockdown
Imagining her say one more thing… maybe I should ask her reasonably before any future meal that her comments are not helpful

Littlest stupidest post just very worried and so much love for my sister who is not far off dying at some point soon

I am so sorry for the horrors of for your sister with both an eating disorder and schizophrenia. Is she under a doctor’s care at all? It sounds like you have great concern for her medical condition right now.

It is hard to do, but we have to remember to not take to heart comments directed at us that are hurtful coming from a person whose mind does not work correctly (even when at times it seems that it does). There is no reasoning with someone whose brain is functioning in an illogical manner.

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Yes, thank you
I have tried to sell the news about sugar and low fat etc
No response
Denial
Beliefs exactly the same as ever ( my mother in law)

My sister has said to mum that she is only staying alive for her
So that she wouldn’t have to lose another daughter
She’s said to me that when mum goes she will go too

No doctor
Not ever
Total non compliance

So the only way I know how to help someone who is not compliant with treatment is to use psychology as explained in detail in the book “I’m Not Sick; I Don’t Need Help”. If you want to help your sister, it is my firm believe that reading this book, taking it to heart, and being willing to put what you learn into practice, is the path for hope. We can’t solve all problems, but there are also things we CAN do.

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I read this book recently
My memory of her saving my life by calling the ambulance getting me to a 3 month section …

Thinking she had done that and it had got me safe, I thought that was the only thing she had needed to do to save my life
So I got the police or ambulance out on her so many times
Against everyone else’s judgement but always the hope she could be taken in in a crisis
There was one near possibility when she was non responsive and the ambulance guy really wanted to take her but didn’t
Another time, because of her severe extreme self harm I said she may have a knife, they sent about 4 police in riot gear

All I can do now first is to apologise and say it won’t happen again

I think that for many people they have to weigh the aspect of harm (violation of trust) vs. help. The hope is that when the person with SMI is “taken away” involuntarily that he/she gets needed treatment. Unfortunately, that treatment even in a psychiatric hospital is often short-lived. As caregivers or family members, we can take other steps in an attempt to document and insist on the need for longer involuntary treatment (assuming the sick person is not cooperative with treatment). In my case, my loved one did not WANT to be in a hospital or take medication. However, he got so sick that he eventually got needed treatment and has been medication compliant for almost 2 years. And he is doing well and working part-time.

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My mother is carer to my sister
For 7 years she has not pressed hospital because they had our middle sister in hospital for 2 years and she died on leave. She absconded and was hit by a car and killed.
She does not want her to go in hospital because mum put our sister in hospital and she died

I had an experience of much help to stay in hospital and am still in recovery after 288 days in 2006.

I don’t unfortunately have the skills to talk to my sister
I’m autistic and have a very aggressive reaction when I go anywhere near her
Almost all the time
She usually just puts me down… and is tyrannical to my mum at all times for 7 years