Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

On the verge of divorce - how to hold back?


#1

I am not sure if my wife is actually suffering from this disease but i see most of these symptoms in her. I recently visited a psychiatrist and he prescribed some medicine which i found on the internet that they are given to the patient of Schizophrenia.

We don’t spend a single day when we don’t have a fight; she would look for reasons to start fights and now i am fed up with this after spending 10 years with all of this. It seems that we cant live together anymore. I have two daughters… They are so sweet… Don’t know what to do… I am in trouble… Real trouble…


#2

@Saladin, sorry that you are going through this. Glad you found this forum, there is a lot of help here. First and foremost you have to make sure that your daughters and yourself are safe. It is not healthy to argue with your partner all the time. I’ve been there. It doesn’t sound healthy for your daughters to be exposed to the constant arguing either. Sometimes to avoid the arguments you might just need to be more agreeable, hold back on what you really want to say, or walk on eggshells. Maybe you could mention that you want to see a relationship counselor to keep from arguing so much, and then maybe mention the symptoms your noticing in your wife and see if some medicine could be prescribed and say that is for your wife’s nerves or anxiety? Could your wife take care of herself if you two were not together? Is there family your daughters could stay with while you and your wife seek counseling and therapy? I guess you need to weigh your options, maybe write down the reasons to stay together and compare them to the reasons not to be together. Does your wife have auditory and/or visual hallucinations? If not she could have a different diagnosis than sz, I’m no expert though. Does she drink or use drugs? I hope you can find some relief.


#3

I am nobody to give you advice, as my life isn’t in control either. But I agree that you must keep your daughters’ well-being in mind as a priority. If your wife is endangering their well being or emotional state, it is not fair at all to keep them in that environment with her. I did not divorce my ex-husband early enough while raising the 4 kids, and my oldest bore the brunt of witnessing the arguments for years. She was always trying to protect me from his anger, and felt lost as she really couldn’t. She is the one who developed sz later, and I wonder how much family trauma played a part in her illness. I’ll never know, but I do regret not leaving that marriage earlier for the sake of the kids.