Yup. They had to take over paying for her condo and her other bills.
I don’t know, because she has anosognosia and her parents know but don’t want to admit that she has it.
From what I pieced together possibly 2-4 years.
It’s difficult to say because she has anosognosia. If I went from her last time working, 2 years. Though she could have started developing symptoms and have been functional for some time before being let go.
She’s a very social person and pretty smart, so she can slip into casual conversation easily, and can pass as normal for the less astute.
Though I do suspect that she does have auditory hallucinations as I’ve witnessed it first hand, and I’m not the only one to have tried to tell her to get help.
She’s shown me messages from Other friends that have noticed the odd things she says and recommended that she gets help.
Of course, because of her anosognosia, she get frustrated, like threatening violence frustrated and pushes those people away. Myself included.
ok, so this woman, in her 30s is SZ, her parents take care her and obviously dont want you around, you call them racist, so good buddy why the fuck are you intent on destroying her family and her?
My friend, I don’t understand your reasoning. My partner called them racist because of the things they told her for dating me.
It honestly bothered her more than it did me. I’m currently in undergrad with plans to go to med school, so at the very least I have no doubt in my worth.
Secondly, how am I destroying their family life by urging them to get proper help for their sick daughter?
As someone with schizophrenia, or the like, you should very well know that it isn’t an illness that gets magically better if you ignore it.
You’re too focused on them being racist.
Lastly, you know it’s possible for people to give family members a home and food and still not care for them properly, right?
I mean yeah she may not be homeless, but damn. That can’t be the standard for if someone is actually cared for or not.
My main concern is the complete well being of my ex-partner. I am concerned with more than her just having a place to sleep, food, and clean clothes, man.
I don’t understand why any of this is a problem for you.
You are the one with SZ as you make no sense, stay way from them… starcrossedlover, lol, my daughter has SZ and you came around me, it would not be pleasant for you buddy…
She was literally my partner. We seriously considered having a full life together.
And even after I’ve come to terms with the reality that things won’t work out because of her illness are you saying that I should just toss her aside and leave her be?
Doesn’t the rest of society do that enough to people with schizophrenia?
Excuse me for wanting to be different.
Why wouldn’t her well being be my business?
Also I don’t think it’s right to be using schizophrenia as a way to demean others GSSP. It is a serious illness, and you’re just perpetuating the historical stigma surrounding the illness.
Lastly I said might, but there were more than enough experiences and conversations to convince me strongly that she has it.
There was this one time when we were laying in bed together and I checked my Fitbit for the time because I had work, she grabbed my arm, looked me in the face, asked why I had that, and started full on sobbing.
Full body heaving.
Because she loved me so much, and thought that I was trained with the characteristics that would make her fall in love with me, she thought that I was wearing the Fitbit as part of my job as an agent to gain information from her.
Okay, I felt I was being fairly neutral in tone here. If you were offended in some way and feel unsupported, sorry about that. But people in this forum have lived with loved ones for tens and twenties of years who have been properly diagnosed by doctors with SZ related illnesses and struggling with anosognosia for as many or more years. And you asked for our advice and we gave it: move on.
Now you may not like this advice, or don’t want to let go, or are hurting. Join the club. It’s not like we are here because we like it, or enjoy it.
I’m one of the extremely lucky people who recover, and I’ve been at this for over 35 years. And I’m here because I feel the pain of people here every time I visit and think I can help because I have knowledge of the inner workings of the illness, but I wouldn’t deign to diagnose anyone after doing a little research and learning the word anosognosia. I mentioned all of those other mental disorders, because they are possibilities for delusional symptoms and there’re more beyond that. I don’t see how what I said in any way implies a person could only go to a therapist for SZ— in fact I told you that labels are irrelevant and gave you alternate possibilities.
My psychiatrist calls himself a life coach too, but he doesn’t get bogged down in absolute diagnoses as you do. It’s about life problems and how together we deal with them. Medication, advice, and more are involved. Life coach can be a less threatening term than psychiatrist or psychologist. I’ve had psychologists too and for a time was I unmedicated and was delusional and had similar symptoms and accused loved ones and friends of colluding with or being agents, as many caregivers on this forum have been as well. But I recovered.
Now I can’t support racism in any form, and if you are truly experiencing this, I’m sorry. It’s not cool. But put yourself in your lady friend’s and her parent’s place. You are saying something is wrong with her and they aren’t accepting or addressing it and implying you know without direct knowledge what she does or doesn’t say in a private therapy environment. But who are you to be saying this and making demands? Do you have a psych or doctors degree? And even if, you should never diagnose someone you know—therapist ethics 101.
If you’ve read anything about anosognosia and stigma and how to deal with it, you should know this is a futile way to deal with the problem and that’s why people are saying move on. To combat anosognosia you need to listen and empathize first and swallow your hurt. It’s not for an impatient person who assumes he knows everything, and thinks everything would be just fine if people just listen to him and apologize for all the bad things they said about him. As they say it’s a marathon not a sprint, and maybe some people here are being overly tough on you, and until now I don’t think I’ve been, but this is a tough love situation, and so far you haven’t demonstrated you have the constitution for this battle.
I agree, it can be hard for people to understand that this forum isn’t just about supporting forum members’ ideas. There is so much crucial information here - stuff you can’t find anywhere else- everyone gets input that they don’t want to hear from time to time.
I try to take in the opinions and experiences of the others and try to work out what is best for my family member.
We work hard to get our family members into situations that help them function.
@Star-CrossedLover, you sound like a very kind, caring man. Keep on caring, even when you know there’s nothing in it for you (ending the relationship with her), a commendable trait. We need more heart in this world. Take care
Hey man
Some parents are complete fucking douche bags
And are neglative and stubborn …
And would not admit if that you found something if they didn’t
And too be honest
Some therapist suck completely!!
It wouldn’t be uncanny to believe that that mixture was just her luck,especially in the medi-cal low income area…
Unfortunately
I wouldn’t really walk away if it really is a big problem
What you are demonstrating is compassion
Just make sure you are so keen eyed when you look at this phenomena occurring
I can’t believe the level of projection everybody here is demonstrating
Nobody knows a god damn thing that is actually occurring …
Goes to show that it’s a pretty tough disease for the caregiver!
And @GSSP Is like a combatant in this world of mental illness
He knows this illness upfront pretty damn well
I can imagine how silly it is to tell him anything about schizophrenia .In which why he probably felt really offended by all of comments…
I suppose it might demonstrate that you might need to learn to listen a bit and learn something…
Be humble .also nobodies going to hand out what you want in the way that you demand it…
I suppose patience would be a virtue to have too…
Anyways I suggest being keen eyed
And being so damn sure you are on point with everything you are perceiving
The 30+ year old SZ woman, parents pay for her condo, bills and im sure docs and meds. (lol, i do all that too)
guy is a different race, no big deal to me but the parents think different and well within their rights, they support this disabled woman, and he is using a free fucking phone to post on this forum… lol $$$$$$
he thinks he has the rights to Interfere, he can call the cops if there is bad shit gong on, nah, this guy is brain dead or out for some free disabled pussy with money, In My Opinion…
As a parent who -sometimes- tries to NOT be an f’ing douchebag:) I know that my decisions regarding my son’s life and my life, aren’t going to be embraced by everyone.
I am totally okay with that at this point.
We parents who hang in there with our kids with scz have endured trial by fire as we have searched for solutions that will work for our family members. When we finally find something that works -whether its a med or a situation, I believe we should stick with that until it doesn’t work anymore. The new normals never last forever.
The only time I am disappointed in this forum is when people don’t get a wide range of opinions, experiences and suggestions in regard to their postings.
This isn’t a forum for the sensitive, many of our experiences and attitudes are not for the faint of heart. There are lots of places on the internet where people will only blow sunshine in pc places. There wouldn’t be any purpose served if that was all that happened here.
Our kids are often victims of bad people as well as “well meaning” people, and as @TheSunshineMaras points out, “its a pretty tough disease for the caregiver”.
Rogers is a Canadian cell phone provider. The OP possibly lives in Quebec since he mentions a French exchange program, could also be Ontario due to the time zone. He also uses Canadian spelling conventions. But, I think we need to move on here.
In honor of Canadian courtesy, I offer the following quote attributed to John Watson / Ian MacLaren although it’s often erroneously said to be by Philo or Plato:
‘Be kind; For everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.’
