I’ve been reading some studies that indicate that people in homes with high emotional energy have the worst outcomes. This almost always refers to overly critical, impatient caregivers or a lot of bickering and quarreling within the household, even if it’s not directed at the ill person. It can also mean too much hovering and attention of the wrong kind.
But what about the flip side? No studies seem to describe what happens in families where there is a lot of love, support and patience. Such families or partnerships surely exist. Can too much expression of unconditional love make things better, have no effect, or even make things worse? I’m not talking about hovering, which could suggest a sense of insecurity and even mistrust on the part of the caregiver to the ill person. From what I read, people with schizophrenia are profoundly aware of emotions and feel them at least as much as healthy people, even if they can’t express them.
Honestly, I feel that trying to maintain calm around anyone who is ill is super-important. Especially when the ill person is already hearing voices bickering in their heads (delusions and hallucinations). That sort of unfriendly environment will upset anyone, not just someone with schizophrenia. I found it so very very hard to maintain courtesy, I made so many emotional mistakes. However, in the end, it was proper medications that saved our family.
I know what you mean about trying to remain calm and curteous all the time. I am so glad your daughter found some relief with her medication. I have read many good things about Haldol injections.
Hi @irene. Thank you. My daughter has had such a great journey on the Haldol injection over the past years since 2019, I am thankful daily for that medication. Many others didn’t work as well.
It took me a bit to learn to try to always respond with courtesy. I learned a LOT from a few of the nurses in the common rooms of the psych wards when she was admitted. They were very kind souls (usually big strong men) who knew how to balance courtesy and force.
I had to overcome my own nasty attitude towards her acting out MANY times, reminding myself it was the illness talking and not really my daughter…
I am absolutely on the love train. My spouse refuses to see a doctor. She is resolute in not wanting to take any meds (and has been like this her whole life). I give her patience, love, support. It’s the only thing I really know how to do. I know she feels my love even though she cannot express hers the way she used to. I believe love is the best medicine. Not the only medicine, but the best medicine.
It’s been a while since I read those studies, but my recollection was high levels of expressed emotion and not necessarily positive or negative emotions were the issue. I would caution against love-bombing with exaggerated expressions of love as they may seem false, contrived or insincere.
I feel just as much as toxic negativity exists, there can be forms of toxic positivity. I’m not saying don’t love, support or care for your charges, but consider expressing these emotions in a low key and consistent voice, manner and deed. All communication can be confusing for diagnosed people to read, especially if they tend toward paranoia. So clear consistent unambiguous low key body language, tone and text may make the difference between saying you love them, and having them believe it.
It is very hard at times to maintain calmness when your SZ love one is cussing you out, always saying you not telling the truth. In most cases I have been cool, but when I complain to her or tell to to stop it, then it triggers her and then you in for bigger and longer mayhem. So I am trying hard now to always be gentle, low voice and tell her each Time that I love her. And it works most of the them. Other times She just needs to blow of steam.