Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Schizophrenics have to accept their fate. Do caregivers need to aswell?


#1

It suprises me people with Schizophrenia go homeless or unloved. Shouldnt close family just accept their duty as a citizen and give shelter, despite the clinical illness, mood swings, etc.

I had an Schizophrenic uncle die at 50 in a group home with no family or loved ones.

Considering not all schizophrenics get better on medicine, and that some people with down syndrome and alzheimers can never get help from medicine and require a caregiver, shouldnt caregivers just accept that tecnically they have the illness too, and that it will be a struggle for everyone.

How is Schizophrenia any different than nonverbal autism? Why do parents and siblings feel entitled to abandon their adult child with schizophrenia, but not with down syndrome. I never see a down syndrome sufferer in the streets homeless.

Is it simply the fact that they made it to their mid twenties?


#2

Good question, but I think the answer is: people who have a child with down syndrome, know from the start and if they wanted to they could have let somebody else adopt their child. With schizophrenia, symptoms dont show up until much later, and … i guess they end up “dissapointing” their parents expectations. It’s selfishness. Plain and simple.


#3

Wow. Im sure it exists but i hope parents dont send their kid with Down Syndrome to foster care.

When you have a child you gotta be ready for everything including conjoined twins, triplets even. Blindness, cerebral palsy, and even down syndrome. Once you have that child there is nothing but ethical code, this is where the bible comes in but im not religious. i would just want to treat others how id like to be treated. doing the right thing shoulsnt be a law.


#4

I think that happens pretty often actually. I don’t know statistics though, its just something I’ve read and heard about.


#5

Legally, I think all parents are obligated to care for their kids until they’re eighteen. There’s no law that says they have to be decent people.


#6

Legally doesnt make it right. People can do the right thing without religion but sadly sounds like theyll just leave them in the streets. Americas sick. The law isn’t the only code of conduct someone should follow. Its called the golden rule.


#7

I think the big difference is in society you are regarded as shit for abandoning your kid with down syndrome. You can cut yourself some slack if its for schizophrenia.


#8

Dear @cactustomato

I’m sorry your poor uncle had to suffer alone and end up unsupported. I would be very afraid for any of my family to end up like that. I do want my both of my brothers to feel loved and supported. But it’s not always that easy.

In the case of your Uncle, as he was growing up, there was a lot of stigma attached to everything. There were institutions for everything. There were doctors who were convinced that only a well-equipped institution could truly help those who suffer from any disorder. Parents were talked into signing loved ones over.

The idea of at home care is in its infancy. There are more things on the market that help with day-to-day difficulties.

My brother is a chronic sleepwalker. It wasn’t until just a few years ago that there were affordable and easy to install door alarms for this issue. He also used to leave burners on and things would catch fire. That would kill his confidence for cooking. NOW there are burner sensors that just plug in. So what used to be a dangerous issue is now no issue at all.

It’s not that I don’t want to accept my brother’s illness, because I do feel that I have indeed accepted it. But that doesn’t mean with out help and support for myself I’d be anywhere near as helpful to him.

I do work with Downs Syndrome kids during the Special Olympics and yes some of the kids do get put into homes and are cared for by others. There are also homes for Autistic children as well.

When a family is unable to care of someone they need extra help. I’m not referring to the unwilling, but the unable.

There really are some families who are completely unable to care for their ill loved one. No matter how much they may want to.

Please be patient with us caregivers.

I have a heart full of best intentions.

I’d like to think that I’m giving my all to aid my brother when he’s in need. But as a person with 20 miles of good intentions and only 20 inches of any real training, I do end up in over my head. I’m sure I’m not the only one in over their head.

Thank you for letting me post.


#9

thank you for taking care of you brother, im blessed to have a great aunt whose there for me, and a dad who gives me money to help me get my life back together. i realize yall get stressed to, a big thing in my mind is some dont understand how stressed WE are. This is our brain. Thats basically the whole lot of our existence.

Im glad you take care of him, im so sprry you have to, i didnt mean to come off as if people who do care dont deserve respect.

I was bawling crying the floor because i thought my life, the one i planned for with a significant other is over with. i had goals and aspirations for college being a doctor getting a nice house just as everyone else has. good credit as well. One might give up a little piece of mind, there house, even heated arguments sometimes taking care of s schizophrenic, but this means takes four times the stress off our backs to give us love and a place to live


#10

Yeah I’m never having kids. I couldn’t handle the responsibility. Someone’s gotta do something about over population. Kids are cool and all but that is just something I don’t want to deal with. I feel better to just live for myself and die. Although I’m recovering my parents have said they would do whatever they had to in order to keep me housed and fed. It’s comforting to have a safety net, but I’m pretty sure I’m in track to start carrying my own weight.


#11

i wont have kids either unless i really get better and can get a real job and function again. i wrecked my car and everything. my dad doesnt realize by giving up one hour of his afternoon to take me to the doctors it saves me five hours on the bus, plus the bus fair. these things help and we cant say thank you enough, but giving up on us…wow… i find it so mind boggling its a schizophrenics responsibility to find shelter even though we function at such a low capacity sometimes.


#12

I’m wish you didn’t feel your life was over.

There is still hope and healing to be done.

I’ve read many people on the forum who are getting stronger, going back to school getting back into work. There are a few people on this forum who are suffering this illness and going to school for nursing or are nurses in the profession.

I always got the feeling that my parents thought my brother might grow up and become a teacher and this illness put him on a different path.

He’s not a teacher in the conventional sense. But he does teach in his own way through the job he has now.

Please do keep up hope, a very amazing path might open up to you as you heal.


#13

It’s a different battle but there is help don’t overlook that. We can qualify for disability. Get state funded vocational rehab services. It’s different in every case but there is help.


#14

fortunately indont technically feel that way anymore but when i was ill i certainly did. i might have 31,000 in ER and school debt to pay off but im blessed to have a stable fee place to stay where i could save and get another vehicle after i get a job again.


#15

your right. i heard it takes two years to get disability go figure. im much better now, but i feel for those people who felt like i did, when i thought my life was completely over, but had to worry about a place to stay and getting the right meds with no insurance, etc. on top of fear of hearing CIA shit ther est of your life


#16

Yeah dude I remember thinking my life was over. I was going to live for as long as funding lasted and then off myself. But things got better with time. I’m in a condition now to work. I actually think I need to in order to keep getting better.


#17

A relative of mine recently somehow got rid of her Down syndrome baby. There are people who adopt.

Would you rather we would all be ‘terminated’ as embryos or fetuses if/when a test becomes available?

My parents stuck with me but I was medicated most of the time and not physically abusive or threatening. The experience did take a toll on them, though.


#18

I had to ask my son to leave home because he was getting more and more aggressive and irrational and I thought he might kill me. We didn’t know what was wrong with him at the time. I suggested we went together to see a pdoc, but he was sure he was ok, just everyone was out to get him. So that didn’t fly. I told him to leave, gave him a lump sum, made sure he had somewhere to stay and gave him money again and again. I was terribly worried about him and never gave up on him, even though he was very verbally abusive and I had to phone and email again and again and again to get hold of him. Now he’s got a diagnosis and good housing and socialsecurity, he’s getting better and our relationship is good again. But it was a terrible period for both of us. But at least I’m still alive to help him!


#19

It can be a bit tough on caretakers too, this illness. My folks have been stressed trying to understand how to help me. And I wasn’t always nice to them either. I’m just glad they haven’t given up on me.

Some people aren’t as willing to help their own, and thinks its easier to just send them off. Now that I can’t forgive.


#20

Although sometimes being sent to a group home, etc. ends up being better for the one with schizophrenia too. Get some distance and independence for both parties.