I’ve found this site to be valuable and I’m thankful for what I’ve learned. Now I’m crying out for help on behalf of my fiancé. I’ve watched stress and med adjustments and reliance on large amounts of THC take my fiancé down into a terrifying world of paranoia and psychosis that is absolutely crippling him. His brilliant mind is now fevered and full of fear that everyone and everything is against him and he has to react defensively and with extreme anger. Including me. I was his angel, a godsend, a year ago. Now, I’m Satan and he can’t verbally unleash enough. He’s been against hospitalization, saying it always makes things worse. He’s taking prescribed meds, just not as prescribed, he chooses when to take them, which usually means one day’s worth all in that day’s morning. He medicates with pot, more and more, wanting to get some respite, wanting to feel high and be able to enjoy it. But he’s also an addict so he has those tendencies even though he’s 20 years sober. I still try, I’m the only one he has, me and my son. The psychiatrist wasn’t that much help (because he has “500” patients), though I appreciated the fact that he answered and soon. I’m a nurse, I know about patient loads and shortfalls in mental health support etc etc. Do I just watch him circle the drain until he agrees to treatment? It’s very complicated and difficult and I don’t know how much more any of us can take.
Nothing will improve until he admits that daily weed use and non-med compliance are hurting you all. Perhaps try a ‘break’ as a test. Go off weed; get on meds routinely. “Try for 10 days and see if you feel better”.
The purpose is to avoid ‘fear of permanence’. Things like ‘you will have to stop weed or alcohol FOREVER!’ Or other permanent statements have been overwhelming to my son.
If he feels like it’s just temporary, then sometimes he’ll try it. And then, sometimes he feels better and we’ve made forward progress.
But until your boyfriend wants/tries to improve, then you and your son are in a volatile (hopefully not dangerous) situation.
To add to what @Sando replied, see if he will keep a journal during the “Try for 10 days and see if you feel better”. Our Family to Family instructor had a strong belief in the power of proof in their own writing.
Hi. I’m really sorry that you’re going through this. Your fiance seems to be in psychosis, but the agonosia isn’t as bad as it could be. As I’ve seen with my wife, making them quit pot while this is happening is next to impossible. I think he needs Involuntary hospitalisation, else you would have to trick him into having the medication, that too would take around a month to really work. Take care of yourself and your son. We’re here for you.
I have found case studies on CBD eliminating the urge for pot in the mentally ill. It worked for my family member, who was a profound abuser of pot. He’d still like pot if it were readily available to him, but the CBD has taken away his cravings for pot and he turns to CBD when he is under a lot of stress. CBD, as you may know, is from hemp and is the antipsychotic to THC’s psychotic. My (schizophrenic) person smokes cbd rather than getting it in some other form…not sure how others in case studies have partaken it. Was really life changing for us.
I can relate to everything you’re living and so I truly feel your pain. Our situation is our 23 year old daughter that vaped THC pretty steady (very concentrated) and it put her into psychosis, paranoia, delusions. Our daughter did stay on daily meds and got better over the first 6 months. Currently we don’t know how she’s doing…she is estranged from us. We go to Alanon and that helps.
Hi Steve.
I can relate to your story and those of so many here. My son is going to be 22 and self-medicated on heavy doses of THC which then turned into schizophrenia. He was estranged from us for months and we could not find him. When we did, things got better for a year after we got him on medications that were working. Then, one day he got in the car to go to work and didn’t come home. The next afternoon, he was found in another state 19 hours away. We were able to get him home and now, are constantly trying to figure out the right balance. Hang in there with your daughter, she’ll come around. Stay strong. Alanon is a great place. Sorry, you are going through this. Sending prayers for her return.
This almost exact scenario happened to us with our 35 year old son. Pot and Adderall daily followed by delusions, rage, paranoia, grandiose thinking and spending. Lost everything from jobs to home to wife and daughter. So unlike him. Now he couch surfs and hasn’t spoken to me or any of his family in 3 years. I still feel like it’s a bad dream ll wake up from one day. Trying to cope and move on, just so many questions… how did this happen???
@magrah Perhaps if you know what medication worked for your fiancee when he took it correctly, there is a long acting injectible version. My daughter’s years-long psychosis only broke after 3 months on the Haldol Dec Shot, court ordered after involuntary hospitalization. Prior, she was non-compliant to meds after 4 hospitalizations, as she couldn’t see any need for anti-psychotics in herself. She would have never voluntarily stayed on pills. I hated myself for forcing her into the hospital and on meds, but now, 4 years later, she has been a success story since 2019. Despite meds, It took a LONG time for her to be able to see and discuss rationally her past psychosis. She no longer has anosognosia.
I know now with certainty that forcing her into the hospital and onto meds was the only way for her recovery.
You have a lifelong war against schizophrenia on your hands, compounded with marijuana use. I am sorry you are in this situation, but only you can choose to fight this battle with him, or to leave him to his own misery. It is a terrible situation either way, really.