I also think some things are due impulse control-anxiety issues…
t is admirable how much you care for your son…
but life even with an illness is a two way street.
you have to lay down rules;
- respect at all times.
- if he is in an odd mood , he has to have the self dicipline not to ring you or dump it on you.
- tell him you have a life, you still love him, but you won’t be at his beck and call.
- write him a point form letter ( not to wordy…he is a guy and a sz ) stating you love him unconditionally, you only want the best for him, and you recommend he does the following for his own health…i.e meds etc.
you have to let go, he knows what he should do, what he needs to do.
he maybe mentally ill but that is no excuse for continued bad behaviour.
basically he needs to grow up.
take care
This is probably the best advice I ever received!
I am trying to do this myself now. Im afraid I was like your wife in a lot of ways. Its very hard as a mom.
I`m working on it!!!
Thanks Mr. Sith!!!
I haven’t been on this site in forever. My daughter has been on her meds for 4 yrs now. She is 31. She lives with me. Lack of boundaries, she has no real concept of what they are and this is making me exhausted. She is like a teenager always self-focused, and no one understands what she has been through or where she “thinks” she wants to go. This morning she woke up with a great idea. Per her logic, great ideas need fueling by a beer or two to capture her creative energy (it is 10 AM). We argued about it. I took a walk. When I got home she was on to another idea, a great video game idea. I listened for hours about this idea with no sense of when the conversations should be over she went on and on.
Peace and quiet no longer exist in my home. She dominates everything because of her illness, and she is one of the success stories. I don’t want to be a Debbie downer but when you live with a schizophrenic you have to accept there is no such thing as boundaries. I have set them. But the only way to really get my daughter to snap out of her selfishness is to state I am moving out of our rental and she has X amount of days to figure out where she is going. Like a teenager, she attempts to be less selfish but her mind will not allow that for very long. I know as her mom if I did not care for her she would be back in the streets off her meds and on drugs in less than a week. She is a schizophrenic and always in her head. It is the disease. God bless anyone who takes on the role of caregiver. It is like a slow death.
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I have more questions than answers because I don’t even know if I should expect someone with a mental illness like esquizofrenia to actually behave like a normal individual! I sometimes ask my son when he shops in the supermarket not to buy a lot of stuff because our fridge is almost full! He goes and buy more than I expected and now our fridge is about to explode! This drives me crazy! 
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So true. Can be very frustrating.
I’ve leaned to set my expectations at the right level to accept the illness. Celebrating the little victories. Like drawstring awareness….
Welcome to our forum!!
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Thank you! I am glad to have found this group! 
I literally just came upon this site and what you and others wrote, gave me such peace. Thanks!
Great suggestions. I’d make sure to let him know that you will monitor the shower gel situation tonight, but would appreciate it if he takes on that responsibility subsequently. And make sure to let him know you are confident he can do it.
If you haven’t already, check out the LEAP method: https://leapinstitute.org