Am I alone, ? Is this usual?
Son 25 is on a community treatment order, he is in process of changing depot, from paliperidone to zuclopenthixol . He never has been compliant. To sum it all up after a year on depot, it’s enabled us to live together , son has affection for me, he is calmer , slower, much slower in actions and in his speech (unless he is showing his frustration about mental health staff.
He come out recently what he should have by now, he says I should have my car back, I should have a wife, a job, kids. So he “knows” but he says it’s having had his soul removed and replaced by soul of a bad person that’s the reason he can’t have all of this.
I struggle to process how for instance , we were parked up in the car on a quite busy road yesterday we live in (uk) and he spoke about how clever all the infrastructure was in the country, he spoke about how it all works together , roads, companies etc , not for long as we were interrupted. So he says that, quite a normal observation and sensible view of it.
Fast forward I think 2 hours, he looks forward to food and it was after he had a treat of Chinese food. He started saying he he is going to be “killed”. He says last year he used his card in a machine in Burger King , and it was him being tricked into paying for a ticket to Afghanistan (Kabul) specifically he said.
It breaks my heart at times that he is so sad and thinks it’s because his soul was taken.I posted about that a while ago and said a great thing someone suggested. I said I see his soul, it’s in his smile, his laugh (which he does at times now)
The dr rang me last week with a link to a website for us, his parents, it’s called react and anyone can sign up. It’s a “tool box” for the carer.
I said to dr that at times I feel like not fighting him and saying, come off to all like you want and see how it affects you!! The dr who is lovely to him and us said he thought he would get worse. That was actually reassuring to hear strangely as it made me a bit stronger in him being made to take the meds.
Do others on here sometimes struggle with the “is he ill” or isn’t he, I am annoyed with myself for being like this.
If you have gotten this far then thank you for reading and tell me what you think please.