My original post here was about my son being miles away from me and isolated in his college town. I got lots of good and caring advice. Long story short, I went to my son’s city and convinced him to come home with me for the fall. I got him into a FEP program, and they signed off on his trying college again in the spring. His college also had to see him and evaluate him and make a decision. They agreed to let him come back. He did - but then he just didn’t enroll.
So he’s been sitting in the house I’m paying rent on for the last 3 months doing nothing. He completely isolated himself again. I can see his bank account, and I saw regular Venmo transactions that lead me to believe he was smoking a lot of pot. I didn’t go get him again, because (a) it was a naturally limited timespan - the lease is up at the end of May and (b) I was hoping he might actually come out of it somewhat and see some of his old friends (he really has absolutely nobody at home anymore - they’ve all moved on). And really to be honest, I couldn’t bring myself to stage another big intervention. I just didn’t have it in me.
Just in the last couple of weeks, I was seeing signs that he might be coming out of it. Instead of Venmo, I noticed he went to the Vape Shop. I don’t love that he vapes, but it’s better than pot, and he actually left the house. Also, he was texting me more, and last Wed he even told me he was going to start going out again, and asked for the number of the therapist that he was supposed to be seeing, but never did. I was feeling great about his progress but then I noticed another Venmo deal (after none for a couple of weeks) - and then that night his landlord called to say he’d been harassing the girls next door. He had texted one of them, and apparently he was going over to knock on their door, even after they told him to stop. I called him like 5 times and he wouldn’t answer, which isn’t unusual, so I texted him and told him what the landlord had said, and that it was important he not go back.
Well, he went back. And they called the police, and he told the police he heard voices (unfortunately I think he literally heard the voice of the girl telling him to come over), and they took him to the ER. So he’s been there since Thursday night. I flew to his town and have been staying in a hotel near the hospital. Great vacation, right? I’m not sure why I’m even here, because he doesn’t want to see me. I want him to come home with me again, so here we go again. He only had 2 more months here anyway, but he now says he will just “leave the girls alone” and he wants his last chance to go out. Nobody thinks this is a realistic plan. The landlord doesn’t want him to come back, but is refusing to call me and I think is physically incapable of confrontation. He doesn’t want to be the bad guy, and he doesn’t want to make it official by actually evicting him either. If the girls call the cops on him again, he will probably go to jail for stalking, and they’re creeped out and I’m guessing will call if he even steps into the shared backyard. I don’t really blame them, I guess. I’m not sure if what he did would have been perceived as threatening if he weren’t “that weird guy who never leaves the house”, but it is what it is.
So my son is in the hospital, and it’s visiting hours right now, but I’m just sitting here. He’s made himself pretty clear. He says he will talk to me when he gets out and not before. He says I have an agenda and that if he talks to me I’ll “get my way”. I went earlier today. I had planned this time to stay the whole hour in case he changed his mind, but they told me if he wouldn’t talk to me, I couldn’t stay.
They have him on Zyprexa. They think it’s doing him good. I hope so - Risperdal didn’t do anything for him last year, and I’m sure he’s going to tell them that he feels a lot better. It’s likely that he gets out tomorrow and I really have no idea what will happen next.
At least he’s popular in there. A patient (older woman) came and told me she’d had conversations with him and that he was doing great, would be OK. Give him some time. She was sweet. Said she was there for “anger issues” but had done peer counseling. She pointed out that he was spending a lot of time with a young woman. Also, a very loud, kinda funny young guy keeps proclaiming my son to be his best friend. I thought he was just making a joke because my son was sitting there with me, but then he was in the visiting room today with his family going on and on about my son. I certainly want my son out of there ASAP, but it’s nice to think he’s getting some social interaction in there, after being so isolated for so long…