Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

So tired of dealing with the illness. - Vent


#1

My husband has had schizophrenia since our first anniversary. I grew up with my brother with the illness as well. I’m just very tired of dealing with this. My husband has just finished a hospital stay and frankly, he was suicidal at the time. I just don’t know if they resolved that for him this time. I feel very alone with this and I feel like I have no one to really talk to about this. I find the support for family members lacking in our community. I looked up NAMI in my area and there aren’t any meetings here. I love my husband, but I am very confused.


#2

Hi Connie,
Please look at these sites:
http://www.leapinstitute.org/ - under resources are free videos on using LEAP
LEAP is a way of communicating to build trust. Listen-Empathize-Agree-Partner.
http://dramador.com/ - Dr. Xavier Amador is a clinical psychologist whose brother had schizophrenia. He is the founder of the LEAP Institute. Wrote the book: I’m Not Sick I Don’t Need Help! Can buy from his website.
On youtube there is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdVj8gXsETs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppculi-Os2g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnbOizw_zS0
http://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/index.php - under problems you will see anosognosia
Anosognosia looks like denial but is different.

By using LEAP maybe you can help to cut down on the stress between you and your husband.
You are not alone. Vent here whenever you need as you will find support.


#3

When I tell my mom things that happens to me ( like my symptoms or theories about my sz ) she gets upset, later I knew that she’s being affected by what I tell her, I lived with sz a long time and I kept it all inside me, my family didn’t know I had it, except that I have told my parents lately because I couldn’t live with that secret anymore, and I had it since I was 10 years old… I understand that the family have a hard time dealing with this sz, but me and my family have rules about each other’s behavior, and it works almost very well…we set rules and live along with it. I don’t bother my parents about my symptoms as much as I did in the last weeks, I simply deal with it alone, because I figured out that only me who can fight this, and letting people into this is adding too much to handle for them…you can do something like that and with time schizos usually get better in dealing with reality, things become better with time…don’t get so sad…it’s something that might wash away after all, just let time heal it.


#4

Hi Connie,
What a heart breaking position to be in.
Doesn’t look like there are any easy answers and must be terrible to feel like you have no support. Have you spoken to you GP about it?

My mother had sz and was suicidal, was a hard road, now my daughter seems to be following the same path. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with grief I don’t know how I will get through each day, but I put on my face I keep in the jar and get on with life and manage to get through each day like all is normal and sometimes even snatching moments of joy. I am a primary teacher.

I try not to think of the future, just deal with what is. You might want to do some reading about ‘mindfulness’. I find it helpful, as it helps me focus on the ‘what is’ and it stops my mind from being consumed by the distress that I feel.

Hugs to you.
Scarlet


#5

Connie, I am so sorry that you have to deal with this all by yourself. I hope you will use to forum for support and encouragement. I know it’s hard when a family member is mentally ill and especially when it’s your husband. There are no easy answers Connie except to put one foot in front of the other and do the best you can to take care of yourself. I found when my daughter was extremely ill that walking outside helped me a lot. I also found a hobby to get totally absorbed in just to get away from the chaos. I’m wondering if you can contact NAMI again and see if you can start a support group for caregivers. It only takes one person to make that move and you will eventually have people coming to the meetings. Don’t give up on NAMI – get involved and you will be surprised how one person (you) can make a difference in your life and other peoples’ lives. Good luck to you.


#6

I want to post what I read on a NAMI website for you Connie --“The Power of One.”


#7

An update folks. Things are much better here. My husband seems to be on a very positive path since the last time in the hospital. I want to thank you all for the support.


#8

Thank you for the update. I’m glad that you and your husband are doing better.


#9

@Connie…Great news that your husband is doing better.

Keep up posting here. We’re here to support you.


#10

hi my husband has it too i have no family support on either side i too get very frustrated all my husband does is yell at me i do nothing right we have been together 25 years he has been diagnosed for 12 of them he won’t even take meds hope all is well