Son coming home after 6 mo in residential facility


#21

Are you close to McKinney?


#22

I live in Sherman TX.


#23

The nurse just called. My son has been confrontational all day with the staff-stating he is discharging so they can’t do anything to him.
The nurses didn’t know anything about his discharge so wasn’t sure what was going on.

It’s not a ‘pick him up and leave type’ discharge. The doctors and therapist wanted a 2-3 day TLOA ( temp leave) to make sure he did ok on the outside and with me. So I am supposed to pick him up tomorrow (tues) and bring him back Thu for official discharge. Now we don’t live here so I am in a hotel and my son will be in the hotel room with me as well. I have questioned the logic of having us stay cooped up in a hotel room. The stress that we will both be under doesnt seem conducive for a great ‘test’ discharge.

Now the nurse tells me he thinks he is officially discharging tomorrow. How the heck do I bring him back Thursday for the final without him blowing a gasket? He is already being belligerent with the staff.
And while there is plenty to in Atlanta, is it really a good idea to take a paranoid sz to a tourist trap?


#24

If you ever want to get together for coffee sometime, just let me know. We have some things in common with our sons. The first week of October I can get away if you are interested. Sorry you are going through a bunch right now. I hope the trip back goes well.


#25

I would like to have coffee and chat. Thanks. I will keep in touch.


#26

What a cluster f*ck.

If I were you, I’d tell the hospital that you are picking him up and taking him home on whatever agreed upon date you set. No LOA. You can check in w the docs when you get home.

Explain that you live far away, and that bringing him back and forth is not possible. An extended hotel stay is not possible.

Is your son there voluntarily or is it a court ordered treatment?

I don’t blame your son for being belligerent. He’s frustrated and wants to go home. The staff sounds incompetent in this matter.

Stick to your original plan, if possible. Good luck!


#27

Please excuse my opinion being so strong, but oh, no, no, no. This is most likely an impossible plan for you and your son to succeed with. I agree with @Jan, you must pick him up and take him home, period. I’ve never heard of a “conditional” release. Being cooped up in a hotel room and/or going out as tourists sounds like the exact opposite of what should be being recommended by the hospital.


#28

I have already committed to it. I can understand the facility’s point of view and if I lived in the area I could completely understand the extra days. They want to make sure he doesn’t backslide after being cooped up for 6 months.
Unfortunately he needs his Haldol shot and isn’t due for it until Saturday. They are going to give it to him on Thursday before we head home. Yes, it seems like they are holding the shot hostage but I do truly believe they are doing what they think is right however inconvenient it is for the family.

This is not how I wanted it to go down but sometimes you have to pick your battles. I guess I should have fought harder but the therapist said all the right things and pushed all the right triggers. If the situation becomes too much I will move up the discharge. I won’t put my son in a position to backslide because of something that can be avoided.

Thank you so much for your opinions. I appreciate the help. I sometimes have tunnel vision and rose colored glasses so need the reality checks.


#29

I hope this arrangement is ok with you. I would still advocate for a one-day release. You are the consumer, so you have the last say in the matter. Even if you’ve committed to do otherwise. I feel sorry for your son, too.


#30

@Meileigh Well, you can always get pizza and movies! We’re rooting for you! Everything will work out for the best. Glad you have your passion flower! Keep us posted!


#31

So I called the therapist and informed her that we would be discharging tomorrow. My son and I are going to go to the World of Coke in Atlanta in the morning and then go get him discharged. The added stress of staring at the walls was too much. I have already given in and bought him a pack of cigarettes - which i swore I wouldn’t do.

I just told him the plans and he seemed to be happy about that change. I told him I would not hide anything from him. Things are going well so far between us.

Let’s hope the World of Coke touristy place doesn’t cause any issues.

Thanks everyone for the words. I need to hear them and it helps to know I am not alone.


#32

Good job @Meileigh! Trust your intuition - clearly what you are doing. You can always change plans if the Coke place is too much. I wouldn’t worry about the ciggs. My son smokes and I make him leave the house to do it. Of course I hate it but it’s the least of my worries. He was also dz paranoid sz and is 28.


#33

Good luck!

You’ve got this!:tulip:


#34

Oh, best of luck to you both. I agree that taking him home seems to be the least disruptive thing you can do. Is it possible to get it set up so he can get his shot back home when it is due? Seems like a little cooperation between care providers would let that happen.
Take care and trust your intuition. You know what your son can tolerate and what is too much.


#35

I think the World of Coca Cola sounds like a good idea. If he is interested. It’s a lot of fun. Lot’s of free samples of coke products sold throughout the world - -things we don’t have here.

Good Luck. Sending positive thoughts your way. Whenever you want to chat I’m around.


#36

So happy to hear that! Have fun tomorrow!


#37

Hi my son is 19 years old and if we is good I want to chat about it .too .my nightmares begging in March .was diagnosed with sz and was hospitalized .I felt alone this is so scary for all family .and aisle from outside too.he take medicine but is so hard not know what gonna happen tomorrow .so if you want share experience will be good for me let me know thanks


#38

Do you think he is ready to come home? What might life look like after he gets home? Do you expect he will be medication-compliant?


#39

I would encourage you to take one day at a time, one step at a time. The period it took me, my husband and my son to absorb the seriousness of his diagnosis of schizophrenia was many months. The realities of the disease, and the journey through the symptoms and the acceptance of the illness is a process. One day, one step at a time. I would also encourage you to get your own therapist–someone you can pour your grief and questions out to. Someone who understands the disease and help you navigate through getting your son the right kind of help. He is still your beautiful boy, just with an illness. He is still in there. This I believe. Love wins in the end. Take heart, and keep reaching out. Help is on its way.


#40

Update: We are home!

I opted to bring him home a day early because I knew that staying in a hotel room was not the best way to gauge my son’s readiness to be discharged. I knew that he was ready to come home.

On Wednesday we went to World of Coke in downtown Atlanta. I figured if he was going to have any major issues right off the bat that a touristy spot would be the place. My son chose to go to WOC…he wanted to taste all the flavors. We ended up having a wonderful time and engaged in several good conversations.
We went to the facility after that and did the discharge paperwork. We left Atlanta and drove over halfway before getting a hotel. My son was sullen and withdrawn during the discharge process - it seems like that place seriously depressed him. I think I saw him physically relax once we left the gates.

This morning we completed the drive and there were only a few signs that he was unsteady - mostly locking the car doors if I went inside the gas station for a bathroom break. He rarely left my sight otherwise.

We are home and I am doing laundry and trying to get back into a ‘regular’ routine. I am signed up for the NAMI Family Support group classes that meeting on Thursdays (tonight’s the 2nd class) but I have chosen to stay home this week to be with him.

Thank you everyone for the advice, kind words, and support. This whirlwind trip was stressful and overwhelming at times but it was time for my son to come home. Tomorrow is a new day and I plan on taking it step by step.

I would love to hear from y’all anytime so if you need to chat please reach out. We should not be alone through this.