Son coming home after 6 mo in residential facility


#41

@Meileigh So glad to hear it went well! My son got home in June after 6 weeks away (hospital etc). He’s working and getting his monthly shots. He still doesn’t like to hang out with me so I just let him stay in his room as he wants. Mostly he’s sleeping because he works many nights and about 60 hours a week. We went from one extreme of isolating to working as much as he can. Is it just you two? I think it is. It’s just me and my son in a small 2 bedroom condo. It seems to work ok for now. He is saving to move out. I have some worries for sure but for now we are staying the course.


#42

I pray that things will work out well for you both. SZ takes away the person you once knew. My wife and I have watched it happen to our daughter who is now 35. After almost 10 years she has not had much success with getting better. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and your son.


#43

If you’re in Atlanta, definitely visit the Botanical Garden. I went earlier today and it was a really great time. Plus, those displaced by the hurricane get a discount on admission ($15 max for all day parking + $11.95 entrance fee). Money well spent!


#44

It is just the two of us in a 2 bedroom apartment. It has been over a year since he has lived with me so we have some adjustments to make but so far it’s going well.


#45

Son comes first, but don’t miss the NAMI F2F class! I encourage you to find a way to make that doable! Glad he is home!


#46

I will try passionflower what brand are you taking. I am having uncontrolled panic attacks and cannot control it my body won’t stop shaking. My son has become completely delusional. There’s no talking to him he’s throughing everything out then when I want to look through the garbage he says it’ dangerous and he will call the poice on me. Then he is telling me that some one is coming in the house and taking everything. He saying people are coming in and tampering with his electrical outlet they want to burn up his house and it just goes on and on . He has already been in the hospital three times and that just didn’t go well the police broke down the bedroom door then tazered him. I can not go through this again. I just don’t know where to turn no one cares.


#47

Have you contacted your local NAMI support group? They have been a tremendous help for me. Don’t give up. You and your son will get through this. We are here as well. This forum has also been very helpful for me.

I use Herb Pharm Passionflower extract. You can get it off amazon or a local health food grocery store.
Herb Pharm Passionflower


#48

Hi Margi,

I’m sorry for what you are going through.
You are being bullied by this disease. Your son’s psychosis is terrorizing you. It’s no way to live.

You need to get away for a while. If you don’t have a friend or family member to visit, then drive somewhere scenic and stay in a motel.

I’ve lived w my husband who had paranoid sz for 15 years, and when things got out the of control, sometimes I just had to go for my own sanity. Luckily, I had family and a good friend nearby who could help.

Take care of yourself!


#49

Praying for you and your son


#50

@Margi
We care about you. Praying that things get better for you and your son. No one should have to endure this horrible illness that steals our loved ones from us.


#51

@Meileigh In response to your statement that the therapist had given up on him and that he was “firmly in denial”…I agree with what @hope said. Don’t give up on being able to communicate. Read the book “I Am Not Sick; I Don’t Need Help” and tweak it with your own ideas using the principles in that book. You know your child best, but I found it very challenging to change my mindset to realize that our son’s thought processes regarding his illness were NOT logical and I could not change that. You have to think differently to work with someone who cannot see himself as having an illness due to the illness itself. Our first psychiatrist did NOTHING to help offer ideas when our son stopped taking meds. The psychologist that our son liked and saw weekly for 7 months was helpful but he did not understand anosognosia. So all I can recommend is, TRY. Even small gains in trust are helpful and make me hopeful for a better future.


#52

Thank you for all your support. I’m not very good at writing. I don’t know how all of you can handle this illness. My son came to my mom’s house he wasn’t making any sense he was looking all over the house went in the shed took a broom then took a peace off the down spout and put it on the curb. When I showed up he said that I need to take all the metal and get rid of it. He said he has no socks my mom gave him 50 dollars then when he was leaving he asked me for $20. 00 for gas I also gave him that. Then he went to my house he started ranting then my husband told him to get the f out of his house or he would call the police. My husband is also bypoler. My son kept calling my moms place she is 90 and living alone. I had to tell him not to come over without calling first and she doesn’t want him to go through her house he hung up the phone on me. He’s got some strange delusions about steel. I just paid for a new steel roof for his house I just hope he doesn’t try and rip it down. I know this post was a little long but couldn’t help myself I’m just so beside myself I just don’t know what to do I’m just so scared.


#53

@Margi I am so sorry your son is having such a bad episode. Episodes can be very frightening. Many of us cannot get any help dealing with our family members when they are in crisis. I know you mentioned that you have panic attacks. Can you identify what you are the most scared of right now?


#54

Margi,

As far as your mom goes, I had the same experience when my mom was in hospice. I was with her at the time and just completely quit answering any calls (no contact). Some situations just have no room for compromise.

Read some passages from Amador’s book (I’m not sick…) to at least give you some verbal tools of what to say to him regarding his delusions. It helps to work with (for lack of a better word) the delusions rather than against them. You won’t win fighting them but trying to understand the reasoning behind them might help you see where he is coming from. In my experience, there is often a valid reason for them and when I try to understand, then it gives me a little something to work with while building trust.

I understand how frightened you are, been there many times. My son and I are in a much better place - and he is unmedicated - but it took me changing my entire thought process (and behavioral responses) when handling crisis situations.

Like others here said, get away for a bit, even if its only a day and do something that makes you happy. Hang in there…


#55

Thanks Holly I have read that book I will reed it again. How do I get him to stop putting everything in the garage he says yesterday he told me that most of his clothes aren’t his and to get rid of them. Then on the other hand he will tell me that people are coming into his place and taking all his stuff. He just gets very angry if I say it’s not true. He does things then doesn’t know he did it. Does your son live with you and how are you dealing with it. It seems to me that more men then woman have this unspeakable disease.


#56

Hope what I’m most afraid of is if the police have to come their going to hurt him or worse. They have already tazered him once and I never know what he’s going to do. As for family I’ m alone . I have only one sister she says he’s crazy and doesn’t want him around.


#57

I worry about that as well, there are so many true accounts of police hurting or killing a person with a brain disorder. I worry equally that my son will hurt someone during an episode.

When we have called the police to come to our home, we have to tell them that our son has a history of buying guns to protect himself. We are not currently aware of a gun in his possession, but still they must be warned. Its bad enough that my son has to have this awful disorder, I don’t want someone losing a member of their family to my son’s disorder.

They say just think it through when you are worried about a “what if”. I suspect whoever thought of that as a way to calm people down and make them think rationally wasn’t thinking about people who have an actual situation where all the bad things could happen.

Forgive me if you have already said so - do you know if your area has crisis intervention teams? Or a mental health officer? These people are specially trained members of police and sheriff’s departments who do their best to de-escalate situations with our family members.


#58

Margi,

Sorry if I missed this. Is he living with you? Is it your garage he is putting these things into or his? Does this cause a major problem? If not, then maybe let him move things if that makes him feel safe. Pick your battles.Try not to tell him that his delusions are not true, that places more distance between you and any trust. Maybe ask him what would make him feel safe and if his answer sounds strange to you but is not unreasonable, then consider letting him do it. That worked for me and now my son lives by the dining room table but its where he feels safe which brings his stress level down, eases psychosis, opens up communication, etc.

In the meantime, have you tried NAMI’s crisis line? https://www.nami.org/Find-Support/NAMI-HelpLine. When I reached out via the helpline, I felt very supported and that someone I could talk to cared about what was happening to me when nobody else had an inkling of what I was going through.


#59

Thank you so much for your advice I’m really going to try not to argue with him it’s just so hard to listen to what he is saying. My son has his own house I pay for everything. Every time he is delusional he ends up fleeing his house because it’s not safe then he ends up at my place. I’m going to call that help line. I really need to talk to someone. Does your son have any insight into his illness at all. My son has 0% insight that he has any illness.


#60

Hi @Margi Good advice to ask him what would make him feel safe. You can always come here and talk to us! Lots of good advice on this forum.