Son coming home after 6 mo in residential facility

My son does, but won’t verbalize anything. I talk about anything but the illness. He lives with it 24/7, so I try to keep our conversations to topics that interest him. I remind him how smart he is, what he is good at, hobbies that interest him.

The delusions can become so exhausting, I get that. I is very hard to be a constant listener. I can take about two hours at a time and then I tell him that I need some privacy for a bit and retreat to my room. He’s usually tired by then too and will find something to do, but then will come looking for me again.

He stays at his dads too and that is when I get the real breaks, but I have noticed that as he matures, he is able to accept my boundaries. He couldn’t do that a couple of years ago and I was really bad at boundaries. His dad was very good and so he was there for quite a while.

I’m exhausted all of the time, but I make sure to get sleep and my antidepressants really help. I’m not so emotional. This illness is so tough but take it day by day, or sometimes even hour by hour. It becomes a new normal.

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My son completed 2 residential programs in Atlanta. 6 months is not a long time. It doesn’t sound to me like he is ready to discharge if the program wants a “test release”. My child has denial as well but he has improved at every program (he is now in program number 3). He has been in a residential program or IOP/transitional living for 2 plus years now and it has taken all of this time, work, therapy, med work and patience for slow improvements to be seen. But he is getting better. We do not want him to come home until he has reached a point where we no longer question whether he is ready or not. The longer he can be in treatment, the better the outcome… sometimes you are just on pause to let time, meds, & therapy to work its course while he is cared for, monitored, safe and med compliant. Our son has not lived at home for 3 years and still is not ready for that step. He’s getting much closer, but not quite.

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I see you said you have read the book, but have you tried using the LEAP method to get your son to take medication? I know this is not an easy process, but It sounds like medication could be of benefit to him to help with the delusions. Bravo to you for establishing boundaries. We all need to learn how to do that so we can best help our loved ones.

No, we aren’t to that part yet, but the methods have helped me establish a very good relationship with him again to where he is able to accept my boundaries. We are having open and honest conversations which often end in one of us crying, but the trust is rebuilding after being the only one who though his hospitalizations were the right thing.

Having him take medication would be so ideal, but for right now I’m happy with how things are going and the fact that he is starting to think about some of my suggestions.

I understand, and that is a very good start! Like they say, “this is a journey and not a sprint”. I will be very nervous if and when we get the point of using the “Agree” and “Partner” parts of LEAP. Right now, the “Agree” for our son is really the default of being so sick that he doesn’t have the inclination to say “no” and is going along with the way things are done where he lives, and when he did have that inclination to say “no”, he had no where else to live without being homeless. However, I remain hopeful that he will eventually improve enough to enter a residential treatment program and will agree to stay on medication. Good luck to us!

For our son, the A part was important - he could relax with Agree to Disagree. When we first read Dr Amador’s book we had reached a crucial point as he would no longer talk to me. This was a few years before all the sexual delusions started up. I had to reopen communications by telling him that I had thought about what he said and I wanted to tell him that I didn’t think he was wrong, I just thought we needed to agree to disagree. He was happy and began talking with me again.

They are all so different, we really have to work to figure out what work’s best for our family member every step of the way,

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Dear oldladyblue, In this conservation I was wondering what (AT) means and Dx’d from wreklus, this conversation totally resonates with our family situation.
Thankyou & Warm Regards,
M46 :butterfly:

Hi @Maggie46 . What I meant was that at that time I wasn’t talking “to” my daughter, I was more talking “at” her. In other words, I wasn’t reaching her with my complicated ideas. I needed to keep things simple and real: food, drink, safe bedroom, etc. Nothing that was impossible for her to communicate about.

I think that @wreklus means “diagnosed” with the abbreviation Dx’d.

It is hard, this fight to get through to our loved ones. I hope your family situation is improving. Hugs to you.