My son was finally admitted today. He threw an air conditioner out the window, and was yelling loudly. The neighbors called police. Police and crisis center came (3rd time in a month). The social worker who came out this time was really good. Once she saw condition of his place, and throwing things… she agreed he had to be admitted. Thank God. Of course he was refusing, but police said either he go peacefully or they would force him. Thankfully he went peacefully. I pray he takes the help this time. I’m not sure where he will go when Discharged. He can’t live with us, and his place is essentially uninhabitable. But , one day at a time.
2 Likes
i do hope things go well for you and your son
2 Likes
Thank Gd he got committed , let’s hope and pray they will keep him there and get him better with meds . Hang in there !
2 Likes
I’m glad your son finally was admitted. Hopefully the beginning of a new chapter. Make sure to contact case manager or social worker at the hospital to let them know he needs place to go upon discharge. Otherwise they will pressure you to take him and tell you then have no place to send him. Give them heads up so they begin working on placement day 1 not day of discharge which can be much shorter time frame than you hope for. Hold strong, despite how difficult this is sounds like you had no other option. Been in your shoes and we’re in much better place now. Have hope.
2 Likes
Thank you. It will be hard to not bring him home. Especially when he starts begging. We are all he has and i don’t want him to feel rejected. But , the past has not worked for 12 years, and we need to try something else. I hate this damn disease.
I called Sun behavior and they " couldn’t tell me if he was there or not." HIPPA
But i told secretary I KNOW HE’S THERE. Please tell SW he will need housing placement. What we’ve been doing for 12 years isn’t working. He can’t come home this time.
We’ll see.
@Shallcro Thank you for sharing. Your son’s situation sounds very similar to what my adult daughter has been going through. She has been involuntarily hospitalized three times. The last time, both her case worker and the police came out to the house and were advocating she remain in treatment until a housing solution could be found. Unfortunately, the doctor at the hospital did not agree with all of us and started the discharge process once the doctor felt my daughter was stabilized.
I told the doctor that she could not come back home and the doctor told me that she would be discharged regardless. The only option was for her to be homeless and we all know how that will turn out, so she came back home and we are starting the cycle again.
What I have learned out so far…
Have the hospital ask your son if he would be willing to sign a medical release form allowing the hospital to share information with you. It will allow the staff to at least acknowledge to you that he is there and communicate a possible discharge date.
Ask his case worker to start the process of finding transitional housing or adult group home. There will probably be a long waiting list if any are available in your area, but its a starting point. And may have short term, emergency housing options for him.
Communicate with your local police about your son. The police in my area were able to put notes in their system about my daughter having a mental illness/crisis along with the emergency phone numbers to her case workers and crisis unit. That helped how the police responded and interacted with my daughter when they had to come to the house.
Unfortunately I have yet to find any long term housing solutions for my daughter and she is back at home until her next episode. I’ll post something if I find any new information.
Best of luck with your son. Your stronger than you realize.
4 Likes
Thank you so much for your information. My son will never sign a release… until he wants something. He is very manipulative, as most mental ill people are. My husband and I are determined not to have him come back home. We cannot go through what we have been for 12 years… It is so tough as a parent. I will pray for you.
3 Likes
as regards hwere your son is going to live when he gets discharged try getting him in to a group home for the mentally ill
I’m hoping they have something for him. Though i can’t imagine him voluntarily staying at a place. I haven’t heard a word from him or hospital. Worries me.
This just sounds soooo familiar, I just found this support group/discussion board, and tbh just seeing that other people are going through the same horror is a tiny but reassuring.
It’s always a relief when they finally get to a hospital, but it’s just always the same thing with us… this is my sister… They’ll stabilize her and DC her and she’s back at my parents house, where I’m living too just to HELP. We are at the same point you are… … she’s not going to take her meds, if we can’t get her into a supervised housing kind of situation through his/disability… I mean… It’s killing us. The screaming, the breaking things, the paranoia, the hallucinating… I totally understand. I hope your son comes out better and is more willing to stay on meds. If you have ANY advice as you go through this about how to find a place for him to stay… We cannot live with her, but if we kick her out…we’re worried she’ll overdose, she’ll disappear into the anonymous mentally ill homeless and we’ll never see her again. We are utterly at a loss. She has no case worker, she won’t sign consent for anyone else to deal with her medical stuff, and disability and HUD have been totally non responsive.
2 Likes
My son will never sign a release either. Very frustrating. I have been looking for other housing options for him and I cant find any in my area. Hope you have better luck. I am at my breaking point and don’t want him living with us anymore either. He scares me.
1 Like
I’ve been told that if they get released and have no where to go, (in my town) the hospital HAS to make sure they have adequate homes, rather it be a halfwayor homeless center. Just don’t accept them back into your home. It hurts but I’m no longer willing to suffer or put my young children at risk. NOT to mention the financial burden
Where do you live? Thats great. Delaware lets them out in street to fend for themselves
1 Like
In the south but we just shipped my brother to st louis to get help from dad.
You hit the nail right on the head.
Getting a loved one into the system is horrific for the family. Embarrassing as well because it may be neighbors or another community member that calls in authorities, but take comfort in knowing your son is in the system–there is help available to him, and there is a record that can be accessed by those who need to see it. For me, this is a prime example of where “It takes a village.” We need to redefine when we turn away versus when we can offer help. Sometimes family can’t make the appropriate call for an abundance of reasons, and it’s our neighbors who put an individual on the path to wellness. That’s something to honor and encourage! The Mentally Ill shouldn’t be “Othered,” they are always our children, our siblings, our cousins, neighbors and friends. Their brain chemistry is messed up. It is NOT their fault. They did NOT choose this.
Let’s work to be the solution. When and how we can. One day at a time.
Be strong and have faith, @Shallcro.
3 Likes
Elsa, SO TRUE. Sadly, my son has been hospitalized numerous times. I have ALWAYS said he could not come home and they never could find a home for him…so guess what? he came back home with me. This last time, I was firm and made it clear the second day of his 3 week stay that he could not come back to my home. It was hard. I never even requested any of the medical info, I wanted to appear “removed” to the social worker. It was difficult and heart wreching for me, but it worked. They did help find a place for him which they could never seem to do before.
1 Like
That must of been so hard, but you have to think of yourself. Have you heard from him?