Lately my son talks in different sounding voices than his own usual voice, speaking different sides to conversations in these voices. This is a lot different than the usual him talking back to the voices in his regular voice. I wonder if anyone else’s loved one experiences this. When he speaks to us he will also whisper an order like he is saying what he’s hearing out loud before he actually says it to us. Ex. he will whisper " Tell her you don’t want to go to the store" and then he will say to me directly “I don’t want to go to the store” I think he thinks we can’t hear the first part. He has zero insight and considers himself busy all day doing nothing but carrying on like this. He can get quite carried away.
He is on an extremely slow titration of a retrial of Clozopine. So far it’s not doing much but he hasn’t got any worse or had too many adverse affects. I honestly don’t know if it will help or if this is as good as it gets. My heart just breaks daily for him. He seems content to just go get a soda each day. I am usually able to get him to shower or some other hygiene if I take him for a soda. We do go out to dinner and for the first time in a long time we went to a movie and he sat through it. We were able to do this mostly because he hasn’t been pacing as much as before. He was talking most of the time but I was able to get him to whisper and the movie was loud so it was all good. I am just always looking for a spark of joy from him.
We don’t leave him alone at all. He’s supervised all the time. He has an opportunity for more services but refuses to sign any paperwork because he was told not to sign anything that comes his way he says. The very sad part is that he seemed like he wanted to do it. They would offer 3 services a week such as going out to get a soda or things he wants to do. He likes to go for drives, get soda or go to the store to get beverages that’s about it. We are considering conservatorship but concerned he will get very mad and at the current moment he is fairly manageable. 100% med compliant but those things can change at any time. He will be 21 soon and fixates on what he will drink and how he can stop meds to do it. He has Autism too so he can really fixate on this.
I know that for my son, he was titrated very slowly on his clozapine and though I saw small improvements, it took 6 months to see anything substantial. Very upsetting for me as I was for a long time, not sure if the med was helping him or not. Not sure from your post how long your son has been on this re-trial. By the year mark, the voices got much quieter…still there though and at this point we are coming up on the 2 year mark in May. Has now started engaging more with others. Nothing like he used to but is coming to the gym and saying hi to people that make the effort. He seems to be more at peace. The improvements happen so slowly that I sometimes miss them. Luckily I kept a bit of a journal so that I could look back on a few things and see what a difference a year and a half makes. My son has never said the commands he hears out loud to me but in the past has spoke to them while I was in the room.
He’s been on it this time for about 6 months as well. He’s only 75mg/day. The plan is to slowly get him to no more than 150. Nothing else has held him for very long. Clozopine had worked like a charm but he had seizures and arangulycytosis. He had to stop suddenly which spun him into a very rapid onset psychosis. A mix of seeing, hearing and delusions that he was responding to and interacting with physically all day. I was very skeptical to try it again but was suggested by more than one Dr. The other alternative being ECT which he refuses to do because he doesn’t see himself as suffering with a mental illness, he is busy in the spirit realm he says and we can’t understand that. I do need to be better about journaling. I’m terrible at that.
My son makes weird noises as if the voices are trying to come out of him. They are scarey and I’m very worried about him being that he is still having hallucinations, and hearing voices which tourture him, he wakes up every morning yelling, and screaming at the top of his lungs it’s not crying but yelling. His pdoc hasn’t been able to find anything to help him currently he’s on abilify, he was on zyprexa but that didn’t do much for him he was on it for many years. Idk what to do for him since he starts his crying spells in the middle of the day and wants my undivide attention, he’s 32 years old he got ill when he was 22 years old. I feel tired the majority of the time I feel like I’m going to have a nervous breakdown since his yelling,crying is overwhelming.