Meds help with the anger, but for me it helped to realize where my anger came from.
First, it came from frustration over lack of control. I didn’t ask for the disease, but it was causing me to lose control of my life. And people were telling me they knew better than I did and to do as they said. Then doctors told me to listen to them and take medication. Then even if I took the medication, it made me feel different-- as if I was losing control.
Second, it came from feelings of not being heard. I can’t tell you how many times I went over my complex delusional system with my mother and she didn’t understand it, or wouldn’t let me finish, and blew me off in other ways. And I’d get angry and start over from the top and increase the volume etc. It didn’t matter much that she didn’t believe me, I just wanted her to listen.
Third, it came from not being asked for my input on things that directly affected me. A combination of lack of control and lack of being heard. For example the first Psychiatrist I visited talked to me for about 10 minutes and after I said I wasn’t sold on medication and would like to take as little as possible, proceeded to prescribe six different medications. Well, I walked out of his office and didn’t see another Psychiatrist for over a year.
Eventually, I realized that my parents didn’t want me sick any more than I did. And they were doing the best they could as far as listening me, but were frustrated. And eventually they asked for my input as I calmed down and they learned they could trust my judgement about things that affected me. It’s a learning curve for everyone, and not everyone learns at the same rate.