As long as my mom is engaged in this world, and enjoying the relationships with family and friends, and not fearful for her life, then there’s no problem with her having a rich ‘other’ life. If it’s in addition to, rather than replacing, then it’s fine by me. As long as the voices are friendly, then it’s good company for her.
I mostly don’t remember dreams, unless it just upon waking … but when I do remember them, they are often vivid and compelling and very strange! It’s not good when I have something on my mind that is bothering me, because my brain works overtime at night, trying to find a solution to the puzzle. I wake up exhausted. I realize it’s happening, but can’t stop it. Most of my dreams are amusing in their strangeness, but once in a while I have what I call a nightmare — either something terrifying or simply unpleasant — and it’s always a relief to wake up and think ‘that wasn’t real’.
It broke my heart when my mother was hospitalized and envisioned snakes under the bed, trying to bite her — which felt very real to her. She was having psychosis, but they weren’t going to medicate her until Monday, when the advocate consulted her and got authorization. I was so frustrated and didn’t understand why they couldn’t just give her the medication that is legally prescribed to her.
Needless to say, it put me off forcing her to go to the hospital again (and certainly never on a weekend). I’m not saying that hospitalization wouldn’t be necessary if the paranoia becomes bad — but if it’s auditory and visual hallucinations that aren’t causing problems, there’s no need to put her through trauma. Having schizophrenia isn’t inherently bad, it’s the effects that cause misery — that are undesirable. Life is a balance, we have to appreciate the good and deal with the rest the best we can.
I’m off to bed (hopefully to have a restful sleep). Goodnight.