My daughter is starting to be more grateful for the little things as well… I am happy to hear her say even when things are going rough, “On the bright side…” And after seeing things so negatively for so long!
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Hey all, How am I today?
I don’t really want sympathy, but I have to say how I’m feeling, I’m not wanting to make anyone including you to feel bad. I’m feeling lossed.
My call to the psyc hospital, still waiting, just feel alone, waiting. No word yet about my son.
AnnieNorCal
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I cannot imagine the constant heartache of not knowing… so long for you since you even knew his whereabouts with certainty.
It is unfair that the justice system is not just…
At least you aren’t totally alone, we care about you on this forum. Your kind thoughts and advice to us has been very helpful.
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It IS sickening to see all the obstacles against our loved ones and us and to hear and read the sad stories. There ARE good stories, however. The people who are doing well are probably not on this Forum quite so much. There IS hope. One thing that helps me with this sometimes overwhelming struggle is that I subscribe to several different groups that advocate for mental illness issues and for research. I read and learn everything medically that I possibly can to help my loved one, as well as to learn about the “issues”. I would actually like to be more involved, but at least I can write to my congressional representatives. Several of these organizations make it very easy to stay apprised of legislature that is pending and they make it easy to write to my congressional representatives. We must make our voices heard. Who else will bring about change?
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My daughter will meet with the outpatient psychiatrist in April. The outpatient center is looking to hire a new doctor and if so, she might be able to see them sooner. Because it won’t be until April, they wanted to have her see her regular doctor to discuss her meds before then.
At this point she is also going to the outpatient therapist at the hospital, as well as the therapist she had been going to befor her hospitalization… I think it is because of the unique situation her first therapist is in:
Her first therapist is has a license in clinical therapy in North Carolina and has been working to get her license in New York. But because she has a degree from a conservative Christian college, New York is refusing her license at this time, because they think she might not be “objective” enough! She still has the same qualifications, but NY is not recognizing it! This happened after we starting using her for my daughter. She asked my daughter if she still wanted to see her or go with a different counselor. Since my daughter bonded well with her, we continued with her.
So the hosptial’s outpatient center view her as more as providing spiritual guidance. I am glad that they still consider this as part of my daughter’s treatment because this does provide some continuity.
My daughter also likes the outpatient therapist as well. And this is important to my daughter because she won’t trust any one in the medical field unless she gets along well with them.
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Last night my daughter came out of her room in tears because her best friend, who also deals with mental illness, went to the hospital because her meds were not working as much as they could… she was worried for her friend… we thought of visiting her friend, but remembered that my daughter is not supposed to go back to the psych ward until at least a month after her own hospitalization unless necessary. She was able to text her friend while she was still waiting to be checked in…
Well as you all know, I have been back and forth with my son, between the state hospital and the court. waiting word about his whereabouts. Finally found out he is back at the judicial system. I know my situation is complex and different than most of yours. Not knowing where my son is and having to search for him is causing such anxiety. Terrible restlessness and lack of sleep. The most ridiculous thing is my husband seems unaffected by all of this and acts like nothing is wrong. That’s my perception anyway, talking to my partner is really hard.
AnnieNorCal
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My feet are sore from walking on egg shells.
Apparently something, and I still am not sure what it was, I said triggered a trust issue. I sort of wish they had a light on their forehead that would blink red when we enter dangerous dialogue so I could stop talking.
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“Danger, Will Robinson!” (I know I am showing my age) 
I am not always alert to nonverbal cues… but one time I was talking to my daughter about colleges… this was when we picked up her from one of her therapy sessions… and the therapist picked up on a look of panic in my daughter’s eyes… and quietly brought it to my attention… “Maybe we aren’t ready to talk about that just yet”
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Trust with a counselor is important! And the fact that your daughter showed compassion for her friend, the fact that she has a person in her life that she considers a friend, is probably a good sign! We had a similar situation recently and our son called me, very distraught, over another person where he lives who was having suicidal thoughts. I was able to calm him down, as appropriate personnel were present and de-escalating the situation. When they can recognize serious mental illness in another person, I think it helps them accept the reality of their own illness and to hopefully, accept treatment/medication.
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LOL. I love it! And no worries about showing your age–I watched the originals.
And yes watching non verbal clues are helpful but sometimes you just never know.
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Especially at a time just before my daughters hospitalization when she was not capable of showing emotion! When she started on haldol, she said she could “feel” again.
And I know of people who don’t always show appropriate nonverbals because of their illness… they may have been in a manic state…
At some point, for some of us, we realize that our family members are on a entirely new scale for success. For most of our family members, the usual timelines just can’t apply.
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For me and my daughter… I am starting to feel like each day she can get through is a success! One day at a time…
Of course when she graduates from high school…
That will be a huge success for her! Then we we take it one step at a time from there…
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You and your daughter have such a good attitude - accepting and trying to figure out what will work. What a good environment for success!
At Family to Family they taught us that stress makes their symptoms worse - and everything causes stress, even happy stuff.
For some of us, its hard to understand how some times can go so well for them when other times they struggle to get out of bed. My friend said her son, who was like your daughter and willing to take meds, took meds for nearly 4 years before he had a desire to do something. She said she just waited it out. He wanted to return to college. She supported him fully and pointed out that step one was getting dressed each day. She said getting him out of his comfortable slippers was not easy. Eventually they worked their way up to him joining her on errands to practice leaving the house.
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my daughter doesn’t always like sleeping in her own room, because it is an upstairs room that sometimes can make a lot of noise especially on a windy night… pretty common thing… that is why my nickname on here is windyhill… my other daughter set up a cot in her ground floor room in case her sister wants to come in and sleep in her room too… We are also thinking of asking my son who is college if he wouldn’t mind switching rooms with his sister…
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We always tried to adjust whatever we could to make our son’s days easier. We built a garage apartment on top of a second garage on our property because he was so paranoid about his dad. I felt so badly for my son after he moved out when I saw all the earplugs scattered around his bedroom. He was doing everything he could to not hear the voices. He has anosognosia, to him the voices are real. He told us it was cruel that we would not allow him to sleep. He believes we are the voices tormenting him.
I do believe that the couple of years he spent out there not having to work and not having anyone monitor his day, did help him figure out what he wanted to do and how he could do it. He knew he didn’t want to live by us and he desperately wanted to work.
I know his struggle is not over, but he is working hard to make his life work on his terms.
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Well, forgive me for another post that has nothin to do with nothin.
Just wanted to put some words out there as a form of my own therapy. Feel free to ignore.
I’m almost done with my temp status at work.
My managers assure me that they intend to hire me directly by the end if April. As always, I hope for the best and prepare for the worst. And should the worst happen, I have already prepared myself in as many ways as possible. I’m entering the “wait and see” period, which is about as stressful as a thing can be.
I am confident that I will be hired directly, there is no reason or evidence that it wouldn’t happen. I’ve done everything I can to establish myself as a necessary part of my team.
If things go as planned, I will be able to accrue vacation and sick time again among other things. But those are the big items for me.
I have spent most of my working life without either of those things. I am okay with working hard and having few days off, but I am at a stage in my life where time off is just as valuable as a reliable paycheck. I do need both.
I temporarily gave up those things for the opportunity to get more of both and to get myself away from the excessive overtime and unlivable night schedule I had been living before.
Many sacrifices, many calculated risks to get myself where I am.
Thank God for the opportunities! I have much to be grateful for!
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@wreklus, If sharing “nothing to do with nothing” has a therapeutic benefit for you, then by all means…
We’re all trying to stay afloat.
Wishing you luck with your job prospect.
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Congratulations, wreklus! I am also a temp and know how unreliable and scary it can be to have an uncertain income. I hope this new opportunity works for you and that you are happy and have relief. Thank you for letting us know. I think it’s great and important. I would take you out to dinner to celebrate if I could. Virtual hugs!
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