Hi Irene. Sorry for the delay in response, asking how my son is doing. Thank you for asking.
My 22 year old son just had his 12th monthly injection of Invega Sustenna. Things change, day-by-day, but the majority of the days are manageable. I don’t work in the summer, so it’s easier to keep things as stress=free as possible, but the littlest things can still set things off.
Every day, I wake up with a bucket of patience. On some days, the bucket is empty by mid-afternoon. On other days, I go to bed with something left in the bucket. A calm existence really makes a big difference in my son’s mental state. That said, things can get pretty rediculous around here, regardless of how hard I try.
If I was to compare last year at this time to this year at this time, it’s like night and day for our son. Steady and high dosages of medication have made a world of difference. Our son is clearly mentally ill and not who he was supposed to be, and that breaks our hearts, but he’s more at peace. We all are, at least for today. I so wish that for you and your son.
I can relate to this except it is with my husband. He did so well for four to five months and now he is back in the hospital again…second time since December and about the um-teenth time over the last 4 or 5 years. This was the longest he lasted…he was doing so well and decided not to take his medication again. I, of course, wasn’t aware of this until he started not acting right. They took his blood yesterday and there is no medication in his system. I guess he thought he was better and stopped taking the meds not realizing the meds are what is making him better. I visited him tonight and he still isn’t better and it’s been 4 days. Every time this happens, I feel robbed. I feel robbed of my husband. I feel he is robbed of the life he once had…one that didn’t consist of delusions, voices, depression and the revolving door of state mental institutions. I feel my sons pain every time my husband is taken out of the house by the psyche team accompanied by the police…I see his tears and it just absolutely breaks my heart. When they came the other day, my son just went in his room, shut the door and cried. He is only 12 and has been going thru this with his Dad since he was 7 or 8.
I have become a little tougher, my skin a little thicker with every episode, but I still struggle with it. I have learned not to wait to get him help like I have in the past. And when they come to get him, I open my mouth right in front of him and don’t care how angry he gets at me. It’s all par for the course.
But what bothers me most, is the broken feeling I get. I see him in the hospital and I see a broken man. I wonder if he is aware of how sick he is and how much it has affected our family. I wonder if he thinks about how things were before SZ. I wonder if he thinks about how he used to be before SZ. Besides seeing my son broken hearted, this is what bothers me the most…how aware is he and does he know how sick he is? It just breaks my heart. So yeah, I think we are all robbed!
Hang in there! I’m sorry you are going thru this as a teenager…i can relate to this as my father became SZ when I was 12 or 13. My son, who is 12 has been going thru this with his Dad since he was 7 or 8. I find your post inspiring and I’m going to show it to my son so that he knows he is not alone. Thank you so much for sharing!!!
I sometimes lament my son may not marry, have children or a life with a great job. He is 28 and med compliant, also my wife and I have guardianship and conserveship(sp) of him. My wife is not his mother, but loves him deeply. He lives with us and is one of the most caring, thoughtful peaceful persons I know.
I love him with a love unbounded. After 7-8 years of seeing PSZ take what was my son, I have read, learned, listened and acted on everything we thought was the right thing to do. This journey is not perfect. Love and caring will always defeat the dark grasp PSZ has on these young people.
Medication, counseling, a secure environment and Love.