I told my son that social security office will check to make sure he’s going to his doctor and he has to be on medication to get it. “They can check and find out if you stop taking meds, and if you’re not on them the money will stop.” Huge incentive for him.
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You’re doing what needs to be done. Psychosis can be damaging to their brain, and they don’t know that or believe it. Maybe you will find a way to never have to tell him, but at the same time get him to agree to take it. Us moms find ways…
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Isn’t this the most awful thing? Sometimes I just have to think of all you other moms and dads going through the same, and it gives me comfort that I’m not alone.
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The suggestion to 'build up the file" and involve crisis workers (or CIT officers) is excellent. This will provide good evidence of what is happening, and get another set of eyes on the situation. Just be careful not to indicate any crime or violence may have taken place.
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Excellent point. The record you build up lasts.
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I started a daily diary at the beginning of the month.
What he’s taking, how he’s acting, how he’s sleeping, general mood, specific delusions - or even if it was a good day or we went somewhere.
It’s help me look back & see what’s working and what’s not, and if he’s made any progress.
I should have done it a long time ago.
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Well said Catherine. Thank you.
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I think that is so wise. Hope your day is good.
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The diary is a very good idea, I did that with my son in the beginning and shared it with his doctor (discretely) and it went a long way toward choosing the right medications and dosages.
Long acting injections given monthly maybe?
If only that could happen. I was hoping for it when he went into the hospital for quitting his meds, but apparently he was very compliant when he was inpatient.
He has a case manager that really wants him on the injections, and I hope she can talk him into agreeing.
So far, I’ve managed to get the meds in him consistently for 17 days. He’s calmer, but the delusions are persistant.
We went to see the case manager today. She gave me paperwork to fill out to get him on disability, so he can get medicade or medicare (can’t remember which), so he can get into the intensive program there - apparently, they don’t take private insurance. It sounds like they’re going to push it through quickly somehow.
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I am very happy to hear that your son is stable. Hopefully, The delusions will get better. That is one of the reasons I helped my son to apply for disability. We have private Insurance(BlueCBlueS). I need a caseworker for my son and they don’t pay for a CW, so if he’s approved, He will get Medicaid. Plus, We have to help him pay the bills that our insurance wouldn’t cover. He owes about $3000 in hospital bills from the times he was admitted in the hospital along with ambulance bills. It’s crazy! Hug to you.
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Hi,
I am so very sorry you and your family are on this journey. On the most difficult days, I remind myself , all of us here are blessed to be tasked with caring for such special souls.
I am by no means an expert (nor religious person ), but as a mom of a young adult son with schizoaffective/bipolar/poly substance abuse I can tell you what I have learned in the past two years.
Slipping his meds in with his other supplements will only increase his paranoia and distrust once he finds out that is what you have done- and he will find out. He will not understand your good intentions because of his thought disorder. It sounds as though he does not have insight yet into the medication-no symptoms connection, and that is key to ‘recovery’. He need to learn that is how he stays out of the hospital and healthy.
I personally have found that bribing, in the end does not work- I have use cigarettes , phone data…I have kick my son out for not keeping up his end of the bargain- going to treatment and taking meds…twice…each time it was a disaster- the system is not equip here in NY to deal with that type of tough love. ( either is my heart )
Going in to any type of military training, I suspect, would increase his stress and potentially trigger his symptoms, possibly making things worse.
Though option 3 is very hard, it is the only way I have maintained MY sanity. Learning to ‘Let go and let God’ is a really tough one, but , when they have had enough of the hospital, loss of friends, loss of what is important to them…it starts to click. Though watching your love one fall prey to the illness is not fun or with out damage.
If WE could CONTROL this we would not have forums or support groups, because someone would have figured out what to do and we would all be following it - there is no control here, for us. They are truly the only ones in control of this.
My son was very noncompliant to the point where one doc said - I am done treating you…his turning point was finally agreeing to an injectable medication along with the 2 other by mouth that he only takes at night after his last 3 week hospitalization(which of course we were to blame for - we ‘send him there and demand they keep him’) This has proven to be a great option for him - he has been out of the hospital for 8 months with one trip to crisis due to his drug use which worsens his delusions , hallucinations and put him in a tail spin…which he is starting to connect the dots but refuses to believe it is an issue ( inhalant abuse and weed )
I know that allowing him to own the consequences of not taking his meds ,not attending a scheduled appointments, pay his bills, not maintain his car, or not shower for a week have allowed him to take ownership of his future. I have told him we will always help- with our advise, even when we do not agree with his decisions, We are also not going to be around forever- so he has to learn to depend on himself and other supports out there and that means take care of himself…this is going to take longer than the average bear, so we have to start sooner rather than later.
.AND - we are allowed to live OUR lives.
Again, this is my own personal insight and by no means a magic wand, but I hope it help you realize you are NOT alone and we are all here to “listen” and share our experiences freely in the hope with it eases someone else’s burden.
Hugs to all of us
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Thanks for your input. I think I’ll eventually get where you are, but I’m just trying to hold him together until they can get him into the intensive treatment program.
He has to get on disability to qualify, and they explained to him yesterday that social security would require him to be in active treatment and take meds, and that they’d like him to move from his current psychiatrist to one at their location, and he agreed.
Hopefully, he meant it - he’s has a passive aggressive thing where he agrees to things, then just quietly does whatever he wants anyway. I can always believe him when he says no, but yes’s and maybe’s are very iffy.
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What kind of disability is your son applying for? SSI does NOT require active treatment and meds, it only requires documented disability.
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I should rephrase it - In “I’m not sick, I don’t need help”, the book suggests that you find reasons for your loved one to take the meds, even if they don’t have insight.
He has said he wants to get disability in the past so that he can maybe be more independent, and move out when he’s able. We can provide for his needs at home, but we can’t afford to pay for an apartment or whatever else he would need.
I suggested to the case worker that it would be a good way to get him thinking about it.
He’s also concerned that his memory isn’t as good as it could be, and that he has problems organizing his thoughts. So those are other things that would appeal to him.
However, I have read that social security does require you to be in treatment to get approved. I’ll have to look for it and share. You know how it is with that stuff - you ask 5 different people, you’ll get 5 different answers.
EDIT: The SSA does not say they will not approve you if you don’t take meds, but common legal advice says that if you’re not in treatment or you don’t take prescribed meds, it could reduce your chances of getting approved. I’m guessing it would not be PC for the SSA to say they would turn you down, but my guess is that they will look for any reason to do so, especially since the right medication could mean someone could return to the workforce.
Either way, I’ll take it as a reason someone can use to convince him he should take them.
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The meds are the only answer that is going to help him. Unfortunately if he refuses to take it, the next time he admitted to the hospital have him mandated to take his meds, and they have shots, he can get once or twice a month or pills that dissolves on the tongue. In New York they have an ACT team that may get involved , if he qualifies and they will monitor him. Look into it.
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I think this new intensive treatment program is like ACT - they can do injections, they have a dedicated psychiatrist, they can even send people out to the house for med management and other stuff.
They’re trying - it’s just slow going, and I’m trying to hold him together enough to get him in there.
His case manage wants him on the shot, and I agree, but he won’t do it for me - they’re going to have to convince him.
I ordered some of the Sarcosine - he’s agreed to try it. In fact, he’ll try anything that’s not a psychiatric med.
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I know in the SSI application, it is important to list all the different meds they have been prescribed, I think it asks for dates, Doctors, dosage and diagnosis. I save every one of the discharge forms because it is on there. I would give them the patient ID as well. They will follow up on every one of these. When they see several instances of hospitalization or doctors, and the medicine they used to treat, it makes the case for them.
It does not unfortunately tell you which meds they tried in the hospital. You would have to obtain hospital records for that info. I think this is valuable info to know so you don’t go down that road again if it was unsuccessful.
On the positive side, I saw where there are currently 20 different NEW medicines for Schizophrenia. Can you believe it? I hope that is a good thing.
So interesting bc my husband has started with the military nonsense as well. I’m gonna be a cop, I’m gonna be a navy seal, I’m going into the army.
I studied sociology in college not that I’m any kind of professional but thinking about it do you think this desire for the military lifestyle from some of our loved ones is a subconscious desire for help in controlling their lives? A clue that theybrealize they are not as in control of themselves as they could be? Maybe they secretly want to be forced to take their meds bc then they don’t have to accept their diagnoses? But still benefit from the meds?
Idk I’m just wondering where those thoughts stem from
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