So I’ve left my job, committed myself to my son and his illness, and now he is home from his second hospitalization and refuses to take his medication and is smoking weed when I’m not looking. He is nineteen and hates taking meds ( which I understand) and still does not think he has this illness. I am fighting this on my own. He absolutely does not want to get better.
He wants to get a job, but can’t focus long enough or give me what I need to make a resume. He blames me for not having a job because I haven’t made a resume but yet no matter how much I ask, he never gets me the info I need. He wouldn’t get a job anyway. His hair hasn’t been washed in a year, nor his teeth brushed, and his fingernails are very long. I buy him nice clothes which are the only clean thing on his body. I play along with the job thing knowing he could not hold down a job. Just thinking it will motivate him but he has no motivation. He’s on 20mgs of Zyprexa and is a zombie, plus sneaking the pot. I have an appointment with his psychdoc tomorrow. He can’t stay on that high dose of Zyprexa.
I go to NAMI, visited him everyday in the hospital, got them to let me bring him special food, find special therapy appointments ( music tomorrow), live on the internet researching this, getting him on Medicaid and SSI, and so many other things. I am so tired. This all seems so hopeless.
So, do I keep making these attempts to help my son who on absolutely no way wants help or do I just let go until he gets to a point where he realizes he needs help?
Wow, I can’t believe he’s actually blaming you…but it wouldn’t be the first time I was in a panic and wanted to find someone to blame… it was when I was very psychotic and my inner world started to bleed out into the real one. That’s a tough feeling, which can lead to substance use. I would really get real with him, and just call him out on a few things and maybe become a certified caretaker and actually get paid to help him out you know?
It’s too bad that they don’t yet have a better med for us at this time but it’s just a matter of time. There is no cure for old age yet either.
Zyprexa is not the right medication for a young adult to be on anyway because of that zombie effect it has, ( I was on it for a few years ) especially, on a person struggling to form a personality still. This whole world needs miracles to cure it.
I also have a son and he is 29 and also won’t get off the weed. Weed and meds don’t mix.
My son gets a shot every month invega sustenna. Why don’t you try and get his doctor to do this.
My son also would not take his medication on a daily basis either.
The problem I am having are his mood swings which are getting worse by the day.
Sounds like you have done a great deal to support your son. I agree that the zyprexa dose sounds a lot. That could definitely zombie him out. Am also concerned about the weed as well - especially if he is skipping meds.
Your active role in his care is very commendable - it must hurt to see your son in this condition. All I can add is maybe he could try a different anti-psychotic. Unfortunately this process can be hit and miss. So it can take time to find a med that helps without having too many side effects.
Nineteen year old kids can be very headstrong. Let your son know you won’t be there forever. There is a limit to the amount of help you can give him. They have long lasting, time released shots of different med’s, which are good if a person is non-compliant. If they can’t find one of those that suits him, maybe you can give him another one long enough to keep him stable enough to realize he needs medications. He’s lucky to have a mother who cares as much as you.
I agree. I feel like advancements are made very often and I feel confident that something will come along. I am very interested in the Invega injection. He hates needles but has had to succumb to them during his hospitalizations so I think this could be a possible option. He starts with a new therapist in Friday who sounds promising to me. I never give up hope. I just want my slack-lining, skateboarding, amazing little drummer/musician back. I miss him so much…
Thank you. And not to be negative, but I won’t be here forever. I had an aggressive cancer at 38 years old and it is predominant in my family. The truth is, I may not be around as long as I’d like but would like to know that he will be able to care for himself if/when that time comes and not homeless, cold, and living on the streets. I would like him to try the Invega injection. Going to bring it up to his psychdoc tomorrow. Thanks for your support. I can’t imagine any mother who wouldn’t do the same.
Nineteen is young. It took me six hospitalization a before I stopped smoking weed and took my meds. Don’t lose hope. I’m 25 and just got another job (i have two now) and may have found a girl and I now finally appreciate how much my family has done for me. We have great relationships now. Hopefully the process is quicker for your son but don’t give up. Eventually he will come to an epiphany on it all and realize what he can and can’t do. Keep praying. Not trying to dictate your patience just telling you about my experiences.
Sorry to hear your son not doing too well, ugh. My son was originally put on Zyprexa and although it leveled his psychosis out, it did make him zombie-ish and he didn’t like it either.
Looking back at our previous 5 years, It seemed that things would start spiraling out of control acct non-compliance & pot/drug use, then hospital and/or jail, then we would start the process all over again, forever hopeful though. I look at it like each catastrophre was a stepping stone to get us where we are today. We are still not there yet, may never be, but better than before.
I’m glad to read that you may consider Invega Sustenna injection. The manufacturer does have a great coupon to help cut the cost, btw.
I know I’m not being much help, just letting you know I sympathize what you’re going through. So hang in there Mom. I can tell by your posts that you will never give up:)
If it’s toward the “dysfunctionally rescuing” – as opposed to “functionally supporting” – end, you may want to make some changes. Some sz pts are the way they are in part because a parent or two are too engaged.
This is not an accusation, just a recommendation from one who had to learn about his own inclinations.
Zyprexa is terrible. I’d look into generic abilify.
From what you said though its hard to give any more advice. If he’s functioning well enough to smoke pot and have a good time on it… then he doesnt sound that bad off.
Is he just delusional? Does he have hallucinations?
Is he the disorganized type?
Sound like he needs more than anything the hope that he can become independent and lead a full life. He has to want that though.
I don’t know, there are so many characteristics, may I definitely identify with, and many I do not. It would be nice if there was a test to take. It’s kind of like when I’m at a NAMI meeting and we are talking about the characteristics of our loved ones with mental illness. I, and others, always say “gosh, I have many of those characteristics.”
I watched his onset slowly happen but I didn’t know it was happening. He is my oldest and I just thought he was rebelling. Smoking pot, losing things, minor car accidents, didn’t like me or his dad, that sort of stuff. I though he would mature out of it. Then he quit showering, or changing clothes. I slowly watched it happen so it’s hard for me to claim that I may codependent. He’s my son. I just feel like I can stop this but I am also realistic that maybe I can’t. I may not be able to save my child, but that won’t happen until I’ve tried all that I can, and then some.
Fucking pot. Insidiously evil drug. Everything seems all peachy keen while it slowly dissolves reality and slips psychosis into place… It took me a while to see through it and climb out of that pit. Hopefully your son will straighten out soon and give you a break.
I know, right? And I live in Colorado. The nurse at the hospital calls them “these boys”. “These boys” who at the age of eighteen can get a medical card which gives them access to extremely high concentrations of THC. “Some boys” can smoke it and be fine, but others lose to psychosis, and Bam! we’re building another mental clinic because we don’t have enough flipping beds in this state. But God forbid you say anything bad about pot because Joe Stoner who can smoke a jay before work has no problem other than munchies and lunchtime naps and thinks us “anti-pot” people are lunatics. Well, I’m not anti-pot. I’m anti- 80% THC wax dabs.
Thanks. He does want that. At least he used to. His diagnosis is Schizophrenia, Undifferentiated type. Definitely disorganized type, though. Heavy on the negative symptoms, but no voices, which I find odd. He is delusional but not sure about the hallucinations. During therapy, there almost is a suggestion by the therapist. “Do you hear voices?” No. “So, you don’t hear voices?” Well, maybe. I’ve seen that happen before to him.
He’s a sweet kid. He dislikes me because I’m the only one around anymore. His dad, sister, and other family members have bailed, but are slowly coming back. His cousin read a blog that I write and told me of his Major Depressive Syndrome and Personality Disorder. It made me feel better that he opened up.
Thanks, again. You all help me so much. Even the parts that are hard to hear…
