Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Warm affectionate boyfriend (help?)


#1

My boyfriend has told me he has schizo., and I do see a lot of the signs. Odd comments, odd beliefs, easily overwhelmed. What I can’t figure out is this- he’s warm, affectionate, loving… How can this be?


#2

I do not know, but sounds that you should keep him. I am quite opposite.


#3

If he’s on his meds… in therapy… has a good support system… he’s just like anyone else.

Please don’t call us schizo.

It sounds like you might need to read up on Schizophrenia… sort of get the flavor of this illness…

www.schizophrenia.com - the FAQ section and the Symptom overview will give you some insight to symptom management and how your boyfriend can make it through his day.

www.nami.org is another one full of information.

Glad your BF is stable…


#4

It was so brave to tell you he has a condition that he cannot control.

I hope you won’t blame everything he does on it.

Keep on luvin’.


#5

’ schizo '…mmmm…that name won’t go down to well with some on here…just a thought.
as for your boyfreind being ’ affectionate '…
that is odd…
we are normally born out of the womb as axe murdering nutters :chestnut: …lol :smiley:
get educated
get informed
be supportive
take care :alien:


#6

I said schizo to abbreviate, it certainly wasn’t meant derogatory. I have nothing but respect and admiration for him and am so proud of what kind of person he is; so again I didn’t mean it the way it apparently sounded.

I’ve been a nurse 17 years and have read fanatically about this condition for the last 3 months that we’ve been talking.

What I read and how he acts doesnt match up. I wondered if it could be something else such as schizotypy.
Thanks


#7

We go through sometimes several diagnoses before getting it right, there is no test yet to determine schizophrenia.


#8

Because he’s still a human being?!?

Pixel.


#9

this makes me sad because of the stigma associated with schizophrenia. we can love others, we can be good people. we can have passions and interests and goals. and we have character. his is warm, affectionate, and. loving. regardless of whether or not he has a mental illness. sure, symptoms can cause people to act unlike themselves, but it shouldn’t surprise you when his true colors shine through. like others said, I hope you learn a little more about the myths associated with schizophrenia.

I wish you and your boyfriend the best of luck xx


#10

I’m all those things and still schizo :alien:


#11

Schizophrenia does not always mean what the “professionals” think it means. They simply observe what we experience and record OUR experiences like they actually know what we experience, which they don’t.

Dr. Fred Frese is a psychologist with schizophrenia and he is a professor of psychiatry and also an advocate for mental health awareness and recovery. Elyn Saks is a law professor and wrote a book about her life with schizophrenia, it is incredible.

We are not these symptoms. Sure, you might be educated about symptoms and “typical behaviors” of us, yet we are human just as you are. We are people who have schizophrenia, not schizophrenics.

I suggest you quit wondering how or why he is well and appreciate his company. The docs probably have him on a religious medication and therapy regiment.


#12

Alright, I originally didn’t want to reply to this, but I’ve changed my mind. I’ve been with my wife for over 6 years. We’ve had a few issues, but nothing catastrophic. Most of it was my doing. Sometimes I can be a bit petty. But we love each other and work out our issues. Be thankful your boyfriend is warm and affectionate. Often times that can be considered a rare trait when you examine the general human population and today’s modern pop/sex culture. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

I like what @mortimermouse said…we are people with schizophrenia, not schizophrenics…to paraphrase. I am not defined by this illness. It’s just a disorder of the brain. Like a diabetic with a wonky pancreas, we have a wonky brain. That doesn’t make us nonhuman. I am my wife’s second husband (and she happens to be my second wife), and we both think we are better matches than our respective previous partners. In fact, our exes are quite similar and we joke they should have met each other first. Even down to their mutual dislike of cheese. How do you not like cheese!!! But I digress. Do you understand the point I’m trying to make?

I firmly believe all people are created equal. Many schizophrenics, nay, almost an overwhelming percentage, are disenfranchised by life’s circumstances. Many are homeless, in prison/state hospitals, etc.

One thing that I don’t think I’ve ever seen discussed on these forums is what about all the HIGH-functioning schizophrenics who are NOT on this site? What you see on here is a thin slice of the sufferers in the world.

Love your boyfriend. He sounds like a wonderful PERSON.


#13

I hear voices And thought broadcasting! Those are my only symptoms, the others are caused by the meds.


#14

I always enjoy your response. .like reading them…thank you


#15

He was older when symptoms started probably…The younger males who were teens when symptoms started were terrorized and not very sociable or well adjusted. Many did not do okay in high school so lower functioning due to mental torture & social problems. Many more were caught in college after socializing with the wealthy students…is horrible problem & covered up by govt.

Common stuff includes:

Just love him anyway and understand why he gets stressed easily. If you want to read up on Targeted Individual, cause stalking, gang stalking, thought insertion, persecution delusion, V2k… If your man explains he met someone bragging about hurting people or doing illegal stuff, then he suffered a nervous breakdown & strangers started to bother him, then voices, you will find another story to schizophrenia. There are lots of stories on this website that are similar, but more often from ex-wives of wealthy, unwilling mistresses, sex abuse victims and business/college rivals.

Look at all these stories under these terms & love your man with an open mind if you can respect him without calling him mentally ill. Some of the part-time psychosis victims follow orders from voices and will harass other schizo victims or worse, mess up coworkers/relationships, vandalisms, thefts…Things are much worse in some cities when churches make a mission to harass a lot of people who are on disability payments after mental care and consider it preach stalking, a form of cause stalking…This is sign city has some pretty bad job situations when you are working with someone this mentally unstable and it will cause a lot of financial damages to business and business bankruptcies. There is a lot of anger from people who have mental problems themselves and there is no aid from local disability office for mental problems… Some cities really have whole system of scams to fall prey too and some parts of the country are REALLY BAD so would not consider a move to anywhere alone unless you know the area and would only move as couple if you know a local.

If your man said he had an argument with someone wealthy or met one bragging about harming people, you just quit talking to anyone you met through the group, do not talk about the issue, do not talk aloud to self/follow orders from voices and sometimes psychosis symptoms get better in 2-3 years. If you get stalked by members of the group, just say ‘no thank you’ and keep walking…these usually stalk. Also REALLY good to know, when he moves he will have a lot of the community’s part-time psychotics say hello by saying something off to him for 3-4 months at least after a move, so expect it. Sometimes he will be told stuff about working in the community by strangers talking to themselves as they walk by so can be helpful. If he gets confronted by big group of teens in threatening manner, called ‘gang stalking’ you are in the wrong neighborhood and need to leave as it can be unsafe. Safe response is NO ANSWER – choose most expensive area you can afford or a long ways into suburbs of cities to avoid it. Little towns are actually worse than cities so would ONLY consider it if you know a local as some towns were repeatedly screwing some people who answers ads to work in country.

Mental care has severe limitations just due to policy. They will not discuss any of this social stuff that happens, calling it delusional. They can help him sleep, seroquel is a nice drug at bedtime to help with persistent insomnia. You can NEVER get upset with mental care or he will be forcibly hospitalized at your own expense for as long as doctor can justify if you ever get confrontational with the care. If things are not working with the psych doctor, switch care. If he seems to be PTSD case with memories returning, this can happen after living alone while spending time in company of wealthy people up to wrong thing…You may run across some psych doctors who call this a ‘false memories’ situation. I HIGHLY recommend you change psych doctors as sometimes this approach will insist on therapy & if the patient does any complaining, the social harassment will grow worse enough to ruin work, school or neighborhood. Whatever/whomever is the focus of these lost memories should be avoided, and expect more memories to surface but sometimes in a helpful way as a story was shared years ago with a warning like not living in a specific city with this problem…Of course, this memory does not return until you moved there because it is only meant to be sick joke.

In my opinion, it is VERY helpful to just identify a thought broadcaster or psychotic stalker & never really focus on what is said or even talk about it…You just give it more power. Sometimes group of 3-4 sits at restaurant and harasses a psychotic diner at next table, just consider it one of Gawd’s good little sniveling creatures. NEVER SPEAK UP unless you are living in small town. Sometimes, this is all church is about as some churches have lots of people who are psychopathic and real 180 degree creature. Keep your distance from anything wrong there.

Also VERY helpful to know, some people who are part-time psychotic will have voices start if you try to live in an apartment & share walls. "These can be very disruptive. So unfortunately, a lot of the low end apartment complexes are keeping these mentally unstable thugs and tolerating the disruption so you will be better suited to sharing a duplex after talking to neighbors or a detached house. Older neighbors are a relief because they usually will not act like a psycho nut while the younger folks under 35 are so frequently a mental case, some employers make it a rule never to hire these and just let them work fast food/retail where they bother customers.

In some cities, churches promise relief from voices. So unfortunately, it is usually a healing circus show, person’s wallet is checked and thrown back onto the street but harassed by more people who sometimes won’t even let the victim alone for years, affecting their ability to work. The people who stay in these churches are following voices orders from dirty businessman who runs a lot of the larger non-denominational churches like anti-christ situation and these cannot leave the church without retaliation. I would only try churches if you know several members well.

Some city’s social situations are hunted by wealthies looking to make slaves to follow orders, frequently sexual submission from women who moved to the city alone to work…Use caution as the restraining order situations in many cities have been ruined by attorneys who like the abuser lifestyle and there is no defense except to leave immediately & quit your job, and you may not be able to work for a couple years while you wait for schizo to stop. Insomnia is frequent used as motivator, better to try over the counter & never go near mental care if you ever find one of these situations. Alcohol will help with drowiness too. If you are verbally defensive, these situations will ruin you worse.

If man thinks he is trespassed upon, you cannot make a police report unless everything is stolen. He will get month’s long psych evaluation for reporting this to cops and there is nothing most courts will do anyway…Keep belongings to basics, move if the trespassing seems worse like neighbor is involved if you leave for short periods and stuff is disturbed. Some people do not own much for a while during these periods of time which can be caused if you socialize and your friends are going through problems with town’s powers, your own stuff could be broken. Some cities do this a lot to helps to own very little so you don’t go broke. Seems if you make a little money with your electronics, it will not be broken…Always know how working will affect disability pay before you try working but is allowable under SSI or SSDI but every situation is different so get advice from mental clinic or read up on social security website.

Lastly, sometimes kids or old folks sound possessed to psychosis victims. This is called thought insertion where internal voice is hijacked and victim is not aware of it. Can happen to your friend when he has phrase unrelated to current activities, environment or train of though repeating in his head. It is bad joke. Just ignore this as victim is not aware this is happening and no use saying anything to kids/old folks about it even. Can make some sound like they are possessed sadly and has resulted in lots of injuries of kids…

Really, schizo term just meant your man was hearing it a long time and paranoid schizo means he has strangers bothering him. If he had a wealthy person threaten him and he just leaves the situation quietly, sometimes they don’t have the strangers start on him. In some cities, there is BIG push socially to harass people into giving up disability pay. I really cannot guarantee he will be treated better without the payments and can suffer a lot of problems due to insomnia, crazy & disruptive coworkers. Only choose to give up disability pay if you have a lot of money saved up to cover your living expenses because some people get screwed. Always read up on working while on disability, a brochure is available on social security website…Need to ask around locally if you will be canceled from disability for working because all social security offices run differently and could cause you problems for even trying to work…

Hope this helps & does not scare you away. The lovely men are a precious gift you will eventually learn after you see the middle-class men in your city turn to predatorial behavior and ruining people if the voices demand it…Open mind, supportive patience & positive attitude. Things can be even better than the rest of the males as some of the guys who made schizo won’t hurt someone else…

Things work better if you keep the diagnosis private and he does not worry aloud anywhere btw.

Symptoms you may not know – tactile sensations without cause which can be really painful like punched in stomach, heart palpitations, crawling, breath on neck… smells without cause, visuals, auditory…Social problems with other schizos.

Ask anything you want by PM. Take care –


#16

Don’t put a label on him . Just treat him as you would any other person with a few quirks :wink:


#17

Where does it say that a person with schizophrenia can’t be warm affectionate and loving? Not all of us are but it’s not unheard of. Sure some peoples symptoms might make them seem cold and aloof but once you get past the symptoms and you get to know them most people with schizophrenia have the same emotions and can make good spouses, sons, sisters, friends, and parents just like anybody else. NO ONE is a 100% mentally ill, even the people with bad cases are more than capable of having relationships but its a matter of degree.