We Feel So Incompetent

A lot has happened since my last response. Our son remains in hospital at this time. A discharge treatment plan is getting worked out. He will be placed in a group home as he acclimates himself to life after the hospital with the goal set on returning home. The caring responses here have helped me navigate my ship with some direction and that’s a much better place to be.

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This is such a welcomed post, Esq. So glad to hear that you were able to navigate some steps forward for you and for him. As I read what is going on for all of us in this forum, hearing someone experiencing something positive (even if it is simply some expressed clarity or understanding)…well frankly, it gives me hope on my less than comfortable days.

Blessings to you and your family this Holiday Season!

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I remember being at the court house and a young clerk was filling out paper work that would eventually go to the judge. He asked if he ever left the door open and we said of course, every day. He said yeah I hear that a lot. Or leaving the car in the parking lot running with the keys in ignition. We saw that when he was driving. This is a danger as is going outside nude.

Out of the hospital, out of jail or prison and alive. Our life mission in a nutshell.

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Had a bad night yesterday. I think the combination of my son not taking his morning dose, and then accidentally missing some bedtime doses has caught up with us. He was under ‘surveillance’, and when that happens he gets loud, verbally aggressive, and feels he needs to break things.

I didnt take him to the hospital, but did call for CIT officers. He said he would start taking the morning dose again. We shall see. I didn’t sleep much last night.

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I hope things get better and that you get some good rest.

I hope your son uses his coping mechanisms and takes medication that helps him make healthy decisions.

lol, his pretty much non-existent coping mechanisms. His method of coping is to break things.

Interested in how you are making his treatment work in such an isolated place? My heart goes out to you. We have I guess what is a complete mental health center, several nurses and Doctors all in one center. If they need to be stabilized we now have choices of hospitals. I have to be very greatful for what we have here, but most of the patients are either older or younger so my daughter is mostly isolated. Like everyone here I sometimes feel depressed, tired, and in a bad dream that keeps going day after day. My daughter ran away 4 times, and decided home was the best place for her. They have tried several meds to stop the voices and delusions. Her new medication is invega shots. This has quieted her accusers, who are mean, but still has non stop dialogue with voices. Today the nurse told me they will keep working toward a drug mix that will give her a life back to reality. I have a God who is bigger than this illness and kind enough to give me strength to continue to be there for her one day at a time.

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Getting the right medication is our biggest challenge, and knowing what is triggering the behavior. I do my best to stay calm and say reassuring things to try to re-direct her thinking during a crisis. Last bad one was a month ago. She was on a medication that I felt was agitating her. The voices will make her slap herself, or break things. This night she broke just about everything she could throw. I stood by the TV and lucky that was safe. My sister came by and helped me clean up. I see these behaviors as a result of either medication adjustment or wrong medication. My daughter is very open about telling me what the voices are saying, and what she sees. One night she was using some kung fu moves to try her best to fight them. I have reached a point ( after three years) that these episodes are over quickly as long as I’m calm and reassuring. Then we discuss what happned at her Dr or nurse visit. I do not have legal guardianship, but it is understanding that I go in with her. If she say’s things are fine. They turn to me and I tell them what has happned. This openess and trust has been hard but is paying off.

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Dang it. 151515151520202020

You are lucky to have a group home option. Austin has out patient therapy groups that my daughter would love, but we have to stay in our county. Too expensive to live in Austin. I’m glad your son is doing better.

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So sorry things are rough for you now…I hope he stays on his meds and you can get some rest (hugs)

I can attest to this! My son has sz and bpd and I just had to ask my husband for a divorce. (Not bio father) And this is the only place I can get understanding, compassion, empathy, information and over all support! The only other person in my life who understands is my daughter! And I’m so thankful for her support!!

I had my son admitted this morning. Sigh. His behavior was escalating - 3 bad days in a week - and once he starts saying his is going to kill people - which I don’t have reason to believe he will ever do - I know it is time for hospital admission.

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I am so sorry. You’re in my heart and prayers always.

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Vallpen you have a lot going on in your life right now. You are always encouraging and thoughtful in your posts. Hoping that your husband surgery goes well and your son gets help as well.
Take care of yourself.:hibiscus::sunflower::cherry_blossom:

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You are on the beginning of a journey that will be bittersweet, but you are not incompetent. The range of emotions in the beginning are a rollercoaster ride of denial to guilt and maybe even some anger. There will be days you will be exhausted and then there will be days when you find joy in spending time with your son which energize you again. Will it be different than before? Yes. But you know that really is ok, because life never stays the same anyway.

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Great advice and I might add. That sweet boy/man is in there still and you will find it surfacing. Tell him you love him often and ask him if you can hug him. Everyone deserves and needs love.

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@Vallpen

I am very sorry you are going through this with your son again. In the beginning, When I joined the forum you were one of the ones who really encouraged me and gave me good advices. I am glad you was able to get your son admitted. Please get some rest and I will continue to pray for you and your family.~Hugs~

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Vallpen,

I was thinking about you today and wondering how your son was doing, how you were doing…hoping that there has been some respite for you, some progress for him, and some continued steps forward.

Wishing all of you blessings.

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