Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

What are typical things your relatives say


#1

First of all merry Christmas to everyone and hope all have a peaceful happy day whether you celebrate Christmas or not.

We that is me, hubby and 25 year old son , not forgetting our little doggie🐶 Have came to my parents for Christmas. We had a bad time last Christmas so thankful it’s an improvement.

Son can be very childlike, last night he was saying his typical things, that he was going to be kidnapped, then taken to another country, and we,lol never see “our boy” again, that they would use him or sell him over there. He saw the word Japan and asked is it there? Is that’s where I’m going?
He rang a taxi a few months back but cancelled it while still on the phone as another had turned up. Now he thinks that the taxi he rang was going to be the one that comes to take him away!
Then he says his nurse isn’t a real nurse, and keeps talking of being in hospital which he was discharged from 4 months ago,after a 5 month stay. (That was probably too long but had several set backs and the hospital were very aware of how ill it had all made me)
He keeps saying the dr was a terrorist and not a dr etc etc.
I’m new to it all, what things does your loved one say? What are some of their delusions? He doesn’t have hallucinations or hear voices.

So many questions , is this for life? Is this our “new” life? Nothing was wrong years ago, it’s like a dream at times.

Anyway if you have got to the end of this thank you so much for reading.


#2

I believe things will get better, probably not very quickly and the improvements will be very gradual and subtle but over time you will look back and say, wow, this is way better than before…at least that is how I hope it goes for you and your son, it has gone that way for me and my son now 32. At 25 and just barely on the “right” meds he was saying that the president was watching our house and had snipers aimed at us at all times, he insisted on every window and the door being tightly shut at all times with curtains closed. Sometimes he would unplug everything in the house because he thought that something was coming in through the plugs in the outlets, once I found a shoe box full of many varieties of live insects…and me being scared to death of bugs that was at the very least unpleasant. In the very beginning I would find him asleep in his closet dressed with jeans, coat, boots, like it was winter and wrapped up in a blanket like a cocoon no matter the season…once he tied a bandana around his neck so tight that I thought he would cut off his own air, he insisted it did not cut off his air and said that it was the only thing that made his head feel “right”…that lasted a day or two…my son was also a drug user before he went into treatment for the schizophrenia, so in the beginning I had to hide my wallet, car keys and anything in the house he could use to get drugs…it was a very hard nerve wracking job…and sometimes I failed like the time he walked to the ER (about a mile from our house) and walked in and told them he was in a ‘car accident’ and needed something for’ severe pain’ (all lies) and came home with a bottle of Percocets and took them all…after that I got his guardianship and really never let him out of my sight for a good while (I went on disability myself in 2010 so not working made watching him much easier and me being with him 24/7 had a really positive effect on him)…eventually I saw positive changes with the meds he was on…it took a couple of years or more and sometimes I still think I see changes but more good than bad…besides the meds I think the fact that I created a pretty simple uncomplicated home environment with few ‘hard and fast’ expectations from him…has contributed to his wellness today… I make an attempt every day to get him to do something and he either agrees or not…if he doesn’t I just go ahead and do it myself or if I can’t it stays undone until it can be done…I have had many weeks where I have gotton more agreement to do things than refusals (but not in the beginning)…I always mention that I am constantly checking with him, “how are you doing?” etc…and redirecting, “are you taking your shower today? “Remember to mail that letter”, get your laundry together” “make a note we have to go see the dentist tomorrow” etc etc…it is all the time…but it works…and it helps…today he has none of those delusions (95%) of the time about anyone after him or anything like that …he has no more drug seeking behaviors (but I do not kid myself to think that if I were not here it would start right back up again) He has no interest in bugs anymore, he sleeps soundly in his own bed but still sleeps in regular street clothes…I am not sure that will ever change…It has only been the past 3 years that he really will do things on his own without me now and then…it gets a little better each year…it’s not consistent yet…some days he still wants to sit on his butt and watch TV and eat or follow me every where I go. BUT other days he will go to the gym, or shop for himself, or go to the Starbuck’s for a coffee…he use to go to AA pretty regular not for the program but for the stories and the shared smoking afterward…it’s such a social activity (smoking) but this past year he suddenly stopped and said he was tired of going…I still keep interjecting every couple of weeks that I would take him to a meeting anytime…one day he will go back…when he is ready…he has little other social interaction right now…that is part of the negative symptoms of sz that are more obvious in later years…so in an effort to provide him with experiences he would never seek on his own and to inject some potential joy into his life…most “gifts” I give him revolve around experiences…every time Cirque du Soleil is in town we go because he is fascinated by them…we both like ice hockey so I try to get tickets when I can afford them…he adores the Ohio State Fair and the Columbus Zoo so we have annual trek there…his favorite musical artists are Stevie Nicks and The Red Hot Chili Peppers…so his Christmas present this year is tickets to see Stevie Nicks in March with me and then for his birthday in April he is getting tickets to see The Red Hot Chili Peppers in May with me…I’d love it if he had friends to go with but he makes zero effort to stay in touch with friends although when he meets people he is well liked…because he is a very friendly and pleasant fellow but most people give up because he won’t return phone calls or except invitations to most places…so it is my hope that I can enrich his life in ways that he cannot and who knows even with his mom in public he is liable to meet people at least he is out in the world experiencing something and maybe having fun…it is still hard to tell when he has a very flat effect…but even at 32 he does something very childish to me anyway…he will act like a cat and meow at me at odd moments…he doesn’t do it when people are around just to me…so I take it as humor and just blow it off…once or twice I told him I was going to call animal control on him and he thought that was hilarious…one of his psychiatrists explained to me that in many sz patients their emotional growth is stunted at the onset of the illness and for my son it started around 14…so in many ways he will always be at least partially 14…in other ways I see him struggle to move past that…but those or just brief attempts that don’t seem to stick…still I look back where I was when he was at 14, 18, 21, and 25 and today at 32…I say "wow this is way better than before…and hope lives…for all the years to come…I love that kid…and things are okay now…more often than not…Thanks for letting me share all of this with you…I hope it helps. Enjoy your Christmas.:evergreen_tree: >>>>PS: One more thing about when my son use to or still might say something that I know is entirely false, I flat out say “no” now…sometimes hearing my blunt disagreement with his “belief” makes him take pause and question it or realize it might not be right…(I call this a reality check and I think newly recovering sz people do it all the time but not everybody recognizes it…because most caretakers rightly believe not to contest delusions and before effective medicines are introduced I would say that’s entirely true,…contesting delusions is a fruitless endeavor…but like you said your son is not hearing or seeing things right now I would say he might be trying to check reality from time to time because for sz folks reality is illusive…so if he says the doctor is a terrorist or whatever you can try different approaches…I have tried dozens…you can flat out say…nope!..he is not. (see what happens) or you can say…laughingly that “that is hilarious, you have such a good sense of humor!” or…you can say…that cant possibly be true because he absolutely would not be permitted to work if he were…I just find that with my son if I sound like I know the truth he tends to kind of go with it…if he doesn’t and insists on some false belief…I just say…well that’s fine if you choose to think that way…but just because you think that way does not make it true and I stop arguing about it…and recently I have started telling him I can ‘google it’…if I find anything remotely supporting what I say…he concedes…because you know the internet never lies…LOL (just kidding) anyway…I couldn’t sleep so I spent my night writing…as you can tell…I think I will go to bed now…before the sun comes up…lol


#3

Ahh thank you Catherine ,thanks for letting me into your life , your world, it’s very reassuring. You sound like you are doing just brilliant, you must’ve had to come al Long way, I respect you so much.

I hope you did go back to sleep. We are in uk so a fair few hours in front of guys. Merry Christmas.


#4

When my son had delusions of someone coming to take him (for him, it was always government involved), I would just reassure him that me & his dad would never let that happen - and remind him that we had two big dogs inside the house who hate strangers and would always let us know if anything was stirring outside.

At times, I would have to remind him of that every 5 minutes, but it would seem to help him feel safer. And, even at times when he was 15 (first psychotic break) through about 18/19, he would be so scared one of us would sometimes sleep in the living room with him - and a few times, he would sleep in our room.

When he was very little, he would sometimes come get in bed with us if he woke up first, but probably from 5 until he got sick at 15, he never did that & would have thought it was a ridiculous idea.

My son graduated this past year from mostly paranoid delusions to more grandiose delusions that he really enjoyed. I feel bad saying this, but the delusions that scared him were way easier to address than the ones where he was on top of the world.

Today, he’s about 3 weeks in on Invega injections & I haven’t heard hardly any delusions over the past few days. I think he is now battling some negative symptoms - the anxiety that never really goes away, some depression, maybe more.

At least he is bathing and changing his clothes daily or close to it and he said maybe he’d train to be a helicopter pilot or a taxi driver. I encourage him because it gives him hope, and taxi driver may be a possibility sometime in the future if he continues to improve and will accept treatment. I don’t mention that while no one will stop him from taking flying lessons, it’s unlikely anyone would hire him as a pilot because the FAA has very strict rules against any kind of psychiatric medication.

I’m just thankful he’s stopped asking to go to a recruitment office so he can join the military - I know it would be against their rules to take him, but I don’t trust some idiot not to let him sign the papers, especially if he goes in while he’s having a good day.

Merry Christmas - I’m glad this year is better than past ones for your family. What you’re describing is typical for all of our children. I hope you find something to say that reassures him, even if it only gives him a few minutes peace at a time.


#5

God bless and thank you slw, so many similar stories here, we say that too, I hug my son tight saying no one will take you, he seems reassured by that too ,


#6

Yes, thank you @Jane57 I did doze off and get about 4 hours I think I am good to go…My sza sis is with me now and I got to experience a real Christmas miracle she remained quiet the entire drive home… about 15 minutes…I was awe struck and so pleased. I told her it was the best ride in a car I had ever experienced with her…and she beamed.


#7

@slw what good news!..such positive progress! I am so happy to hear that…I truly hope everyone gets to see a Happier New Year.


#8

That is brilliant catherine so pleased for you. X


#9

I think all of us, after a few years, could fill volumes of books with stories of delusions and hallucinations with which we have watched family member struggle. Sometimes they are funny. Sometimes they are heart breaking. Sometimes they are terrifying. Yes, it is a new life. Finding the right meds and keeping your son from self medicating is a key though to your new life stabilizing.
My son is never going to be the person he was before. That took a while to sink in for me. This forum is comforting because while friends mean well, they really don’t grasp the day to day struggles as well as others who are going through it. Our normal is different.
Most recently my son has been convinced there are cameras in odd places to film him and someone will use the recordings against him. Of course that is not happening but it is very real to him. Trying to dissuade him does not work so we let him search and ask if he found anything.
Believe it or not, however, there are days that my son feels good. Those are the days we cherish and you will too. Best wishes.


#10

Thank you. It is a great forum and yes I agree that its actually comforting to not feel “alone” it makes life seem normal that others are going through.

My son had very similar delusions where he feels he will be recorded and used against him. I ask “for what” he just replies he doesnt know but it will happen .

He actually let me take his photo on christmas day, something he hasnt done for a long time.

I feel a bit of a weight off my shoulder when I take less notice of his delusions or I just think its just words he is saying and not let myself be so affected by them. I just treasure when he is stable and normal which is more than it used to be.

Hope all keeps well with you.


#11

I can give you a couple cause if I stay and write them all it will take me hours.
She had to go meet Obama and Putin in Russia in order to save the world from nuclear disaster.
She is part of the government that does not exist and is higher than FBI and CIA.
Goldie Hawn, Nicole Kidman, Madonna, are her aunts and her family but they can not all be seen together.
She Is a High Priestess and people will all respect her.
That’s just a few


#12

It is somewhat a relief to read and share with others. Y’all are the only ones that can relate.


#13

It’s so astounding isn’t it, the brain is such a mysterious, complex thing. I think we all find comfort here in each other, we understand in a way that some (through no fault of their own) don’t.


#14

My son is so rooted in his paranoia, we never have had the grandiose illusions. His theme is people talking bad about him, calling him names and wanting to hurt him. He once explained that an entire city was in on a plan to kill him. This was before we knew about Amador’s LEAP so we tried to rationalize with him. Trying to rationalize with him just put up a wall between us. I read Amador and took his suggestions and brought the subject again regarding people trying to hurt him. Ended on “agree to disagree” and he began talking to me once again.

When he “hears” me calling him names he responds by calling me bad names. Before I knew he was ill, this was really changing my feelings toward him. I felt so badly about it one time - I had to put him on the phone to give permission for the healthcare customer assistance person to talk to me. He gave them permission handed me back the phone and called me a very bad name in that mean tone his scz can have- with the phone right between us. I heard the young woman gasp, I hurriedly went into my bedroom, shut the door and said to her "I am so, so sorry, my son is special, he meant that for me not you. Poor thing she was shook up.

These days I just warn them ahead of time. I tell them he has scz and he may say something rude and please don’t hang up.


#15

My son & your daughter have a lot in common.

He communicates with Angelina Jolie, Johnny Carson, Joe Rogan & a few other celebrities as well as former presidents on the regular.


#16

Oh those are just a few. She can talk non stop for 24 hours if not more.
She has one Personality that has a British accent and part of royal family. Princes Di is alive and well cause she has seen her. The one that died was a duplicate.
It’s actually my gf of 6 years now. But I feel it’s like taking care of a child


#17

Sorry for assuming you were a parent - it’s hard to keep track.

I haven’t had the “one that died was a duplicate” thing, but I have had a lot of they faked their death stories.


#18

It’s ok. We have hard time keeping track of our own stuff let alone others too.
Last night she started with numbers letters as if it was turrets. She said it’s the nuclear codes and needs to change them to avoid WW III
How old is your daughter?


#19

Now we’re even - my son. He’s 27.

He had his first psychotic break at 15, then again at 17, and at 18 - and then was mostly stable with mild symptoms until this year. Now, we’re having a hard time getting him stable because he lost his insight along the way.

Well, if she needs some help stalling anyone, he has an uncanny ability to make people faint over the phone and control people through telekinesis. Maybe they’ll save the world?

All kidding aside, it is kind of sweet that they want to help the world at large even though they’re very, very ill.


#20

Your son. LoL even we are.

The telekinesis she can do as well. She can also summon people to her rescue at a moments notice. Illuminati and the secret society are her real family.
She hates talking on the phone or texting. She said the Big computer is recording it all. That’s why they all talk from a distance in their minds. Yet I ask her why yell?she doesn’t like my little sny comments.