What’s next for us? For me?

Hello. I have been married to my husband for 8 years. Prior to being in a relationship, he disclosed that he was schizophrenia/bipolar. However, he was “normal” and knew that he had to continue to take his meds and everything would be fine. And everything was fine until April of this year. He went into full manic. Stopped taking his meds, was talking to himself and everything. He was full manic for two weeks then somewhat “normal” for almost a month. And now he’s still talking to himself. I guess the good thing is that he’s still taking his meds. But bc he was off of it for a while, he’s not back to “normal.” And recently, he did something that I don’t know if I can forgive him. I can’t look at him without feeling hurt. I have seen a therapist for myself and starting taking depression/anxiety medications. Everything is so hard because I still love him. And I know he wasn’t himself when he did what he did… at this time I just want to connect with people who has loved ones who are schizophrenia bc they have a better understanding of how hard it is…

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I am so sorry you are going through this. How wonderful that you have been supportive of your husband in spite of this diagnosis. I’m glad you are seeing a therapist. You are correct that this illness causes people to do things that they would not otherwise do, although technically they still know right from wrong, but voices or delusions could cause ill-advised behaviors.

You can connect with others here, but I highly recommend finding a Family Support Group through the National Alliance on Mental Illness (ideally in your state): Support Groups | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness.

Have you talked with his doctor? Whether or not your husband has authorized release of medical information to you, YOU can give the doctor information about what you are observing. If your husband is taking meds, they obviously are not working as well as hoped. It is possible that the medication could be tweaked.

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Thanks. Yes, his doctor is aware but unfortunately, there’s nothing they can do because he’s not admitting it. We called the mental health crisis line and they said the same thing. Or that he has to be a danger to himself or others. Which, he is not.

I have looked at their website but they don’t have a location in my state.

Are you familiar with the term “anosognosia”? I recommend the book “I Am Not Sick; I Don’t Need Help” by Dr. Xavier Amador which is the explanation of a strategy using psychology to get a person with mental illness to do something (take medication) for reasons that HE wants, not necessarily because he is sick and needs help. It might be that NAMI is not meeting in some places due to Covid. But many ARE meeting via Zoom, in which case you could meet with a NAMI group in ANY state where that was offered. You might check neighboring states, or private message me on this site and you can meet with the NAMI Family Support Group I am part of, via Zoom, if you want to. I actually co-facilitate it.

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Thanks for the information. I actually looked at the website again and I did find the Zoom meeting. I just registered. Thanks again!!

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