I am borrowing from AA…enabling is when you interfere with someone feeling the consequence of their actions. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between enabling and mercy.
For example:
Next week we go to court over a civil infraction. My son is ok with going on his own. We discussed the consequences of his behavior and they may fine him. I do not feel comfortable with him going on his own because MI is so misunderstood. So I am going with him. For a show of support as well as to run interference should a communication issue ensue. Enabling? Supportive? I am sure there are people who think I enable my son. I can’t change what others think, but I have to do what I think is best in the long run.
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Hello thereisalwayshope,
It is good your son will let you go to his court hearing. Not sure if you are allowed any voice in the matter at hand, but certainly offering support to your son is showing him love and compassion.
Take care AnnieNorCal
Yeah, I am not sure I will be as I was not present when he was disturbing the peace, but I do want to be there to make sure they know (If I am allowed to say) his peace has been disturbed for a long time with the illness.
Welcome to the forum, @aco_205 , we understand what you are going through, all of us here have been there where you are, struggling with guilt. Please, try to forgive yourself. I’m sure you did the best you could.
There are others here who have had contact cut off in one way or another. It is not possible to predict the behavior of the unmedicated, but protective orders exists because they ARE needed sometimes. Please try to not feel guilty or alone.
It really touched me when you used the words- necessary not enabling.
What we do to stay in touch with our loved one who struggles with SZ is necessary.
AND, we must set boundaries for the care, grief etc. and take good care of ourselves.
Take 2 chocolate chip cookies and call me in the morning. LOL!!!
from Vermont
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