Some of you know a bit of my story. My son has psychosis (it may be sz it may be from the synthetic pot - I’m not sure yet). Regardless, he is hallucinating and isolating - he’s a mess. My BF (big support) and I have lived together for 7 years with his two sons for the most part and mine. Due to my son’s issue, we decided best if my BF and his one son, still in HS, should move out in order for them to get peace and for me to figure out what is going on with mine. We’re hoping he will come out of his room more with only me in the house. I am in a large house and will be moving back to my condo (that I own) mid-May. So I will have two months to attempt to figure some things out and get my son in a state of mind where I can get him to actually move without problems - like refusing to go. There are a lot of different emotions going on for me - I need to focus, however, on getting my son on track. I keep saying take the bull by the horns.
Keep us posted…
we’re always here, and will always listen.
What an incredibly courageous woman you are!
In my thoughts…
If he does suffer from scz, then its an uncontrollable bull you are trying to grab by the horns. DianeR, a two month deadline is a lot of pressure on you.
How is your project to determine whether or not the synthetic pot is the actual problem or if he is self medicating scz with the synthetic pot?
If its scz, the caregiver 4 c’s can sound like incredibly bad news, because we parents tend to want to focus on curing and controlling. You didn’t cause it, you can’t cure it and you can’t control it, you can only cope with it. So many of us showed up with our notebooks open, pens in hand at Family to Family, we were ready to write down the notes of how to fix our adult children. I know my mentality was “just give me some idea of which way to go and I will handle it”.
I do wish you luck, now I am worried I sound like a downer here. I am really hoping you can get him synthetic pot free and see a difference as the other mom did with her child.
@hope - I think I’m going to put those four C’s up on my wall. I refer back to them often so thank you for those.
The bull = life in general. I’m not going to let it beat me. Even if my son has sz or psychosis or drug issues.
2 months is just to get him stable enough to be willing to move without having to involve the police, although I’m afraid it may come to that.
I’m pretty sure he is off the syn pot as I can’t smell it but I think the side effects can go on for a while. In addition, he may have sz. I am thankful to have a few months before we have to move and then I am paying rent /mortgage in 2 places to make it as stress-free as possible (laughing).
Thanks for your support : )
I really like your attitude toward life - I really let scz take over my life and had to fight to get it back. You really have the right attitude.
The first time I shared them with a desperate dad at group - he was there pen in hand ready for directions to get his teenager’s daughter’s life back on track. The 4 C’s made him angry - of course, right? Coping sounds like so little but it is really so big once you get there.
@hope I guess I’m fighting to keep my life with this new addition. After last night I made sure I got to yoga today - it’s not traditional so we lie on the floor a lot. I also paint so I spend a lot of time working on that and I sold my first and then 2nd and 3rd pieces yesterday. I didn’t make much but that is ok. I try to have the attitude that things happen for a reason. Is this happening so I learn more about compassion and love - I do think so. I’m not particularly happy about it however, I can do my best to cope : )
Good luck @DianeR. Moving is stressful for anyone.
It was particularly stressful for my family member.
I agree with you about learning love. Pretty much all I have learned here on earth leads me and shoves me and guides me towards love.
It takes a lot of love to be us : ) : )
I like to think things happen for a reason. I like to think that we are moving towards something good even when it doesn’t seem like it.
@Hereandhere - Oh not to worry, I’m already stressed out about it. This is why I am paying for two places in May. I can move all his stuff and him and his cars if I have to. He just needs to be willing to allow me to take his things - I will have movers doing that. We are moving into the condo he grew up in so perhaps that will make it a bit easier. Or not : ) Just hoping not to have to threaten to get the cops involved to get him out of this house.
That transitional month might be really good for both of you. Probably money well spent.
@Hereandhere - I agree. A friend told me, sometimes if there is an issue it’s best to throw money at it. I just have to juggle some things to make it work. I caught my son as I was coming into the house yesterday and I was able to give him 4 pieces of information about the transition. I think it will be worth the money. Like a mini-recovery center (that is normally 30K a month).
Would it be the worst thing if you had to call the police? I’m playing devil’s advocate, but it could be used as an entryway to a hospital stay.
@Jan - I had thought of this. It may be the time he’ll end up in the hospital, which could be the real beginning of recovery. After having the police here a few weeks ago - it’s not as scary as I thought it would be. Of course, they didn’t have to bust his door down and haul him away at that time. Now, however, I have learned of a crisis team that can come with the police and they are trained in psychology and this sort of behavior and they can find cause for him to have, I believe it’s called, an M1. Whereas the police would not see cause to involuntarily put him in the hospital as he’s eating, bathing not a harm to others or himself. The crisis team would basically say if I did not provide food for him he would not be eating and off he goes. Thanks for your support, I couldn’t do it without you guys.