Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Wits end with no help in sight

Hi guys and gals, New here!
Really needing help and cannot get any answers or solutions.
My brother is 33, has been diagnosed schizophrenic. A month ago he got locked up for hitting his wife and threatening his child. Went to jail for a few weeks (no meds administered). 5 days prior to court the sheriff calls me and tells me I have to pick him up. I didn’t want to obviously for my own safety reasons (pregnant and three kids in my home). He stayed with me, still no meds, but also no violent tendencies. He did however get on my every lasting last nerve. Smoking notebook paper, pacing all night, the normal things they do that I’m not used to. I called his doc, the mental hospital, everyone I could…they said nothing they could do unless he came in voluntarily…
Court let him off and I have no clue why except maybe it was safer for his wife/child if he left that town.
My solution was to send him to my father who lives alone and 5 hours away or he would be homeless. I spent my last lil bit of money to get him there. He’s been at my dad’s 3 days WITH his medication. Day one threatened to stab my dad, day two sat and ate quietly, this is day 3 and he started with a bang. While my dad was grilling for the fourth my brother took the metal from the grill and threatened to hit dad. So dad told him let’s get ice cream (but really taking him to the hospital). Brother cusses about not wanting ice cream, jumps out of a moving truck in a town he has never been to and…the story ends here cuz who knows where he went. Dad is searching but no luck yet.
Anyone have ANY advice on any thing we can do?

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So sorry to hear what you are going through Witsend. I don’t have any advice really other than take deep breaths and wait for the next wave. Did your brother have money or a phone with him? If he didn’t he might just show up back at your dad’s house. I imagine you have no idea if he is taking his meds or not, I bet not. Coming off the meds can be a serious rough ride. As a side note, I don’t see how the sheriff can say you have to come pick him up. Perhaps he said that because HE was required to have a place to send your brother.

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Sorry to hear how things are for you and your family, no real advice here but read thru this site, there is lots of information and lots of well informed people with lots of experience. Stay strong and yes get knowledgeable on the subject, it is a ride, I wish you all the best and stay safe

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I believe if you call the CIT officers and they find him , they will be able to baker act him to get help in hospital. He threatened your dad and thats enough to get him baker acted . Sending prayers your way and wish him well .

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It sounds like he is a danger to himself or others, so would need to be involuntarily committed for an emergency psychiatric evaluation. Google on involuntary commitment procedures for your county and state. See what the rules are for whatever jurisdiction you believe him to be in. See how a court order can be obtained. Sometimes a Crisis Intervention Team can do it, sometimes the police can, and sometimes any concerned citizen can. The police or sheriff would then execute the court order and take him to an ER.

If a person is a danger to themselves (suicidal, or generally can’t care for themselves, as in being delusional) or to others, where I live, they don’t have to voluntarily commit themselves to be hospitalized, which they are unlikely to do anyway.

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Praying for you. Some authority will pick him up and take him to hospital. Dad needs some support from social services etc. do they provide housing for mentally ill , anywhere around? Tell your dad to do his homework on services while son is in hospital. Take ALL the services he can get , even if he thinks he doesn’t need them. Keep us posted. So many have been in your/dads situation. Guardianship is good if a dr will sign. Ask about that. With guardianship dad can have him admitted much easier.

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Witsend welcome to this platform. This road is definitely so bumpy it takes us out of our comfort zone; it’s so unfortunate that cops or jail workers are not trained to recognize the symptoms of MI, there’s some that are good at that but the’re rare; to start you can read the book “I’m not Sick I Don’t Need Help” by Xavier Amador.
There’s a great number of sz’s that have anosognosia, lack of insight, my son is one of them and I have gone through the same thing, we’ve been on this ride for close to 30 years and he has stopped the meds so many times; when he was younger he was suicidal, he had left home and a note behind so I asked couple of my brothers to help me find him once we found him we took him to the hospital against his will but after that on another occasion I was taking him to the hospital and he jumped off the car on the way out there, that’s so scary and it hasn’t been the only time another day he was with his cousin and did the same thing.
You can also join the NAMI and take the family to family course which is at no charge, they also have support groups; the first time I attended the support group I met a mother whose teenage son was living with her, he tried to kill her so he went to jail and while there one of the guards told him that in his opinion he had a MI so they kind of directed her to get help.
My son has gotten aggressive as well; he’s unmedicated right now after being in jail 6 months and transferred to the State hospital 6 months to stabilize him, it’s hard to believe that after all that time he quickly decided not to take the meds again!
Since they get ‘smart’ about not having reasons to take the meds we now try to avoid any confrontation or conversation leading to an argument: if he starts asking me about religion I usually say that my opinion doesn’t matter bc I know he wants to argue, or about the police; his father, my husband, stays away bc our son believes he’s following him all time, he just sees him as the enemy #1, he still trusts me a little bit for convenience since he needs a ride at night when he wants to come back home, but he doesn’t even eat what I cooked, he might be thinking that I put his meds there, he has to be really hungry to eat something in here, he has dumped gallons of milk in the sink bc he believes I have ‘put something’.
Last I have reached the CareLine instead of calling 911 so they can help us to have him engaged to take care, so far he has avoided them too.
I get it from the book from Dr. Xavier Amador the most important is to keep a relationship with him, and sometimes is hard with so much offensive and ‘heavy b w’ words.
In your situation or your father’s by all means if he’s being attacked you have to do what you must.
The book is a great help to learn a new way of communicating with our loved ones.
Take care

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These suggestions really DO help. We are finding out about upcoming court dates also. He’s 300 miles from where his appearance for court will be. I may have to have him come back down for court then have him hospitalized involuntarily.
I only want to help. The mental health facilitators really don’t make this easy for anyone

We are checking into that but dad gets frustrated way too easily. Not a great mix of personalities they have going. Brother has court soon back near me so I may have him hospitalized here while he’s down.

You know many times I was wondering about the nurses and hospital caregivers in this line of care and there’s simply so much education and self control and of course they don’t live with them; it’s easy to get frustrated and I know exactly what you mean about the combination of your dad and brother; even me and my husband saw things differently for so many years until finally he caught up with the reality; NAMI has little cards as a reminder to ourselves that we need to stay calm in these sort of events, it’s a list of steps to be taken to avoid escalation; I had to give it to my husband twice, and he attended the family to family classes with me. We’re going through another round of psicosis and unpleasant behavior at the moment but right here in IL the person has to be extremely deteriorated and in danger to himself and others to be involuntarily committed, and I have full guardianship over him but some doctors just don’t seem to understand my point of what I consider to be in danger.
Thank you for updating your situation.
My best wishes for a good outcome.