Brother (dx) wrote on walls when he was entering an episode. He would write about that…his beliefs, but on the walls of our house.
Son write on post-its…or small pieces of paper. Sometimes what he writes doesn’t make sense, or at least at first it doesn’t. He used to just doodle, they were complicated designs, with meaning. Now, it’s still mostly drawings like before, but of monsters or morphed people.
He used to give me little designs to carry, or bracelet designs he made out of paper…both were for my “protection”. His voices were constantly telling him that they were going to, or were killing me. His way of dealing with it, was to make these designs I guess.
I found scratches (most kids do this) on the bathroom cabinetry during this same time…his were designs, his brother (older by one year) wrote too…but he scratched in: “I miss my Dad”. (Dad was working in another State.)
He has had a note on his desk with check-marks for the last few months. There were about a dozen hatchmarks. He said he was taking note of how many days had passed since we moved to this apartment. Hmmm, that was BEFORE Thanksgiving…it is now February. He only had a dozen hatchmarks. He said he was doing this so he could keep better track of time. How much time has gone by? I thought it was an interesting solution to the time loss problem. It was discouraging to him, as he thought it had only been two weeks not three months. I felt really bad for this, as he was so happy with this little note until I asked why he had it? To discover that it did not restore those lost days really bothered him.
Point is: I never really know what these notes mean until he tells me. Sometimes he does, most times he does not. If I don’t pester too much, but always show an interest…he will share with me, and may tell me more on the odd occasion.
Those times, it feels like I’m being given a gift.