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Writing on the Walls


#1

Does anyone else’s person seem to write compulsively?

Visits with my brother seem to be going really well and he seems to enjoy himself. I noticed he writes on the walls of his room (at the care home). I also found a few scraps of paper with writing on them in my home from his last visit. They don’t say much of anything and they don’t appear negative. Just repetitive words, names, or letters. E.g. “DIETDIET” or “ADBADBADB” or “KENNEDY KENNEDY KENNEDY”

Do the words mean something to him? Is it a stress reliever? Or just a habit?


#2

My dad did that. He would also draw trees. Maybe it helps them cope.


#3

My son had tablets full of jibberish, sometimes legible and sometimes not, just a bunch of squiggles. I never asked him what it was. I think it was during his episodes. He was always writing in them, he bought me a new tablet while I was visiting once. He asked me to write in it, so I did, still do. I think it made him look and feel normal.


#4

That is beautiful, thank you for sharing <3


#5

My son writes constantly, especially during bad periods. Then the notes are placed all over my house…floors, couch, coffee table…they cannot be moved from their position. He feels great stress if they are moved. It is always legible but can be notes to the voices telling them to stop or since his memory is now so bad, they can just things to remind him later to tell me something. Some of the notes say disgusting things I don’t want to even think about. Even now that he is what I think of as stable, those notes must stay in their exact position or he says “everything will go bad”. Not worth the fight to get them moved now that things are calm.


#6

I give my son notebooks and he fills them with lists of things he is going to offer in his online store. It really doesn’t make much sense but I think they are struggling to hold on to something and/or work out something. It cannot be bad in my opinion. Others thoughts?

I do pick up the notes and don’t let them accumulate. I shower a stack to his Pdoc once and he was unimpressed and just sort of shrugged. He didn’t mind if they were gone as there are always more.


#7

@Mom2 - that was my son’s psychiatrist’s reaction as well when I took some of it to the initial consultation, he just shrugged.

Back in the beginning of it all, I started finding papers and artwork with tiny lettering all crammed together. The occasional grouping of words made sense, most didn’t. Repetitive. I always read through it to make sure there isn’t any threatening or self harming in it.

Interesting idea that they are either holding on to something or trying to work something out. I do agree that it isn’t bad.


#8

Before my son was in treatment when he was very ill he got a hold of my lipstick and wrote on his bedroom walls in about 3 foot letters “kill me” -scared me to death. He also wrote pages of gibberish and random words I couldn’t make sense of. I think all of it was to try to cope with what was in his head at the time.

I am so grateful to be past all of that today. He still writes often but it is lists of his favorite TV shows, movies and CD’s and notes on things we plan to do in the future.


#9

My son used to fill up notebooks. He doesn’t anymore. He used to keep multiple blogs as well, and type up things in Facebook. Now he feels ‘they’ make it impossible for him to do anything productive.


#10

Brother (dx) wrote on walls when he was entering an episode. He would write about that…his beliefs, but on the walls of our house.

Son write on post-its…or small pieces of paper. Sometimes what he writes doesn’t make sense, or at least at first it doesn’t. He used to just doodle, they were complicated designs, with meaning. Now, it’s still mostly drawings like before, but of monsters or morphed people.

He used to give me little designs to carry, or bracelet designs he made out of paper…both were for my “protection”. His voices were constantly telling him that they were going to, or were killing me. His way of dealing with it, was to make these designs I guess.

I found scratches (most kids do this) on the bathroom cabinetry during this same time…his were designs, his brother (older by one year) wrote too…but he scratched in: “I miss my Dad”. (Dad was working in another State.)

He has had a note on his desk with check-marks for the last few months. There were about a dozen hatchmarks. He said he was taking note of how many days had passed since we moved to this apartment. Hmmm, that was BEFORE Thanksgiving…it is now February. He only had a dozen hatchmarks. He said he was doing this so he could keep better track of time. How much time has gone by? I thought it was an interesting solution to the time loss problem. It was discouraging to him, as he thought it had only been two weeks not three months. I felt really bad for this, as he was so happy with this little note until I asked why he had it? To discover that it did not restore those lost days really bothered him.

Point is: I never really know what these notes mean until he tells me. Sometimes he does, most times he does not. If I don’t pester too much, but always show an interest…he will share with me, and may tell me more on the odd occasion.

Those times, it feels like I’m being given a gift.


#11

My son wrote all the time after his first episode and wrote about his hospital expeience . Along with a book which was amazing and descriptive in parts but jumbled and no links in other . He seems to write lists I think this is when he’s unwell ! When he’s depressed and no communication and doing nothing there is no writing just commputer games . It’s like two different people . He also draws trees !


#12


#13

That’s beautiful . I also love trees I have a lovely poem given to me by my daughter which gives me strength it’s called The Oak tree anyone read it ? It so applies to our struggles


#14

My son was writing about something beyond the black holes.He has stopped in fear that someone will steal his idea. He has always written in small type. He also has written notes to communicate with me so “you know who” won’t hear (government).


#15

Catherine, thank you for that reminder that things can change.


#16

My son never shares about his experience in the hospital. I wish he did.


#17

My sibling does the same thing. Some are legible, some not, repetition of words.
She writes in different languages , too.
Picking up after her during acute periods is challenging as there’s always more mess.
Say, I clean the bathroom of wadded up tissues, piles of clean paper towels, dirty and used tissues under the sink only to find a new store a few weeks later. The ritual of paper hoarding and writing calms her down but makes everyone else crazy.
I wish there were a better solution for this, but in MA you can check yourself out of Halfway homes, and treatment centers that might be specific for an illness are very expensive.


#18

Yes he writes. But sometimes when the paranoia is bad he won’t. I don’t often see what he writes, mostly he tells me he has been writing and sometimes will talk about it. Recently he did show me some writings and while the thoughts on the page were coherent, the conclusion drawn was not. Or at least to me. To him everything made perfect sense.
I do agree they are trying to make sense of something. And even if we don’t understand it, if it helps to sort it out for them it is a good thing I think.

On a side note, my mom has AD and I see some of the same intensity about having thoughts down on paper.


#19

I never even thought about the possibility that some of it could be in Greek - he studied Greek quite a bit.

There’s nothing in our area for anyone with anosognosia who doesn’t want help because he doesn’t think he’s sick. No housing, no nothing. Luckily he let me apply for ssi and ssdi for him.


#20

Can you google ACT in your state? It is Assertive Community Treatment. I was researching it last night. It is impressive and long term. It sounds too good to be true but others have sang its praises. More and more states are going to it in order to save money on ER visits, jails and hospital visits.