The weather outside is getting warmer, the days are growing longer, events like graduations and weddings and outdoor barbeques are looming on the horizon. People expect you to be happy right now, but instead you actually feel more depressed and irritable than in the winter. Why? Despite what you think, you aren’t alone feeling this way. In fact, in late spring and summer, admissions to psychiatric hospitals actually increase from the winter months. There’s a name for what you might be feeling– seasonal affective disorder (SAD), summer variant.
SAD is usually high in summer and lows in winter. Around or before Spring Equinox I get a sudden burst of energy and awakening of my mind, like God and angels and the aliens download tons of energy and information into my brain and turn the P gland on full volume…This will peak within a month then leave me on a high roll till sometime in August,
When the leaves begin to turn I sense it coming, the tiredness and depression…using the remaining powers granted I will pray to change the weather and call the sun to warm the earth, but eventually it comes…winter…
I then become lethargic, sleep much more, and have depression…with a few lucid moments on warmer days perhaps i need the rest, I just dont need the depression and just the thought of cold wet and freezing bones, and the inability to be outside in greenery and living beings with mating seasons and births and growth in spring and summer.
I am wired to the cycles of earth…it is natural, and there are ways to work through winter and have enough happiness to make it through…
That increase in light and heat does do something to me. More light, more energy and then it turns in to less sleep and more agitation and restlessness and then I start to get hyper and unable to focus that energy. This is when I feel the most ADHD. It takes so much more concentration to get through my list and not start little side projects that keep me from the task at hand.
I get so restless during that change from spring to summer. I feel so much more calm when the rains come back.
I always get bad around now, last year was awful, however I wasn’t on an antidepressant, but even now I’m feeling the weight of my emotions and not wanting to get out of bed… Mum has often suspected I suffer from SAD as my dad is bad but only during the winter! It doesn’t help that hayfever happens and I’m photo allergic due to my meds so I burn with so little time and come out in a rash a couple of days later so I spend a lot of my time with chesty asthma sort of stuff and itching! I love winter though, and autumn, autumn is my favourite season and I like the dark, natural dark, not man made darkness! I’m waffling, will end this post here.
I melt in hot temperatures, literally and figuratively. SAD in reverse. In autumn and winter, I regain some sanity. Heat melts my brain and my composure.
