In denial of having schizophernia

When my son has went in, it’s always been on a TDO that allows them to keep him for up to 30 days.

But, he is always much, much better by the 2 week mark. Not well, but stable enough to no longer be a danger to himself.

This was our experience:
1st time - we all thought he just stopped taking his meds & getting them back on them would fix him up. He had been stable on Zyprexa for around 7 years. He was better in the hospital, but came home & refused to take the meds after about 2 days. However, I used alternative methods to get him to take the meds, and the truth was the Zyprexa had just stopped working for him.

2nd time - he finally got to the point he wasn’t sleeping again, and after about 5 days of no sleep at all, he asked to go see someone, anyone - so he ended up in our local crisis office & they decided he needed to be hospitalized about 5 minutes after he got there. This time, due to compliance issues, they started him on the Invega injection. About a week after they started this new med, he was like a totally different person. Very close to symptom free - so they let him come home.

3rd time - after your initiation doses, they try you on 117 mg/month as a maintenance dose. It wasn’t enough for him, so once again he stopped sleeping, and on the day he was supposed to get his third shot, he was asking to go to the hospital again - so off we went. They bumped him up to 156 mg & once again, he was good in about 2 weeks.

4th time - The 156 mg was still not enough to hold him near the end. This time, he got his shot & still ended up in the hospital about 4 days later. He had only slept 16 hours in 8 days - yes, I know exactly because I am hyper-vigalent about his sleeping. This time, they couldn’t up his dosage on the Invega shot until the next month, but they added Risperdal & a mood stabilizer that seemed to work miracles. This time, they only kept him 8 days, but he was doing well & ready to come home. This time, he came home willing to take the oral meds - that’s something he hasn’t been willing to do for almost a year.

Since them, they’ve changed his shot to 234 mg, took him off the Risperdal & tripled his mood stabilizer. Only time will tell if this is the right combo. He’s not sleeping as much as I would like, but he is sleeping some each day. He’s still delusional, but not very paranoid. I don’t think he’s hearing voices or seeing anything. We have good conversations that make sense - even if some revolve around his less bizarre delusions.

I flip out every time he slides backwards, even a tiny bit, but overall he’s much better than the first time he went into the hospital.

So, to borrow his phrasing, his recovery is a process and I have to expect that there will be bumps in the road. Maybe he’ll be back in there again. If he has to go, he has to go. I don’t want him to, but it won’t be the end of the world.

Also, I think you have to have a few short stays that don’t work before you can convince someone to keep them for an extended stay. I don’t think that’s a law or a hard & fast rule, but it seems to be how it works.

I also have some theories about why he gets better in the hospital, then doesn’t do as well at home. He always makes friends in the hospital - at home, he isolates. In the hospital, he can’t watch things on the TV or computer that fuel his delusions or give him racing thoughts like he can at home. They also have multiple group therapy sessions per day, the nurses and case managers are always trying to engage them in conversation, and he sees the doctor daily.

Yes, it seems like you have had a long road. But you are doing great! Did you say your son was 27 or a teen? I can’t remember. I just have to find a way to get him to get help. If it comes down to it, everyone says hospitalization, then that will be. I wish he would get help on his own…don’t we all right.

He’s 27, but he had his first break at 15, and I was sooooo ignorant 12 years ago. We took him to the ER & they were going to admit him, but didn’t have a bed - and they didn’t take the time to explain to me what was going on. So, I packed him up, brought him home, and got him well myself - it was early in his illness, so once I got him to sleep & eat again, he snapped back without treatment really quick. That lasted for 18 months & I really wish I had let him go that first time.

Maybe earlier medication would have made a big difference for him. Instead, he didn’t get on anti-psychotics until his third psychotic break. Because we were adamant about not hospitalizing him, he saw no one after the first one. Started seeing a psychiatrist on an outpatient basis after the 2nd one - but the doctor didn’t see it. Then, the doctor saw the third one.

So, I think I can say from experience that delaying treatment doesn’t do anyone any good. And, this past year, I’ve kind of decided I’d rather have a son who hates me than a son who never has a chance to get better. Keeping him out of the hospital was selfish on my part, although I was doing it with the best of intentions at the time.

About 12 to 18 months ago, something changed for him, and changed to the point that avoiding the hospital was no longer an option. However, I was not going to drag him kicking & screaming to the hospital. So, I waited for the right opportunity - and even now, I can honestly tell him I did not put him in the hospital. He asked to go, and once the hospital staff saw him, they felt he needed treatment and kept him. That also means that when he asks me to do something to help him come home earlier, I can say it’s not up to me - it’s up to the doctor. Although, I always tell him the minute they say he can come home, I’ll be there waiting to get him.

This is how it happened each time. I never had advance warning - I just had to seize the moment and be ready to drive him where he needed to go. Other people choose to have a crisis team come evaluate their family member at home, but I’ve avoided that so that home can remain his safe place.

First time - we had went earlier in the day for him to do an intake session for a new treatment team. They talked about what hospital would be his first choice & told him lots of people like one in our area because they let you go outside & smoke. later that night, he insisted on going there to smoke. So, we went. They evaluated him, had a bed & did the involuntary hold right there. I thought it would kill me.

Second time - again, he wanted to talk to someone right then. we went to crisis, they did the evaluation there, and the police transported him to the hospital.

Third time - he was asking to go to the hospital instead of the dr’s office.

Fourth time - he went sort of voluntarily - he had got the police called on him twice in two days for wandering in traffic.

Each time, they did an involuntary hold because he was not mentally competent to either consent to or refuse treatment at that time.

With him, once he’s awake about 5 days, there’s no hiding his psychosis. He has an urgency to talk about it and physically, he switches back & forth between not being able to stay still to being so out of it that you’d think he was overdosing on drugs.

EDIT: I’d like to add that my son still doesn’t have good insight. His delusions are still 100% true to him and he doesn’t think the meds do anything for him. However, I have told him that he has a better chance of getting disability and other kinds of help if he accepts treatment, and he does acknowledge that not sleeping can become a problem and that he has anxiety.

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Thank you for your personal story. I am sorry you have been through so much. I look at your story and it shows me how much more of this I have to go through. That makes me tired LOL. My husband has been having these delusions since January 2015…so 2 yrs now. It has not gotten any better and he still says nothing is wrong with him. I have mentioned the disability part that he could get it if they can see he is sick. He said OH SO YOU JUST WANT DISABILITY FROM ME’ AND I there is nothing wrong with me.

Anyway, over the last two yrs he has been a functional SZ. He cooks daily, mops/sweets daily (all routine to him). He takes a bath most times without me telling him. But when he goes through the bad episodes I look at him and its like something took over his body. He is sitting there so sad and lost inside. I want to hold him tight and telling him its okay but he would never let that happen of course. I feel sooooo bad for him. But he won’t listen to me. I feel the only way to get him in a hospital is to call someone out and he go involuntarily IF they do that here. I have looked up some laws today but it really didn’t shed a lot of light yet.

My husband has urges to talk. But not about his delusions. It is like I leave him alone and go to my sons room and my son and I entertain ourselves because my husband don’t want to be bothered. But many days my husband comes in the back of the house with us just to tell us something quick. Or just to look around. It is like he wants me to give him attention. I have even been surprised at least 3 times when he asked me “do I want to watch a movie with him”. Of course, not touching him or acting like is my husband. I sit on one couch and he sits on another (just like my husband likes it). Because to him, we are not together. We are not separated/not married. whatever. I never know what to expect from him. Does he want my attention, does he not. I don’t know.

Anyway, most days he is functional, some days he is not. If he goes through an episode like that over the summer I will have to ask someone to keep my son. My husband keeps my son when I am at work and my son is off school. So far so good. But not if he goes through a bad spell.

Have you read “I’m Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help”?

Maybe a different strategy of what you’re saying or how you’re saying it might work? The book might give you some other ideas.

And, it could be that your husband will ignore what you say, but if someone else said exactly the same thing to him, he’d listen.

It’s a hard thing to deal with. You’re always second guessing yourself no matter what you do.

I did see someone else (or you) talk about that same book. I looked it up on Amazon and its $20. I guess I need to get it. I also saw an article about a movie called “God knows where I am” that came out in 2016 I want to see. The lady lived in an abandoned house for a year or two and all she had to do was step next door to family to get help. She wrote a diary the whole time she was there. She was found dead with her diaries beside her. It tells her view of things as a SZ.

Hi Kathy,
I was just thinking of you. How is your Sumer going?
I hope you have a happy 4th!
Jenn (Jan)

My son has sz, and my husband has mixed delusional disorder. What you have described in this April 19th post is exactly what my husband has. He eventually got to the point that he was secretly video taping me to prove I was cheating. Told me once that he had proof on the video, that he saw the man I was supposedly cheating with on it. When I asked him to show me, there was no one on the video but me. He swore that he had seen it though. People with this disorder do see things that aren’t there in reality. In the end, I was sleeping with half my neighborhood and almost every man I came into contact with through my work. Ridiculous, but supposedly I was also trying to kill him. This is a very dangerous condition, and after a couple of hospitalizations, he went to stay with his family, about 19 hours drive from where my son and I live. He is medicated, and though he doesn’t believe I cheated anymore, he is still convinced that there are people out there trying to kill him. My point in telling you this is that no matter what, you must protect your son.

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@Leiann, my husband, my son’s father, had something similar.

He was like that about the cheating, and would randomly think people were against him, but it never went so far as to think they were going to kill him.

He was never hospitalized for it and never medicated. A few years ago when he was in his mid 40’s, it just stopped - like a switch was cut off. I think there are more people with this disorder walking around that many people would imagine.

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I bet there is. Unfortunately for my husband, it hit him around age 48 and has not gone away at all. He is on respirodone, and two anti-anxiety meds. He went to extremes and was very close to ending his life because of the fear. Horrible illness and they don’t seem too sure of what to do to help him. Between him and my son’s sz, I have had quite the crash course in mental illness over the past three years!

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I am good. And you? 4th was nice. I took off work!!!

My husband is still in denial and untreated. He once said he saw a youtube video…porn…i was in and was cheating on him. He couldn’t show me the video. So yes, i have had that problem too. We have a similar situation.

Sounds like we do. I didn’t get accused of porn but guess I was sleeping with anywhere from 15-20 different people. :slight_smile: Not funny, but have to laugh sometimes. I hope your husband gets some treatment soon. My husband finally got some help after leaving notes to say good-bye. Caught him hiding the notes in his drawer, then drove him to the hospital. For some reason he agreed to go. Was in for 5 weeks, then 4 weeks the next time. Now he is diagnosed with mixed delusion disorder, yet they are guessing when it comes to meds. On anti-psychotic, anti-depressant, anti-anxiety and sleeping pills. He’s pretty doped up but believes that people (not me) are still trying to kill him. It’s a scary illness. I’m sorry that you are going through all that you are.

I am not sure how to get my husband to agree to go get help. ANYTIME i was to mention he had symptoms and I made it sound like its okay to have them…he would get upset at me and I became the enemy. He said I was just trying to make him look crazy.

So bringing up the fact that he needs help is exactly why I am the enemy now. When it first all started, he said he would go. But a day later I was JUST trying to make him look crazy again. I have not mentioned him needing help in a year now because when I do it just makes things worse.

Have you tried reading I’m Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help by Dr Xaviar Amador?

It might give you some ideas for new approaches.

I’ll look again for the links they provide on this site & post them here if I can find them.

EDIT: This is the thread with the links. I hope they help.

Yes I read the book a month or two ago. But I would try to use the approach IF the accusations where about someone else. But he blames me for cheating or stealing the deed to the house. I can not say “well i know you feel this way but…” That makes it sound as if i did do it and it makes me mad to be blamed for something I didn’t do.

kathyw1981 - there’s some alternate language you can use. People had suggestions on other threads when I was struggling with this issue recently

One thread was How to Respond in a Helpful Manner to a person with disturbing beliefs.

Another was Cognitive Behavior Therapy in regards to voices.

And LEAP help here please? Quickly mid conversation.

So these threads are on this site? I will try and find them.

Yes, enter the names of the thread into the search - that should pull them up.

Okay, I have read at least one of the. Thanks!!