My grandfather is not doing well. He had a rare stroke which he survived, but then developed dementia shortly after, and he has been battling the on sets of Alzheimer’s before the stroke, now it’s really showing. To make things worse the stroke has left him blind, he could see out of one eye the last time we saw him, but he had to hold the eye open with his finger to see anything.
As if that all wasn’t bad enough, they have found he has a tear in his throat that is not letting any foods/liquids in. They were going to repair it but found out that it’s too badly damaged and his options is not to do anything and basically die from hunger, or have a feeding tube hooked up to him. He’s already told my mom he doesn’t want to do anything, so I don’t know what’s going to happen or how much longer he has. I don’t want him to be in pain, that’s no way to live, but it’s very sad thinking that he is dying. I was close with him. He’s 89 years old or at least will be in September if lives that long, but I doubt he’ll live until his 89th birthday.
He was in the navy, and station out in California but never went to war. He was married to my grandmother for over 40 years until her death in 2001. He then married his second wife, who also died (Grandma had diabetes and other aliments, and his second wife died of pancreatic cancer). He graduated from Notre Dame and for most of his life worked in finances. My mom was born in California, and several years later he and my grandma had my uncle. He was also very active in his church, even though my Grandmother was Catholic he never left his Presbyterian faith.
It’s hard to think of someone who was so strong (mentally) be in the state he’s in now. It is not who he was. It is a bit selfish if I say I’d want him to stay alive on feeding tubes, but I know that is not the type of life he deserves. I wish I could do something to make sure he is not suffering, or will not suffer for much longer. I also know how hard this is on my mother, and how hard it must be on my uncle. My uncle has been given power attorney of my grandfather’s finances, but my mom has power over health. It’s a very unstable time for my family, and this is why I made my post earlier about taking some time away from the site. We’re going to Chicago to see him this weekend (if he survives that long), I just don’t know what I can do to help.