Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

A schizophrenic broke my heart


#1

Are schizophrenics known for breaking hearts? If so why? What brings you guys to do it? What’s your reasoning?


#2

Usually I’m the one left with a broken heart.


#3

Human beings break each other’s hearts. It’s not the sole purview of sz. Sometimes people aren’t right for each other, sometimes people don’t have the same visions for the future, sometimes people drive others away when they stop listening to each other. Sometimes it just happens.

Don’t blame the illness for this. Try to use this time to take care of yourself.


#4

Could you please explain? Is he sick or did he just leave?

I’m sza (schizophrenic + a mood order, in this case bipolar) and I have done some sht. Not intentional sht but some sh*t.

I was off and on at the rate of at least once a day with C (who I’m currently engaged to) for about a year when we first started dating.

I’ve nearly left him out of jealousy (I unlocked his phone and decided that he was cheating on me because he sent some girl a smiley). That was hell. I tried to hack into his facebook a few days ago. He can barely talk to another girl without me freaking out.

He says that every time I have a med change it’s like I’m a different person.

I get really, really mad over the strangest things (that might be just me though). Sometimes I get mad for no reason at all. (I just get upset and snap at him a little).

There are other things I do too.

I always go and lie down next to him until he goes to sleep if we have different sleep schedules.

He doesn’t like sweets but it isn’t a birthday without a cake! So I bake one myself with home made frosting.

I try (my lithium has been lowered so hopefully this will get better) to stay in shape for him.

I’m loyal

I appreciate everything he does for me

and I try to be the best person I can be for him no matter what med I’m on.

I wouldn’t say (from what I’ve seen on here) that we’re any kind of debonair playboy types. I think our hearts are more likely to be broken than the other way around. Most of us are very vulnerable and a lot of people like to take advantage of it.


#5

I don’t think any of us do it on purpose. But you can’t be in a stable relationship until you’ve reached a certain level of personal growth, and that growth tends to take longer for us because of all our extra obstacles.


#6

Same here. The last woman I dated dumped me on Facebook. Cool huh?!


#7

That’s a big statement. But some of us have a different view of reality that we can’t really help having. And that may get in the way of our personal relationships with people. It’s not something we do on purpose, and it shouldn’t be a label we should have. I personally feel people with SZ and SZA don’t really know how to handle intimate relationships until a certain point because of the complexities of the actual illness. Most of us have trouble loving and understanding ourselves, so doing the same to another person may be hard.


#8

Other way around is my experience…heart broken every time I’ve loved and when I love it’s unconditional. Yes I have to own up to having been an oblivious stupid ass more often than not and yes I’ve hurt people because of this illness or because the stars just didn’t f***ing align right…or maybe because I’ve been hurt in so many ways and not been able to heal and adapt…that last ones it.

But yes I could see someone with this illness breaking someone’s heart. It’s heartbreaking in and of it’s self. Currently…after having my heart broken by everyone I’ve loved more than myself my own family (parents, sister, niece etc…are now for reasons unclear to me…breaking my broken heart.)

So I guess I’d just though sympathize with anyone whose been hurt…I’d like to share that I have so many regrets of hurting others for no other reason than what was going on in my head at the time…it’s a painful and confusing thing to be going through. Perhaps there is or will be regret on the other party’s side down the road?


#9

I’ll share this…I have an ex fiancé who commited suicide (she was bi polar) and I never got to make things right with her and it still eats at me to this day (was it me?)

It was a brief and intense relationship in which I wasn’t in my right mind. Even the fiancé part is murky as her mother gave me the ring and I don’t think I even proposed…just woke up with her and the ring next to me. But she always after that introduced me as such.

I just found her obit one day years later…


#10

You just had a break up… don’t blame the illness… don’t wrangle us in with your ex… we’re not the same as him just because we have the same very broad label…

go find a girlfriend if you need a shoulder to cry on


#11

Same with me…I normally don’t even bother with relationships anymore. Been hurt too many times before.
Besides you don’t have to be Schizophrenic to break hearts regularly.


#12

Please be nice. She’s hurting. Isn’t it better for her to ask than to just decide ‘oh they’re all jerks’ without giving the matter a second thought?


#13

meh fuck off… she stigmatizing and stereotyping…

It’s just a break up… happens to every one.


#14

Really? Are you really going to sit there and say that? For starters, that’s an incredibly rude way to respond to a request, second off, don’t you remember what it was like to be young and in love? I don’t know how much experience you’ve had with this, maybe men just don’t feel it the way women do but it is a big deal. She obviously loved this man very much. Thirdly, aren’t you just playing into the whole ‘rude an unfeeling’ stereotype with this?

Stigmatizing means you think less of the person because of their illness. She loves this man and wants him back. How is that stigmatizing? Is it really a true case of stereotyping if she brings it up hoping to break it?


#15

She’s bringing stigma to schizophrenics by saying we all break hearts.

Women are actually known to get over relationships MUCH MUCH faster than men.


#16

I guess schizos are d bags :smile:

signing off


#17

She isn’t going up to people and saying, oh don’t date that guy. I dated that sz and he broke my heart. She’s looking for answers.

I agree, we do get over it faster than men but it hurts like a bitch. I don’t know what men go through but for women it seems like your world is going to end.


#18

So, are you trying to say that this disease isn’t a huge obstacle to overcome in a relationship? That is definitely not true. We come with our own set of baggage, and that baggage can hurt people if we haven’t learned how to properly handle it. Some people have a harder time than others, and it sounds like her ex is on the extreme side. She’s looking for insight, not trying to paint us all with the same brush.

Maybe you’ve never broken a heart by being unable to control your illness, and that’s great for you. But a lot of us have hurt our loved ones at least once when we were at our sickest.


#19

to each there own… I don’t let my illness affect things like that… though I do get snappy and short fused at times… that’s typically brought on by my allergies to stupidity…

my mom can’t drive… pisses me off

dumb fucking people who are every where pisses me off…

people who don’t understand human interrelations and lopsided relationships and all this crap pisses me off…

These people who show up on here to whine about their schizo exes or negligent current partners piss me off…

The schizos themselves should be on here… this place is about the fucking illness not relationship advice


#20

Well, technically speaking, the family section is for exactly that. Advice on how to maintain a relationship with someone who has sz, whether it’s a family relationship or a romantic one. There are a lot of lost and confused people out there who love someone with sz and want to know how to deal with the specific challenges we bring to the table. If you don’t like reading about that stuff, you should probably avoid the family section, because this is the reason it exists.