Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Address or let go

#1

One of my co workers mentioned she is going for disability due to a slew of health issues but that money was an issue for her and that’s why she waited this long to file for disability. I have always been very supportive of her health issues. Long story short, she went onto say, “yeah it’s bad enough that my husband is already on, oh I can’t think of what it’s called, it’s what crazy people get”. She was referring to SSI.

Well my heart sank, I know I should be used to peoples ignorance and apathy by now, especially when it comes to issues regarding mental illness, but it still hurt. And I’ve always been suppprtive of her issues with her health, her marriage, etc

Very few people know about my son’s illness, I chose it this way. I felt most comfortable taking this route. No one @ my Work knows.

But I can’t help but wonder, if she DID know, would she still have said that? Most likely not, but not because she had empathy, but because I’m her boss.

It’s such a shame that society can’t talk about this openly without being afraid of the stigma. All part of my trying to shield my son from the ugliness that I know exists in this world.

I have to be honest here, it will be tough at her next review for a raise which is decided by me. But I also know I need to be fair and judge her solely on her work performance. And she is a dependable, hard-working person.

I know two wrongs don’t make a right, and I have to try hard to remember that.

2 Likes

#2

I can understand both sides of the issue. I’m only aware and tolerant of mental illness now because of my daughter’s problem. Up until 3.5 years ago, I would have been perhaps the ignorant crass person who made rude comments about crazy people to my boss. I wonder how many people I made feel bad in the past 50 years of my life before she got ill and I was FORCED to learn that severe mental illness even existed…

4 Likes

#3

It’s interesting isn’t it?
I believe it depends where you are…
When I lived in Santa Cruz it was a lot easier to be honest about mental illness
It’s one of the best place to be wif you have mental problems
There is an abundance of mentally ill there
And a huge amount of caregivers!
It’s really like a shaman town…
It was really cool how open we can be about everything!
Lots of cool people
But since moving back to LA
I noticed we have to be more conservative about these issues but not to everybody!skillful
And that’s alright!
Because this isn’t Santa Cruz…
Anyways
I hope this helped
Also
Social media is a tough one
Because your vulnerability is heightened depending the people you have added or not added
Maybe you can only have higher conscious truly understanding people on your social media!
Anyways
It’s a strange world we Live in!
Good luck!

2 Likes

#4

Walls are created to protect yourself from psychopaths
Open skies were created to let angels in

2 Likes

#5

@TheSunshineMaras, I’ve read a couple of your articles that you posted about how some villages in other countries all come together to help the afflicted. Actually I think countries like India do that. Ironically, the doctor who treated my son in hospital the last time he was admitted in October /2018 is Indian. The most compassionate, kind, smart, and empathetic doctor (as far as doctors go), that I have ever met. He is the one who CALLED ME, I did not have to chase after him like the other doctors. He really seemed to understand each individual case and was very good at matching up the patient with what he thought would work best as far as meds. In other words, he truly seemed to CARE, it was not just a job. And so far, he did not fail us. He was a tiny man, only 5’3”, (my son is 6’3”). It was comical to see the 2 of them interacting
when I visited my son in hospital. He is the one who told me about the overwhelming tolerant culture and acceptance of the afflicted in other countries, in general, some of the more underdeveloped countries. Over there, they do not shun or fear them, they EMBRACE them and they all gather to help and do what they can for the MI, WITHOUT MEDS. I don’t think these meds are as easily accessible as they are here. How I wish we even had some little semblance of that compassion and group effort here. It’s a hateful society we live in. We have a lot to learn as far as human compassion.

5 Likes

#6

@TheSunshineMaras, for me walls are created to protect my son from ignorant, unkind people. I’m now on the “other side” with my son. I see others who are deemed “normal” as the true psychopaths.

I read on here somewhere a quote someone posted, I think it said something to this effect: “this illness falls on the kindest, most beautiful souls”.

My son bares his soul everyday, there’s never any pretense or fakeness. I don’t think he was this way before he got sick. He was just playing the game of life and following like everyone else and simply just trying to fit in. But now, his “realness”, even @ his worst, seems to overshadow everything that is bad about this illness, and his kind soul still shines thru.

6 Likes

#7

For sure!
I totally agree with everything you said!!
And really happy you have a really cool doctor now!
That’s such a blessing !its so hard to get a good doctor now a days that’ll be sweet and work with you and your needs!..
We are convinced our new doctor is a demoness
That is in it for the money…
We had some pretty cool doctors back when we lived in Santa Cruz
I don’t recommend balboa mental health…
Place gives us the chills…
Yeah I remember that article!
That is the best!
To live in a community that accepts the mentally ill!
They are out there !believe me!
Santa Cruz ca is one of them!
I was a job coach working along side the mentally Ill
Seriously the sweetest people I’ve met

2 Likes

#8

@TheSunshineMaras, a good hearted doctor, a good nutritionist, and of course our mentally ill loved ones’ willingness to try different options to try to improve their quality of life (including CBT, talking therapy, supplements, etc) would be my fantasy come true. The first two scenarios there is hope, the last one is the tough one. Their refusal and stubbornness to even consider some of these options is just so hard to deal with.

2 Likes

#9

That does sound perfect… my daughter is interested in anything that could help… particularly aromatherapy at the time… foods that are helpful…
Some supplements are not cheap for a limited budget (tied up by debt). And to find a doctor that is open to more than traditional medication… medication had its place for some people, but to find a doctor that is open to all possibilities…
When I told my doctor about my insomnia, she told me to try melatonin…she could have just as easily prescribed some sleeping pill! I have found a time release version of melatonin and lavender essential oils have helped me with my insomnia…
I am interested in everything that would be beneficial for my daughter’s mind… and mine for my ADHD. The nurse practitioner at the Inpatient psych ward that prescribed haldol for my daughter is hopeful that with continued psychotherapy, she might eventually be able to depend less on medication and may someday might not need it… it will be Interesting to see how the outpatient psychiatrist will be when she sees him in April…

1 Like

#10

The fear of dealing the stigma of being labeled as mentally ill was one of the roadblocks that my daughter had to deal with before accepting help from a psychiatrist and medication…
it is starting to bug me more how MI is portrayed in movies and television… in murder mysteries, it is often the MI person who is the culprit… often portrayed as extremely disturbed… I like the mystery genre and I would watch a show where the detective is the one with the MI as long as he (or she) would be portrayed favorably. “Monk” came close to this, but in a way, he was sort of “made fun of”.

1 Like

#11

Yes totally understand that
Is your loved one taking sarcosine?
Just curious…
Supposibly sarcosine helps with ODD

2 Likes

#12

@Windyhill63,

That is wonderful…that your daughter is willing to try different options, you are very lucky. I wish my son was.

I’m also curious about aromatherapy, my son would never do it, but for myself. The lady @ the health food store said lavender is the way to go for insomnia. I also suffer from insomnia and I’m not one for popping pills so I’m goimg to try the lavender oil (couple of drops on the pillow or on a cotton ball and leave in room).

I also agree finding a doctor who is not only caring but open to ALL possibilities for the good of the patient is so huge (not only into injections and a slew of pills-just take out the prescription pad). The very first hospital stay where my son was in for 3 months, he came home with 5 different bottles of pills and also a monthly injection on top of that! Come on! Ridiculous!

We eventually did away with the injection, but it wasn’t easy. I had to go in front of a board of 5 doctors from hospital and ask them to please reduce some of these meds! Is my son an animal or some sort of a guinea pig? Some of them had the effect of horse tranquilizers, and all he did was sleep for 18 hours a day! How can a human body tolerate so much in their system and not have it interact and be counterproductive? More detrimental than helpful in my opinion.

Sounds like you found a good doctor, she is trying to help you the natural way, FIRST.

Hopefully the NP and the OP psychiatrist will be in agreement, as far as the meds go. Please do not let him prescribe the highest dose of anything right away, always question it to see if your daughter can start on the lowest dose of whatever. They can always increase it, so why start so high, right?

I hope your daughter can eventually be free of meds and still function well, and I think her openness and willingness to try different options is huge and 3/4 of the battle.

1 Like

#13

They started my daughter in a low dosage of haldol and since she responded well to it, they decided not to increase it at this one.

1 Like

#14

I am very interested in trying Sarcosine for my daughter and me…
But on a very tight budget even $23 a bottle is high…

2 Likes

#15

Rosemary oil is supposed to help with cognitive stuff…

1 Like

#16

Is it possible that her husband has a mental illness dx and she is just kind of letting off steam by saying that? Just a thought; I have no clue.

I’m sorry you had to hear something so hurtful.

3 Likes

#17

@TheSunshineMaras

I would love to try that for my son, but I would have to hide it in his food. He would never willingly just try something new.

I did mention to his therapist, and her reply was rather odd. She said “well, a lot these supplements that people are all excited about can be found in foods anyway”. So, is she for them or against them? I’m going to ask her again next time we go. She also said she’d never heard of Sarcozine.
But I’m hearing really good things about it on here and from reading about it. It appears a lot of doctors who treat sz are behind it.

@Windyhill63, yes I looked it up on amazon. It’s like a powdery substance, and I agree, very pricey.

1 Like

#18

@Hereandhere, I believe he was on early SSI as a result of an injury from a car accident. Like I said, I feel I have been more than sympathetic and empathetic towards her personal situation based on everything she told me. But I’m sure she is not a mean spirited person, she just doesn’t understand nor can she relate to any of this. She is not in my shoes.

She is a hard worker, and is very dependable, when I ask her to do something, she will drop everything and do it. So yes, I will be giving her a raise. I cannot let my personal situation take away from the fact that she is a great employee.

1 Like

#19

The world is filled with ignorance…
But there are people who understand out there …
And even better ,there are communities that collectively understand…
People can be real mean …
Especially more in the city…where schizophrenia is more prominent
His life would change if he had sarcosine
That amino acid was one of the most life changing
If you can get him to take NAC Ltheanine and sarcosine everyday in one
They work synergistically
He would be less ODD
At least that’s what worked for our case…
Sarcosine and all of the above I mentioned was some of the most helpful in our dark times…
We don’t take them anymore now
Because clean eating distilled water and kundalini yoga has been even better…
But again like you mentioned
What he’s willing to try…
And of course it’s probably easier getting him to take something than it is getting him to do something…
I hope it works out well for you!

1 Like

#20

Yeah a lot of the psychiatrist don’t know what akathasia or dystonia is either
Fairly common
Some of them don’t care about alternatives…
You’ll be so lucky if they did!

1 Like