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Am I doing my son any good at all?


#1

I feel so frustrated. My son lives thousands of miles from me and he is completely delusional in every way that you can imagine. I always thought if I talked to him as often as possible, perhaps he might stay in some kind of reality, But lately, he has decided that everyone around him is secret service there to protect him. ( he is getting ready to be crowned king of the world) the radio speaks directly to him, He is about to be a billionaire in the next day or so.Everyone that is on the earth knows that he’s famous but no one is allowed to talk about it to him. Also, 2 nights ago he called me to tell me there is a contract on his life and that he wants me to know when he dies it was murder! (but now he has the secret service so he might be ok for a while}
He doesn’t bath or eat properly. he has no money.
I feel like when I talk to him he just rambles and talks in circles. Sometimes I feel like I’m gong to go crazy because of this awful discusting thing that has happened to him and God only knows where he will end up or how he can ever get better.
I really try to take care of myself because there are times that this completely overwhelms me.
I just can’t talk to him tonight.
Does it help him to stay in reality if I talk to him?
Thanks for reading this. I sincerely appreciate this community beyond words.


#2

I’m so sorry that you are going through this. I believe and have been told by Doctor that yes, we should always try to talk to them and bring them back to reality. Sometimes it is fruitful and sometimes not so much.

Taking care of yourself along the way will help you have the energy to help him. I hope our sons get the help they need.


#3

It is so sad to talk to them when they are so sick. We get sick with worry. I think you should keep talking to him, as painful as it is ,and continue to to try to get him help and medication. Since you are trying to do what you can to help him, he has more of a chance of getting some help. My son is stable for now, but I remember how horrible and helpless I felt when he was delusional and wouldn’t get help. It is a worry still everyday, but hang in there and just remember that it is the illness, not them doing all of this stuff. Hugs to you and your son.


#4

Was there any one thing that changed and helped them finally take their medication?


#5

Not easy here, ask him for the number of his best friend if he has one, tell him you want to talk to his friend, give it a shot, ask the friend to help direct him to a hospital…


#6

Hi Mom 2 I think what makes my 22 year old son take his meds now is that he is scared he will end up in jail or hospital again. He said the other day that he would like to go off his meds one day , but he felt it was too risky any time soon. When he started to become psychotic in Jan 2014, he wouldn’t go to doctor or think of taking meds. He thought all voices were real and I could go on and on about all the scary and horrible things that were happening till he finally went to jail for 3 weeks and then a week to state mental hospital. That was 2 and a half years ago and when he first got out of hospital he wasn’t that great about taking his meds, but the voices would get so bad that he started taking his meds every day because he is afraid of what will happen. He still gets episodes about 3 times a week where he gets really bad anxiety and he stays home most of the time, and doesn’t drive or work, but I consider him much better than in the beginning. We go to lunch, shop and run errands a lot and doc appt.and he recently has one friend from high school he occasionally has over and they play video games or go to a fast food restaurant.He reads and watches videos and goes outside to smoke a lot. Sometimes we take a walk with the dog. I feel fortunate that he is stable and med compliant, but I never take that for granted because I know it could change in an instant. We all know how much we love our sons and hope this helped a little.


#7

Always keep in touch with him and always tell him you love him because if you can somehow get him on medication,
you will realize why. It’s a hard road for all who have son’s and daughters with this terrible disease but,please don’t give
up on him.
I have talked to my son and psychiatrist about using earphones and my son swears by them and acute hearing can
be one facet of the disease in some people. If you can,try sending him a Walkman with earphones { and extra batteries }
and talk to him about trying to use it and it might help. I don’t know if it will but it can’t hurt him. If he has one friend where he lives,try to get him to
help him start using the Walkman.
I hope this makes you feel a little better. Any time you need to talk,just send me a letter and i will reply.
All of my thoughts are with you, your son and all others on this site.
Good Luck


#8

Is he homeless? where he lives, do they have intervention? I live in NJ and in my county we have a psychiatric evaluation team that will go to where ever someone is located to evaluate them and if necessary, take them to the hospital. I have had to call many times for my husband to the point that some of the social workers know me by my first name. I would look into what is available in his area and try and get him help…most are not willing to go to the hospital on their own. Good Luck, I hope he gets help soon.


#9

Call the police asap so they can do a well being check on him if you know what city he is currently at?
I would also file a missing police report with Police department if you are not sure where he is exactly he is at. try contacting the police tin your area and ask for advice.

Tell the police that you are very worried about him being a danger to himself and to others.

this way, if the police finds him or someone else finds him, he will taking to Hospital


#10

Ginger-u from Jersey?
I grew up in Monmouth County, Middletown, NJ


#11

Yes, NJ…ocean county


#12

My son was living in los Angeles and us in New York. He went there to peruse his drumming. A few months after he arrived, it happened, he drastically changed, sent me an email, I thought he might commit suicide. so I flew out there.planned on staying two weeks, left in less then a week because of his bizarre behavior, sometimes he was ok. By the end of the year he had been hospitalized due to that, but could only keep him 72 hours. He ended up ccoming back home, a d until he got on medication, which had to be court ordered, it was and up and down battle. Everytime be went off his meds, he would do crazy things, and have to be hospitalised,ed and put back on his .meds now 5 years later he is doing great, takes his meds, goes to see his therapist and psych doctor and goes to gym. Unfortunately, these .meds do have many side affects , one being you put on weight and they can make you unproductive. He is on SSD and does not work, but he seems ok with his life as it is and enjoys the family, and goes out with his friend from high school, that happens to be a RN in a psych hospital, so understands…he is now 31. So see if he can come home, my son was paranoid, but got him a plane ticket and he now has a studio apartment in our house and all is well.


#13

Yes, being in contact with your son is good. I don’t know whether we can help with the illness much more than as basic support, but everybody on earth needs people who love them by their side, whether near or far. You are helping him by loving him and keeping in touch.