It’s frustrating not having any help at all from the other parent. In my case, the other parent doesn’t even call or see his daughter and he lives just a little over an hour away. She is 25 and got sick nearly 5 years ago and he saw her once in this 5 years, for the first time since she was about 13. He doesn’t even send birthday or Christmas cards. I often think how much more stable she may be if her relationship with her father were better. I am doing my best that I know how.
I’m not a single parent although my husband is my kid’s step-dad. I can’t imagine having to deal with all this alone.
My son lives with me, or was until last week and my daughter lives with their father.
I don’t know if things would be easier if my son’s father was more involved or not. We live pretty much on opposite sides of Canada. Phone calls are sparse. My son calls his dad when things are bad. His father has little to no understanding of schizophrenia.
All you can do is the best that you know how.
How is your daughter doing?
My mother was a single parent through a good portion of my early years of illness. She tried her best but I was very ill and out of control. The courts had to intervene.
I lived with her off and on after that and she married again which helped some.
It is a tough situation. You can only do your best. Find support where you can.
Thanks. She isn’t doing well. She has schizo-affective disorder. Earlier this year she was getting the Invega injections and held down a good paying part-time job. Then she started not going for the injections and became unstable and quit that job and started another and didn’t work there two weeks before she decided not to go back. At home she was hallucinating and seeing people on the porch and backyard. She has had weird behavior. One day she was crying for six hours. Twice this summer she was sent to the hospital and from there they ended up transferring her strapped down by ambulance to the local behavioral center where both times she was so-called “stabilized” and let out. This past time they were going to keep her longer and put her in a program to help her become independent but they didn’t have an available bed so they put her on assisted outpatient treatment where she is court ordered to take her meds. She is supposed to take two 400MG of Seroquel pills at bedtime but I counted and it looks like she is only taking one. She doesn’t sleep for days. She stays in her room and plays music and has conversations with her voices. She barely eats and hasn’t showered in days. I am almost positive drugs were a problem earlier in the summer, however she tested clean when she was treated. They must have been out of her system. Sometimes I think she doesn’t want to get better. I get frustrated when she is like this. Thanks for asking,
Thank you. I probably will look for support through NAMI,
L I too am going through this alone. My heart goes out to you because I know how hard this is. In my case my son attacked me last year and tried to kill me. I was scared to death of him for months and was just recovering when he starting having another break this weekend. I have a daughter but she really doesn’t care because they are 14 years apart in age. She is 41 and he is 27. I texted her (because I thought she might be asleep) about my problem this weekend and she couldn’t even call to see how I was until yesterday which is her regular day to call me every week. I am finally going to a NAMI support group meeting tonight as I cannot keep doing this alone maybe you should try this also. I will keep you in my prayers. Just keep hanging in there without us they have no support either.
It is tough indeed! My son’s dad lives several states away - he calls me when he is concerned and tries to push his agenda onto me. My husband avoids getting involved, since it is unlikely my son’s dad would accept anything he did.
Yes, when they are dangerous to themselves or others its very difficult, when you are single. I don’t know any part that it easy. I hear others that aren’t single and different symptoms and I find that though different, its tough for them too. I’m so traumatized, If I could get off work I would love counseling. I too, have ran off all my friends from venting. We are in 4 years and his dad has never been in his life, but last year denied he had an illness, would tell him stupid stuff. You need a job, a girlfriend. Its a real hacker when family makes you the bad guy. He has come around some, my son didn’t want to live with him but would run to him because he would reinforce no meds, nothing wrong with you. I literally had to shut everyone out (the ones that had turned their back on us) to take care of business, But you are stronger than you think. I have taken care of things that were difficult for couples. Your loved one probably doesn’t know how to help themselves, I finally come to determination that you have to take it out of their hands if they are uncapable of getting their own treatment. My son was losing the battle and wasn’t going to make it. He goes suicidal in a heartbeat unmedicated, jumps out of cars going down the highway, dumps pills of any kind down the hatch. I spent so many after work hours handling traumatic emergencies, I was the walking dead. When hospitalized, reality finally got to soak in because my life was just trauma. But he was hurting more than I was. Sorry, turned into a venting exercise. I have learned it takes much longer and you are starting new with boundaries, rules and consistency. My son was easier as a child, It takes time. God Bless.
Also, Police, Psychiatrist office, Court house and ER and hospital they know and hate to see me coming. I get a little attitude but its always something new. One time I counted 22 mg Xanax overdose and they told me he wasn’t a danger, helped him run away from the ER. He was then reported running into traffic. A friend called and said He’s trying to get himself killed. Sometimes you have to jump through hoops, I’m an acrobat. God Bless