Last night while I was at work (I work 3rd shift) my husband calls me and says (2:30 am) our fire alarms are going off because the microwave was on fire. My 26 year old son was heating up something and left it. He evidently didn’t put water in the dish and it started on fire. He was in the bathroom when it was happening. He could have burned our house down. It seems he can’t be left alone at all. He can’t follow through on anything he’s told. He can’t throw away empty cups or battles, he goes in and out of the house like he forgot something… It’s like he’s intentionally not doing what he’s told but he doesn’t have a clue. He is getting worst… He’s been diagnosed Schizo-Affective. He’s been suffering from this for 5 years. He’s on meds that he takes (we make sure). I almost feel like I need to quit my job to be with him 24/7. I have 6 years left to retire. My husband runs his own small business… What should I do? I’m so lost.
I support my 26 year old SZ daughter and her bf in an apartment, put him in a trailer out back, apartment, dont quit your job, bad move as you will go insane, buy him a house or condo…
If you feel he is getting worse than i suggest you tell his doctor as maybe his meds need adjusting .Do you have any member of family to check in on him when you are at work ? My son has schizoaffective disorder too and paces all the time , it stressing me out . He lives 5 min from me as its impossible to live together because of his rages . Its a hard one and im sorry you are going through this . You need to ask yourself if you can you afford to quit or can you afford to get help for someone to keep an eye on him . I heard about group homes as they look after them but personally no one will look after them as well as we do . I txt my son to remind him many things every day and it helps , maybe write sticky notes where he should be reminded (like the micro ) hang in there one day at a time
My son’s attention span has issues with the oven. When we built a garage apartment for him we didn’t install an oven. Stovetop cooking, like eggs, he does fine, he just can’t remember stuff in the oven.
My Sz husband used to burn things in the microwave all the time.
Up and down the stairs. In and out of the house. Rocking, stepping. I think my son finds comfort in swaying when he is standing. Its uncomfortable for him to stand still. But loves lying still, in bed and just breathing.
Forgetfulness is super common. Exhausting for the family. As an adult he has to be his own person. And accepted for who he is, not reminded of who he
used to be.
We have been looking into the Tiny Houses. That would be ideal.
I’ve looked into tiny houses, they can be tricky because of zoning laws. Many are legally RV travel trailers and many cities and counties restrict how long people can live in RV’s even on their own property. There’s another sort that are more akin to overgrown sheds. Sometimes there are loopholes for such structures when you own the property. You can risk skirting zoning laws, but I think a low profile might be hard to maintain.
Mobile homes have far fewer restrictions in rural areas. They have far longer legal history and are accepted and more ‘invisible’ than a tiny home. Either way you need to be mindful of repairability and durability. The SMI can be very hard on dwellings.
It’s something to look into. I have a feeling he won’t be able to take care of himself anyway. He can’t even keep his room picked up. He leaves dishes laying around, clothes and bath towels all in the floor of his room and he leaves food out. We have 2 cats and a small dog that will get into everything. He has to be told to put things up (more than once).