My fiance has slowly become an irritable jerk. Who appears to use his diagnosis as an excuse to not do anything. He has always contained avout certain things buy has been able to put them side to be a helpful s.o. however, as of late, since the diagnosis, he seems to use it as an excuse to avoid anything he doesn’t want to do. Something as simple as getting off the couch to take a picture of something in the basement is something beyond his capabilities. Being new to the diagnosis I’m trending on thin ice manuvering around having an actual conversation and setting him off. How do I tell the difference between him being lazy and an actual sz behaviors?
Mentally ill people are capable of being jerks just like the rest of us. No pass there.
BUT…step into his world for a minute. The diagnosis may be the straw that broke the camels back and he does not have the mental energy to “act normal” that he has been expending in the past. Try to have a conversation with him about what it is like to be him.
What is normal for us, takes on a whole new dimension with the thought processes of sz. And if he is taking antipsychotics, chances are they are sapping his energy.
So as simple as you think getting off the couch to take a picture of something in the basement may well be beyond his capabilities for now.
Thank you for your advice. The diagnosis is new and I’m becoming very thankful for finding this site and the support from other family members and caregivers. This is a difficult situation for myself as I feel very out of the loop in regards to what he is going through and how to approach him. in the same retrospect, as you stated, I can’t imagine what he is dealing with right now either. It is a learning process for sure.
At early stages of my sister’s affliction, she couldn’t get up from her bed easily in the morning, most of the time she just didn’t and she couldn’t do so many things around the house, she was very grateful that I was showing patience, understanding and love towards her by me taking over whatever house work she couldn’t do… she went worse when she lived with members of the family who unfortunately ignorantly gave her “tough love” and judged her for not being able to do things… I’m no angel, I had moments of misunderstandings too but I didn’t know her illness when she wasn’t diagnosed yet.
However, even for mentally healthy people, let’s say someone has off days and lack energy or not in the mood, it won’t help if others judge or become irritable. Right?
I’m schizoaffective bipolar type. My ability to function has declined over the years. After a major psychotic break almost 2 years ago, I became unable to do things I had been able to before.
I am slowly getting to a “normal” stable. But I still find doing a lot of things too overwhelming. I don’t shower as I should, my house is a wreck right now, I barely keep things together as a homemaker. My husband used to think I’d become super lazy. But no…it’s really the illness that makes everything so overwhelming.