My son is 38 years old and has been treated for schizophrenia for 10 years. I have been his care giver for most of that time. We have lived in India where I worked for a school for almost 30 years.
I am in my 70’s now and can no longer keep up with his care. We are U.S. citizens from Texas.
I need to bring him back to the U.S. to find residential or long-term hospital care for him somewhere in the U.S. Texas has a horrible track record for mental health care and he is going to need some public assistance.
He has some difficult auditory hallucinations which will most likely get him arrested in the future.
Does anyone know which State or States have better policies and practices when a mentally ill person is arrested? the most decent care facilities for mentally ill people that break the law?
We need to leave India within a few months, and I don’t know where to go.
Thanks,
jlt’s mom
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Is he on meds and compliant with taking them? Does he have, or is willing to learn, any skills? I think I’m asking how functioning is your son, or potentially functioning with treatment and vocational help of some kind. Getting diagnosed at 28 is rather late, which is a positive thing for recovery.
He is not on meds right now. He was compliant for 8 or 9 years but was assessed as being “treatment resistant” and put on Clozapine in 2019. Even with Clozapine, Lithium, Depakote and Fluphenizine injections he was still acting out and unstable about 25% of the time. He was never willing or able to work on line which was his only real option.
About 4 months ago he gave up on meds saying that even with all the medication (with huge weight gain etc) he was still having bad symptoms and he doesn’t see the point.
Of course, he is much worse without them, but he is determined not to take pills.
Had a bad day today…he is in isolation at the psych clinic. I wish it were true that recovery is possible, but it does not look good right now.
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Sorry @mteaver. What you wrote doesn’t sound good. My son went off all his meds at one point, saying he didn’t need them. And he got worse. What does the psychiatrist at the psych clinic think? What do they see as a way forward? From what I know of residential care in the U.S., it’s bad here also. Once effective psychiatric drugs were discovered decades ago, the approach was to close the hospitals and to treat psychiatric patients in the community with drugs. Jail does house someone, but it’s hard for me to see how someone would get better there. Jails and prisons are the biggest custodian of the mentally ill in the U.S. A good book on the subject is Crazy: A Father’s Search Through America’s Mental Health Madness
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Thanks for your reply. The doctors here are going to start him on Invega to see if he can improve with an injectable antipsychotic given once a month.
Jail is not the aim, but if he does end up there I would like him to be in a State that has progressive policies for the mentally ill. That is my question…how do I find those States.
Thanks,
Mary
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The best states are usually very expensive places to live but they are worth it if you have some sort of credential. New York, New Jersey, Washington (not for treatment facilities but for general access and guarantee of care thanks to State insurance policies for the MI and handicapped and other Medicaid Medicare benefits) and Connecticut. Basically anywhere that is a Democrat (i.e Blue) state actually endorses and provides some forms of relief for their MI populations. The only difficulty is making sure you don’t end up in a bad neighborhood as that can and does lead to making the MH issues worse. (i.e access to drugs, unsafe living environments, more likelihood that your son could be scammed or swindled out of money, ect)
katydid5088-bert
Thank you for the concise answer. This is what I wanted to know. The problem is that I am retired (71 years old) and while I have some resources, the places you mentioned could be too expensive. I will continue to look with the help of this information.Sincerely,
Mary Teaver
Hello @mteaver . I live in Pinellas County in Florida. NAMI here is very active. You could call the NAMI locations here and ask your questions. Personally, I think the police and courts here are fair to the mentally ill. My daughter was arrested twice and fairly treated. My husband was in jail for a DUI and one of the “roommates” in his POD (dormitory) was young and very mentally unstable and everyone in the POD was kind to him. The Pinellas County jail in Clearwater, Florida has its own hospital. My daughter was housed in the hospital during her 2nd incarceration until the judge ordered her released to a hospital for involuntary psych hold. That hold was the luckiest thing for us, as that hospital psychiatrist put her on the Haldol monthly injection and the judge court ordered it to continue, and those actions ended her psychosis.
Honestly, I think you should try to move to Pinellas County, Florida. It is a GREAT place for retirees, seniors come here from across the country, there are many homeless shelters, food pantries, soup kitchens, clinics, treatment centers, a “good” jail with a hospital, several hospitals with psych wards, etc. If I was going to be a homeless mentally ill man, I would like to be here. It isn’t a resort, of course, for the mentally ill, but they can exist here in relative peace. Or if in trouble with the law, will probably be fairly handled. Plus you would probably like to live here yourself.
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Thank you so much for all the information. You are so kind to take the time to reply so fully. It does sound like a very good place in many respects.
I’ll call Nami as you suggested.
M.Teaver
Good! Let us know what you decide. Maybe you will get more suggestions or ideas by continuing to read on this site.
Yes, I have been so touched by the kindness of strangers on this site. I wish I had reached out sooner. It really helps not to feel so alone in this situation.
With this illness, it is a constant trek through the unknown gathering information, tips, legal knowledge and kindness from others who KNOW what crazy lives caregivers lead trying to find solutions. Please try to never have regrets, and to believe that you are doing your best even when you can’t find a solution. The mighty governments and history’s best doctors have not solved this illness in thousands of years… So, be kind to yourself that there are things you can’t solve. Do your best, realize that you don’t HAVE to fight this war for your loved one if it damages your own self too badly, and have no regrets. Then, you can be kinder to your ill loved one with no guilt (real or imagined) clouding your own mind.
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You are reading my mind. Thank you for this.
It’s hard to give up on them even when you know there’s no hope of any real improvement.
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The community described above in Pinellas County Florida sounds very good. Does anyone know of a similar place in or near Texas? This is where I have a few friends and a few family members for my own support. Texas does not have good mental health facilities in general, but there might be pockets of good places with good community support.
Any ideas?
Thanks
Honestly, I would say move to where you can be close enough to your friends and family to get support for yourself, but far enough from them that your ill family member won’t taint those relationships, if you are going to be living with your son. You don’t want to be living near your other loved ones if your son is going to cause trouble and act out. Then you would be at risk of losing your outside support. I found that my friends and family stayed away from my home like the plague when my daughter was acting out all the time. You cannot count on the best care for your son helping him, there are NO guarantees with this awful disease. So put your OWN stability first. Move where YOU will be cared for and loved by family and friends, and then love your son the best you can too.
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Yes, this is what my brother says too. My guess is my son probably won’t live with me for long when we get back to the States. His recent pattern is to go off his meds and then it’s not safe for me to live with him. So homelessness, acting out, aggression, jail. Maybe I’m being pessimistic, but based on his past and recent behaviors this is what I see.
This was the reason for my initial question about a good mental health environment for those who go to jail.
After my lifetime, there is no one to take care of him…no family at all that will take responsibility (his father died last year),
There’s no way to predict what will happen and a lot depends on how he responds to his current treatment.
So once again thank you for your support and suggestions. It helps so much to talk about this to someone who doesn’t judge me or pity me.
Sincerely,
mteaver
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The Advocacy Treatment Center has a ranking of states according to thrir mental health laws, and access to treatment. Check them out.
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You are very welcome @mteaver . I come here still to pay it forward as some very good people helped me with their posts when I was losing all hope.
Each caregiver must balance hope with understanding of the reality of schizophrenia. It is no simple curable illness. It is a lifelong disease. It often totally prevents the ill person from having any sort of independent life. But sometimes, just sometimes, there are improvements.
I saw an estate planning lawyer who helped me figure out what I can do for my daughter from beyond my grave, and I implemented those plans while I was ill myself. It gave me a lot of peace. I am 66 and have survived breast cancer. Cancer has killed my parents and grandmother, so I was lucky there too, but cancer made me realize I needed legal plans made for my death.
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Yes, I know what you mean about estate planning. I got that in place for any financial assets that are left after my lifetime, but there is no one with medical poa or overall guardianship. It’s the best I can do for now.
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I will throw in my two cents, even though my brother has me as one of many contingencies for MH care and Tx. We have made plans in case I am even incapacitated. (Severe illness or an untimely death).
We have others willing and able to take over guardian ad litem, and as you don’t have many younger family members to look out for him, checking what resources or counsels/outreach programs can help check in on him. (especially with some sort of socialization as regulars in a coffee shop ect, will very often be able to find him if and when he goes missing, suffers a decline, ect). My family’s children have their own health issues which means caring for my brother is NOT a workable solution.
Of the many times I’ve had to go looking for my brother, his usual street corners and hangouts at the local grocery stores always had other employees and neighborhood visitors who were willing to give a last known location to the police/me.
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