Boyfrend is disorganized schizophrenic


#1

Ive posted on the old forums about my boyfriend who has disorganized schizophrenia in the past. I have been with him from almost 5 years, we have been living together with my 15 year old daughter for almost 2 years now. When we met, he was in the process of divorcing only 6 months after marriage, off his meds and a very heavy drinker. He has been on and off the meds since then up until August of last year (I believe only because I give it to him every night now). Our relationship has been up and down of course and I even left him for about a week in August of last year because he told me I was devoting too much time to my daughter and not enough to him. I came back though because he asked me to. He comes from a catholic family and just like everything else, he has been on and off with practicing. He, also, at my suggestion started an auto mechanic program in August and has been enjoying it and doing very well in his classes. He works part time . In November of this past year, he decided he no longer wanted me in his life because of his religion, I also believe his parents have something to do with things because they help him out financially and his father is catholic and very strict about things. He had an appointment with a priest at his church and luckily the priest wasn’t black and white about everything and basically said its up to us to marry or not…He said there are steps we can take in order for me to become catholic and for us to be married that way,.soon after this meeting, he stopped going to church up until the end of last month…in the past few weeks, he has joined the knights of columbus and has been less affectionate with me ( not less sex, less affection) I decided to approach him about this last night and again he wants to stop having sex unless we are married and AGAIN I told him I was willing to talk to a priest and see if becoming catholic is what I want to do. I kind of expected this once he joined the Knights of Columbus…I just dont know what to do. I feel I’ve been very supportive of him and part of me wants to just leave him so he can see how life will be with someone else, I know I have been through things with him no one else has,I think I’ve been beyond patient and deserve to get back what I’ve put in. I have been financially and emotionally supportive more so than most of his family. I need advice on this…His priest even told him he doesnt want to tell him to tell me leave because he doesnt want him to regret it later. The other thing is, he still drinks and recently almost every night so yes he takes meds but he drinks on top of it and although he may not be drunk everynight, I know it isnt a good thing mixed with Abilify…although he takes a low dose (5mg). I just need some insight and advice. My daughter doesnt want to move out and I feel after so many years I am willing to go through the steps of seeing what catholicism is about but he tends to never finish what he starts and I really dont know if these things are symptoms of the illness or what. all opinions are welcomed. thank you


#2

I remember your story from the old forum. I’m glad you made it here.

I’m sorry things have not gotten any better for the two of you. I’m guessing he is looking for answers and not finding any. I will only caution you that expecting a 50/50 relationship may not be in cards. Only you can decide if you are willing to have a relationship with him based on the current status quo.

Has AA ever been a discussion? He may need some help dealing with his alcohol consumption and may also find some spiritual support and help through the program.


#3

Thank you. No AA has never been a part of the discussion. .things were better but he always does the same thing even friends that have known him for years say hes always second guessing what he does. He comes from a family of big drinkers so i dont see that changing…i agree on the 50/50 thing…seems controlling


#4

I also drank against my disorganization and sensory gating problems, hard to imagine for a normal person that someone can be clearer in the head when drunk.
But no need for that any longer since I’ve been taking quercetin (almost two years now).


#5

Yes its hard to imagine. He used to be much worse. .he is doing bettee now than before. .he is much healthier. He quit smoking pot which is a pretty big accomplishment for him. I dont expect him to be perfect, hes done alot of changing, I guess i need to decide if i want to live his way or not …what is it that you take exactly?


#6

http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/ingredientmono-294-QUERCETIN.aspx?activeIngredientId=294&activeIngredientName=QUERCETIN


#7

Quercetin was an accidental find during a wild experimentation phase with supplements I did from 2010 to 2012. Now I think what matters is the same mechanism that is responsible for its immunosuppressive effect (calcineurin inhibition). On Wikipedia one can read that calcineurin inhibition causes symptoms that resemble negative symptoms in schizophrenia, but so do antipsychotics. In combination with lamotrigine it is effective against negative symptoms for me, but that’s not necessary if one only wants to fight the disorganization. What Wikipedia is right about is that it causes problems in working memory. Whether something is 30 seconds ago or 3 hours is almost the same for me, that’s something one has to get used to.
Not every preparation is OK, one better buys expensive. I take 1.5 g a day.


#8

Thank you. He works at a natural food store so i think he will be open to trying it. He was very much against the Abilify for quite some time and had expressed wanting to find something natural. Sadly he seemed more creative prior to the abilify, hes painted and played guitar for years but it bores him now…maybe its because hes getting older also. Anyway i will buy this myself or suggest it to him. Is this all you take?


#9

I take 600 mg lamotrigine and a minimum dose of olanzapine (2.5 mg, should be equivalent to 2.5 or 5 mg Abilify).
Abilify had worked very well against my disorganization from 15 mg up, but was causing an intolerable weakness.