Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Capgras delusion?


#1

Hello all. My boyfriend has been having a very difficult time with the voices lately. He’s been experiencing a lot of frustration due to the reemergence of suppressed memories as well… From sexual abuse as a child as well as other things… Of course one of the voices is this slime ball uncle. He believes he has had an alien living inside him (thankfully he does no “harm”) since he was young as well. This and that… He has been doing things that make me rather nervous, though… I gave him a beautiful marine issued knife for our anniversary (long story behind it…) but it has disappeared. The night that happened he asked me if he was supposed to eat the dogs… It was very upsetting for me. Of course I stayed calm and just told him no you don’t want to do that you love your dog and he loves and trusts you and you don’t want to hurt him… And he was ok with that. He said ok because he knew he was supposed to listen to me. But now some other small things have begun disappearing… Nothing significant but he is convinced they are being stolen, I think it’s “him”. Yesterday I was catching up with a friend, at the end of the call he was pacing in desperation. Rocking and breathing unsteadily and heavily… And his eyes… Oh his eyes. But then I went into our bedroom and found a jug of gasoline under the bed. He still won’t talk about it, all he says is it wasn’t for me. He told me what he thinks about hen running his chainsaw… Not as sexy for me to watch any more to say the least…
But here is what this all comes down to… He doesn’t think I am ME. I’ve been researching a lot (thanks do much to all of you for your love, support and advice in my last post!) and the Capgras delusion seems to hit home. He really thinks I’m not the girl he met two years ago… He thinks I switched places with her and I’m hiding her somewhere. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even feel like that girl anymore. He says such horrible things trying to get me to confess. He accused my mom of sexually abusing me. About a week ago he “finished” inside me while we were being intimate and, like with the dog situation, I didn’t lose my temper it I expressed how hurt and betrayed I felt. (These are my own confessions… I need to tell someone…) He broke down like a child. But no matter how kind and loving and patient I am he still feels it isn’t me. He feels nothing when he looks at me. He doesn’t smile or pay much attention to me except for brief (what I call) moments of clarity. He doesn’t trust me. It hurts so much… I get that awful sinking feeling in my chest constantly. Has anyone else experienced symptoms (or the other side) of this delusion? I know I should elaborate more but my mind is going in a million directions right now… I just feel so much more alone now that he sees me as a stranger. Of course if I say I need to leave he snaps out of it and cries and begs because he needs me. I need love and friendship to… I can stay hidden away in the middle of nowhere forever. We haven’t been on a date in over a year. When w go to restaurants he sits for a few minutes then leaves me to finish my food alone and cry over my plate. He got me all excited about a bluegrass festival nearby today and when I said yes that does sound like fun I’d like to go he said ok I’ll buy you your ticket and get directions… For me to go alone. I don’t have a car of my own and don’t know my way around here. He knows how bad my anxiety about driving and being alone in big crowds is. And his thoughtlessness breaks my heart and spirit. I know he can’t help it… I just don’t know what I do. Don’t I deserve love and affection and to be trusted? Don’t I deserve to take care of myself too? I don’t sleep I hardly eat and when I try to he eats 2/3s of whatever I had… I am grateful he hasn’t lost his appetite because I know that was a past issue… But the way he looks at me. Oh, those eyes.

He’s getting frustrated because his little imposter is paying attention to the internet and not doting on him after he ignored me for hours. Thank you for letting me vent, internet. Thank you for your time and love, friends.


#2

Hi,

This is a pretty common delusion in schizophrenia. Is your boyfriend getting treatment. It sounds like he needs some better treatment if he is. Here are some sources of help:

Early Psychosis Treatment center information in these two links
http://psychosisprevention.org/get-involved/education-center/finding-treatment/
http://www.raiseetp.org/sites/
http://www.schizophrenia.com/earlypsychosis.htm

Psychiatric Treatment Centers affiliated with Medical Schools in the USA
http://www.schizophrenia.com/psychcenters.htm

This link may help you find a psychiatrist in your area
http://psychiatrists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php

Here is more examples and information about Capgras:


#3

I’ve experienced this dilusion before over my mom. It went away for me and everything’s fine now. But while I was going through it now looking back it upsets me that my mom was so emotional about it, to me it wasn’t a big deal. So… I’d say just don’t worry too much about him. Hell go back to normal eventually, and don’t waste your time trying to prove that you are who you say you are hell never believe it until the psychosis has passed. So I guess from your end I’d prolly just say to just treat him as if he’s on a mental vacation from reality, and I believe the more love you give him the faster hell calm down. And mine lasted about a month for reference.


#4

If he’s not getting treatment, then he definitely needs it. His behavior seems very erratic and threatening. I would be more cautious with him. He’s not quite himself now so try not to take everything he says to heart.


#5

Your post really got to me. I rarely am able to cry anymore, but I have tears streaming as I write this. First, thank you so much for sharing this. I can’t imagine how difficult your situation must be.

My wife of eight years has stuck by my side through all the crap and hurt I know I’ve exposed her to. I’d like to say that I’ve always told or showed her how appreciative I am for the sacrifices she has made for me, but the bleak reality is that many numerous times over the years I’ve taken her for granted and even “checked out” of our relationship. The worst times of my life I didn’t even really realize were that bad. Even admitting it here on an anonymous forum is very difficult for me. She has always deserved more than I offered (or could offer). What I hope you’re able to realize is how strong you must be to face this every day.

I’ve never thought (that I know of) that through some form of trickery she switched places with the woman I fell in love with. There was a particularly rough point though that I often thought she was my mother. I’d call her mom. I was sure she was my mom. And I can’t even imagine how that made her feel. I haven’t talked to her about it. Even though I’m much more lucid in general these days, and can look back and sort of recall broken pieces, I’m not man enough to express how much it hurts me that this happened. It wasn’t my fault, I didn’t choose for it to happen. But I caused a lot of very painful days to the one person I cared most about. And that’s a hard feeling to reconcile with myself.

What I do know is that without her, I wouldn’t be. The love and determination and patience that you describe is an incredible trait you possess. But yes, you deserve to be able to focus on yourself. You should be able to be your own top priority. When a person does nothing but puts out energy, and never takes any in for themselves, depletion results. If you’re not caring for yourself as you deserve, caring for the one you love becomes an enormous challenge.

I’m having a real tough time putting my thoughts and emotions into cohesive words here. I really feel for you and for the difficult situation you’re in. It’s complicated because I can’t rightfully make any statement about how he might feel, nor can I about you. But I can say that the partners, spouses, significant others, etc who do everything in their power to help the one they loved, even when it seems to return nothing but hardship or despair, are heroes to me. I know that loving someone with severe mental illness can be difficult at best. I’m sorry I can’t offer the advice you asked for, but it takes a very special kind of person to deal with the situation you describe. Even though we don’t know each other I’m so thankful to you for your tremendous effort and patience.

The world is a better place because of you. I hope you’re able to find support for yourself. I sincerely hope that things improve for the both of you.


#6

My first instinct is to caution you to keep yourself save. If he doesn’t believe that you are really you then there is nothing to stop him from hurting you or listening to the voices to hurt you, the dogs or anything else. The gas, the knife, the chainsaw… I’m sorry but none of this sounds save at all. It sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

He is being controlled by his symptoms. I totally understand wanting to be there for him however he needs help and before things go to far and you are in danger. I’m sorry if I’m sounding harsh however I talk to so many parents over the internet who’s children have assaulted them while in psychosis. Maybe I’m wrong but I’m guessing that you can see it in his eyes, what psychosis is making him capable of doing. I have seen it in my own son’s eyes and it is not pretty.

Please stay save…


#7

I agree with Barbie.
My son assaulted me one time. You can say its not their fault-but you still need to take care of your own life first. Thats a universal law.
*


#8

i think more schizophrenics should get an mri of the brain. also i think schizophrenia is sometimes alzheimers disease just too early for people to realize it but thats depressing to think about so i try to ignore it


#9

To be honest with u, according to my personal experience with Copgras delusion it comes and goes, and it wont resolve easily, maybe it wont resolve ever…if he feels nothing towards u then u might start thinking about leaving him…I’m sorry to say that but why should u stay with someone that have no feelings for u, doesn’t respect nor trust u, and consider u as an imposter who took his gf away…it will get worse dear…if he didn’t deal with that delusion as a delusion then it will get worse…I have Copgras since I was a child and I was able to deal with it but it gets worse sometimes and the idea that it might be a delusion might not be convincing anymore to him…he truly believes that u are an imposter, I heard about people hurting the so called “imposters” …not all copgras delusioners of course but few…be careful and take care :slight_smile: