Have you tried getting your brother to wear earphones?
And yah cleaning sucks 
Itās been a bit of an off week for me I think. Physically not a lot going on but mentally I feel like I have been through a lot. I missed getting my daughter up for school yesterday morning and this morning due to other things going on.
My downstairs neighbor has decided to be more of a pain then usual with her music vibrating my floor. An hour or so Monday & Tuesday morning and afternoon. Wednesday morning called the police but they didnāt attend before she turned it off. Same on Thursday. Today they managed to attend and hear it for themselves. Based on the yelling and slamming of doors Iām guessing they charged her with breaking the noise by-law. Superintendent is doing nothing about it. So while Iām happy I have documented proof Iām not happy that it has to be like this. And honestly I would have to say Iām a little afraid of her myself 
So back to monitoring our laundry for the next little bit as Iām sure she was messing with it after the last time I called the police.
Actually went to see someone to get hypnotized the other day. Didnāt get the results I was looking for. A little hard when my own memories are contradicting what Iām being told. Up side of this is that it helps me to understand what it can be like for my son as there is no resolution or closer to these types of situations therefor hard to move on.
I called my sonās main nurse yesterday as I have been getting concerned over the fact that he may be slipping a little bit. Needles to say he was not happy about that and this caused some of the old attitude to come back. Itās none of my business. I canāt do that. He wonāt talk to them ever again. Not letting me speak and then accusing me of doing that to him as I donāt have the right to speak since itās not my life. A lot of red flags as he has been drinking and/or smoking pot I think almost every day for the past 12 days with his friend. Not using his Gabapentin as prescribed as he is trying to use it as a prn and one time smoking pot after taking it. Back to trying to get Valium prescribed for anxiety symptoms which go up in direct relation to his drug/alcohol use. So of course he doesnāt want me talking to his team and telling them my point of view on this. Trying not to overreact to some of little things like wanting the living room curtains closed one night as it felt like people could be watching, hitting his bed more, sleeping on the couch more and now wanting to read the bible. Normal reactions or an indication of what may be coming? I wish I knew.
His nurse did come to see us yesterday. Some good and some bad moments when I got asked to leave the room. I refused since itās my home too. We discussed ADHD and will discuss this further with his new pdoc on Tuesday. A lot of what he is calling anxiety and has had since he was a child may in fact be hyperactivity. A lot of excess energy that he doesnāt know what to do with and makes his hands sweat. Also seems to be causing a lot of over thinking. So we tried to discuss with him that using a prn to mask these symptoms instead of getting to the root cause of them is probably not the right approach. Also considering his past tendency to abuse prns that chances of him getting one now are not likely. Unfortunately he is continuing to refuse going on any of the outings with the PACT team to meet other people even though he states that he does not have social anxiety with which I would agree since he likes to go out in public with me and my husband and never shows any anxiety symptoms while out with us. I can even leave him alone in a store with no worries and he can go to a store on his own with no worries so social anxiety does not appear to be a concern.
So in a lot of ways I feel like Iām just at the top of a roller-coaster and I donāt know if I should be prepared for the down swing or if itās going to even out. Or perhaps Iām just overreacting 
My son has ADHD. His pdoc sent him to a specialist before she would prescribe Vyvanse or Ritalin. Specialist tested him and it was determined he does have ADHD. He was on Vyvanse for a couple of years but about six months ago, he suddenly decided he wanted to try Ritalin instead. He has always said both of these meds help him a lot. Although he had the tendency to abuse them, and probably still does. He has recently taken over his own meds and there have been a couple of months he has come up short on them, so heās either taking more than prescribed or selling them, idk. These are highly controlled substances and pdoc will only prescribe one month at a time. Hopefully your son will be tested and find some relief.
I feel for you being in such close quarters with your son. Iām so thankful we have a basement apartment. It used to be our daughters. When she bought her own place and moved out, son moved in down there. A couple of months ago son wanted to move back upstairs, said he was having bad feelings down there, so that was fine. But it sure was tense having him up here so close. Then things got really tense after he stole my ring. Heās been spending a lot of time with I-donāt-know-who in downtown Atlanta, which is fine with us. He has never stayed away from home until now. Things are so less stressful with him gone. I still worry about him, but at least I donāt have to worry about things around the house. He does come home about every 3 days or so, washes clothes, eats a lot of food, stays a night or two then back to Atlanta. I feel like Iām in a really tough spot since the ring thing - itās hard to be sweet and nice to him like I usually am, when I so resent what he did.
I feel like we are on a roller coaster too. Things can be going so well one week and then everything falls apart the next. And youāre not overreacting. Unfortunately. I feel all of us parents have to be prepared for the next downswing.
I can understand how hard it would be to not let your resentment dictate being nice. Thatās tough and has to be hard to let go of. A good reminder to me why I still take my purse to my bedroom at night. Addiction can not be trusted.
Iām glad that he did return home so that you know that he is safe or at least as safe as he can be. Having some breathing room must be less stressful. A chance to let your guard down for a bit.
I guess I should start doing some research into ADHD medications. His nurse said something about Ritalin would probably not be a good choice given his history of abusing benzoās. Iām more concerned with trying to figure out exactly what is causing what. If itās hyperactivity instead of anxiety than I think we need to look at that. I know the PACT team can actually give him his medās daily so that may have to become an option if ADHD medications can be abused like that. At the very least he may have to learn some different coping strategies.
I usually compare these little ups and downs to the smaller kids roller coaster at Canadaās Wonderland that is called the Ghoster Coaster. Even that one is scary enough 
My sonās pdoc and nurse where here yesterday. Discussed all the reg flags I have been noticing. Things that on their own donāt seem important but when they are starting to happen again combined with alcohol and marijuana then they are an indication of where we may have been heading. Due to past history of abusing benzoās then they will not be getting prescribed. A big relief for me. If they do get prescribed I asked that the PACT team oversee the administration of them as I canāt. We discussed an ADHD diagnoses. He does have a lot of the components but he doesnāt want to take medications for it. Which is fine. We have let it up to him to research it if he wants and decide if he wants to take medications for it.
No legal recourse available to me regarding the alcohol being given him. Marijuana only if I want to report my neighbor. Hopefully the conversation and letter I gave to the father will help as I donāt want to go that route. Up side is I havenāt noticed him coming back from there drunk or high for the last couple of days.
Not sure if a relapse was coming or not but if it was I think I have cut if off at least for now. Even with all of this going on he makes me proud as he handled my interventions very well. I am thankful that even if what I am doing pisses him off he does understand that I am doing it because I love him and I am concerned. So he seems to be back on track today. With little prompting from me his second load of bedding is in the laundry and he is in the shower. I think he got a good night sleep last night and was up at a reasonable time this morning. So I can breathe a little easier today 
My daughter finally got in to see a family doctor and I told her to make sure that she told him about certain things so that he could have a clear picture over what my concerns where for her. She got a prescription for I think Propranolol? to take as needed. She tried it yesterday and had good results. Was able to speak up during class without having anxiety over it. I sent her another care package of snack foods etc plus I did her up what is called a care box. A box with a journal, stickers, compliment jar and stuffed heart in it so that when she is feeling depressed she can pull it out and journal and know that she is loved. She really liked it.
Missed doing my exercises for a couple of days but back on track today. Quiet from my downstairs neighbor. Just have to get my insomnia back under control as itās been acting up so back to using my sleeping pills more then I would like. But overall Iām feeling good.
I love it when you get to post that things are going better the yesterday.
Good report ā sounds like he is doing better ā hope it is continuing:$
Today my son was in a better frame of mind. He was even talking to his Dad out in the driveway while washing his Jeep. When his Dad came upstairs he told me that Son had even hugged him and they told each other they loved each other. Wow, this is HUGE. I donāt know what prompted this but I sure am happy about it:$
It is a good day when we can exhale and breathe a little easier.
Good to hear this. Iām glad that your son had a good day. Hugs and I love youās are certainly not taken for granted anymore when dealing with this. Very good news.
My son did more laundry today without any prompting from me!
Tried to show me how to properly enjoy a cigaretteā¦ Hun, Iāve been smoking longer then you have been aliveā¦ Still I did what he asked. I figure if I want him to listen to me then I need to listen to him too
Trying to decide if Iām being a pushover or not. His laptop is pretty much toast. He canāt play games on it and wants a new one. I said we could talk about it if we could talk about him going to school. One of his workers was here today and they are going to make arrangements to take him to the YMCA as the have a GED program. He also has a YMCA pass for the pool etc so he could do his school work then work out afterwards. I think the program is 3 days a week. Morning or afternoon. So I may buy the laptop but he has to pay me back $50 a month and until it is paid back then it is my laptop so if he doesnāt attend or follow through on school then I get to take it back. I told him that I have complete faith in his ability to do this. Now that his racing thoughts are under control he should be able to handle not getting distracted like he used to in school. Of course he is all in and agreeable since he is just looking at getting the laptop. But the thought of him finally building a life for himself has me excited too 
I donāt think your being a push over with the laptop. I think this is a good incentive tool. Iām glad his concentration is coming back. That is a huge step. Congratulations.
My caregiver plans for today is taking my kid sis to the Arboretum with me today. We always get volunteers in for some of the spring cleaning. Sheās off work. Yesterday was her last long day at the old pool. She has a last class to teach Saturday. But after that itās new pool time.
So she said she would come with me clean up the visitor center and help scrape moss and wash windows, and do other things. I know sheās trying to get a plan to get better and I know sheās coming clean about how hurt sheās been. But Iām still not cool with leaving her home alone. I do trust her, but I donāt really trust any younger brothers who might want to come to the door when sheās there alone.
Well my son is happy. Laptop came in today. Alianware 17" gaming laptopā¦ Heās excited about it
Peace and quiet for me as yesterday was a little tough with his excitement and having to wait for it.
Told him the money tree is now closed. Mine is barrenā¦ actually itās minus a fee branches at this point as Iām about $15000 in debt.
Doing a load of laundry and putting off doing taxes.
Well that will certainly keep him happily busy for many days to come!