Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Carrying on whole conversations with nobody

I haven’t been on this site for awhile. I have been so busy with probate papers after my dad’s passing. My fiance’s has been living with me for over a year and he wont contribute to any of the bill’s. He smokes a lot of cigarettes and they used to be ultra lights now cigarette tobacco in a pipe constantly. He sits in my basement and smokes, listens to the same songs over and over. He talks to no one and pauses then answers. He refers to me in the 3rd person as “she”. This is freaking me out. He waves his hands around and turns his head when he’s talking to the nobody. He doesn’t sleep much. He even talks in his sleep. He sleeps in a separate room and I lock my door.
Earlier today I went to open the garage door and I unlocked it and it still didn’t open. When I looked closer he had drilled a hole in the door and into the frame of the door…he had put a nail or screw so that no one could come in. When I saw that I took it out and filled it with wood glue . I lived here with my 87 year old father who couldn’t hear or see very good and didn’t have a problem. The paranoia is getting very bad again. He still is not seeing any doctors or on any meds. Oh…and his so called family calls once maybe every 6 months maybe.
Tonight I asked him to turn off the light downstairs and his reply was a bunch of filthy name calling and physical threats. He wants me to lose the home that I have lived in most of my life . He used to control me to a certain extent when he had his apartment and he cant do it here.

Almost forgot to mention that the voices are Male and female. Different ethnic groups etc. He was involuntary in the hospital fo3lr 3 weeks last year and refused all treatment. Acted like he was on vacation. He is an excellent manipulator and he even manipulated his doctors on the past who believed he was taking his meds when he wasn’t. Simple blood work tests would have confirmed this yet they didn’t enforce it . To keep prescribing meds with no labs. Hmmm. So some of this could have been a little more buffered sort of speak.

Not to be forward… have you checked for drugs… but as you say, blood work would have confirmed…
And then my thoughts run to (as they often do these days) that isolation might be a trigger in and of itself?

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No your not being forward, no drugs, he wont even take tylenol. He does tobacco in a pipe constantly. I can definitely see it is making him worse. His eyes are black and they look dead.
He was listening to a religious station from his phone and as soon as he was finished…the nasties came out. Every other word is F. And in different voices. I am trying to ignore because if he sees that it upsets me he will so it more. I have to leave to go to the store or just go for a ride to clear my head and calm down!

Hi Laz I just went back and re-read this and I feel I want to say that this sounds extremely dangerous for you. And if I’m catching it correctly, your loved one was treated successfully with meds once but refuses to take anything now? Is that right? So it’s fair to say he has no insight (doesn’t know that he has an illness)? I’m so sorry for your loss of your father first, and I’m so sorry that this is happening to you on top of it. Honestly it sounds scary. But I really want to emphasize I think it’s great and very important that you’ve set boundaries with him and have that conviction in yourself. Keep strong and though I’ve no real advice here, my alarms are going off as to how dangerous the situation could become for you, and I really hope you can work out a way to get him help.

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Yes, you are right. He used to be somewhat med compliant, but always talked about getting off of it. The internet research that he did along with his doctor retiring then being bounced around from one therapist to another didnt help the situation. I later found out that one of his therapist was a relationship counselor. He manulipiated them to think we were having relationship issues. He thinks he can do whatever he wants here and gets very upset if I say anything. As I mentioned earlier he doesn’t contribute to any of the household expenses, he is saving money for his land! He doesn’t know anything about purchasing land. I told him if he wants to go nobody is stopping him. Then he asks me to help him pay for his land. He pays $300 for a storage room that has just some clothes and tools. He used to work on cars and 6 months ago he put a new stereo in his car and now the car doesnt even work. He spends the day talking to himself and smoking and he is back to eating only food that is sealed up or in a can. Ugh

This disease sucks.
I’m so sorry.
Reminds me a bit of my SZ partner who was paying $200 a month for a unit to store a broken a/c and his ‘scrapping’ which, hundreds, I’m talking HUNDREDS of his man-hours later over a year, didn’t add up to $200 a month.
Eating hermetically sealed food (I say in jest) isn’t one if his paranoid things thank god but he has super bizarre rationalizations when it comes to food and taking vitamins. Thinks of himself as a health buff and refuses to eat ketchup, not because he doesn’t like it but because ‘there’s too much sugar in it’. Mind you, he eats one of those five pound bags of gummie bears every two days and puts back milk duds and Smartfood popcorn for dinner. I try and push well balanced meals with omegas and b vitamins but he flat out refuses to take the vitamins I give him telling me some brands don’t absorb (which is true) but he has no clue which brand does work and thus assumes until somebody else tells him it’s good he won’t touch it from me.
You said his medical professionals have pretty much failed him. Is there a way to get him to an entirely different ER for assessment? Not that this virus pandemic is helping anything…

Yes very similar, collects all kinds of junk and it just sits just like his car. He doesn’t do much of anything except talk…constantly.
He eats bags of chips candy and canned goods.
He thinks that the only thing wrong with him is that I’m poisoning and trying to kill him so I asked him to leave. Nope. I’m so physically and emotionally drained. He wont help with anything. He wont even go outside
He hasn’t brushed his teeth. He cuts his own hair and has for years. He wont shower but takes a bath instead once every 7 - 10+ days. I’m so tired of being the blame for everything He is never ever at fault and hes downright nasty.
I sleep in my own room and I lock the door. He naps on and off all day and up all night long. I dont even talk to him when I get up because it is nasty first thing or it starts a few minutes after
I dont know how much more I can stand. I leave every day for a few hours and when I leave hes talking and hes still talking when I get home . I eat by myself, do all of the work, pay all of the Bill’s and sleep by myself so what is the difference because I just don’t know anymore :broken_heart:

This all sounds so very familiar and I’m so, so very sorry you have to deal with it. I wish I could say it gets better. Not usually though without some form of intervention… After about 5 years of me having moved into my SZ partner’s house to clean and motivate and try and create a semblance of normalcy, he got to a point where he was at least showering daily and practicing better oral hygiene. He still hoards and would live in chaos and his own refuse, quite literally, but I have relegated that behavior to only one room in the house. He still has to be asked to pick up after himself, be reminded that trash and used napkins and empty ice cream containers and the like actually go in the garbage can. He’s gotten better but still has episodes that are violent and aggressive and usually based on some delusion he’s having. Thinks things are happening that just aren’t at all happening in reality. Nothing is ever his fault or anything he needs to take responsibility for, everything is absolutely my fault (even the things that aren’t real). It’s a crazy disease and it’s painful and as family or caregiver it’s important we manage our boundaries for our own health, mental and otherwise. Keep trying to take as good care of yourself as you can. My thoughts are with you.

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