(complex case) I strongly believe my father is schizophrenic

[RYap]

Hi all. This is quite lengthy so bear with me.

I truly believe my father is schizophrenic. I remember all of this started almost 10 years ago when he and my mother would fight all the time, because he believed people were watching and hearing us, through the phone, and hidden cameras around the house. He was very delusional, and would not let us use the phone. He refused to work, he refused to go shopping. At that time, he agreed to go to the doctors, and his doctor told him he had depression, and if he were to take medication for 6 months, he would return back to normal. He refused, and we thought it was best if he went back to his country for a year and kind of regroup his thoughts a little and be back with his relatives who live there. Mind you, my dad was about 42 years old.

It worked, he came back and was back into his normal self, he got a job again, and all of this delusional stuff he was on about had been non-existant. Until 2016 came along.

Almost 4-5 years later, he started to laugh, sometimes uncontrollably, for minutes, at times even hours. We would ask him what’s up, he said he just remembered something funny, and we just brushed it off. Progressively, his laughter became quite abnormal, and he started to incorporate gestures such as nodding in agreement or disagreement, pretending to be lifting something heavy, pretend he’s in a fight etc, as well as making these sound effects, sound effects you’d use in a conversation like “mmm, ha!, ahhh, ohh…” mind you he’s not doing this with us, but by himself. He did that thinking we weren’t near him or couldn’t hear him but me, my mother, and my brother can. We figured he’s associating with imaginary people. He would do this maybe a couple of times during the day, sometimes for hours, but then he would stop, and become completely normal. We asked if another visit to the doctors is due, and he was agitated and extremely ticked off we could even propose such a thing.

His mood became reprehensible. He went back to what he was years before, agitated, annoyed, and although he does conversate with my mother when they both sit together in the living room during their days off, me and my brother have little to no father and son relationship like we had before, we often found yelling at each other, and made these such unreasonable rules and curfews with no bases or reasoning behind them, but that we had to obey them, otherwise he would pack his stuff and leave our family, which he has said so many times but never actually leaves.

Late 2017 till as I’m typing this, his condition has gotten worse. Now he’s… actually talking, he’s conversating with people, imaginary people, he’s pretending like he’s with them, he lives with them (living with us obviously), and rambles and rambles, laughs with these imaginary people, he talks to them at a level which he never talks with us, it’s almost as if he’s disregarded us essentially. When we try to talk to him, he MUST finish his conversation with these imaginary people before he turns his attention to us, and that obviously infuriates us. Whenever me or my brother screw up, he says there are people that are literally controlling us, he refers to these people that are supposedly controlling us as “magicians”, “homosexuals”, “perverts”, “sex offenders and pedophiles”, and believes that one day we will see what he sees.

In public, he does not act like the above entirely, although he will talk to himself, no sound comes from him, just his lips moving, but people who pay attention just enough to that nuance will notice as well as the sound effects that he kind of presents although not definitive you can definitely tell there’s something a little off about him.

This has bothered in so many ways possible, you can only imagine. There are days, and we thank the lord, where he does not say a single thing, not even a word, to his imaginary friends, and acts completely normal, not even laughing or gesturing, and we don’t understand why that is and why he chooses certain days, perhaps when he’s exhausted, and on these days where he is normal he is a fun person to talk to, and you would almost think there’s nothing wrong with him.

To be honest, I’m leaving even more stuff out, but im ending on that note. We’ve insisted so many times, we’ve pleaded to him that he should visit the doctors, but says he’s fine, he knows what he’s doing, and thinks WE should be evaluated as he believes that we are mental, obviously that’s not the case.

If you’ve managed to read this all, thank you, I would love answers. This has to be some advanced form of schizophrenia.

Edit: I must add that my father used to be extroverted, but my mother told ever since he started abusing alcohol, around the time of my birth, is when he progressively started becoming introverted. That also may have had to do with both of them being immigrants and coming to a new country and all, didn’t know a single word of English, but did become friends with people from our nationality, unfortunately they were all bad influences. He stopped drinking alcohol and cigarettes once we moved from Winnipeg to Vancouver, and as soon as he stopped, is when those delusions came about, which kick started this whole thing. He has no friends, not a single one, as he decided to cut most of them off. His closest brother that lives in the States and 5 other siblings are scattered around the globe, and they are all pretty tone deaf and think he’s perfectly fine when we’ve explained to them his symptoms.

Anywho.

[Laz]

My fiance who has schizophrenia and has been off of his meds started talking to the voices once in a while and it became more and more frequent even in front of me. Recently, when he opens the door it sounds like he was talking on the phone. No. Also when I call him or he calls me, he is talking and I say hello…I have to wait until he is finished. Things really went out of control a few days ago and he is now hospitalized. I hope your situation gets better and that he can be evaluated to find out what might be wrong.

[RYap]

Wow, very unfortunate to hear about that. I hope your fiance is doing much better.

It’s hard because people with any mental diseases will almost always tell you that they are fine, and it’s not like you can just force them to go get themselves checked. Inevitably, there could be a day where all of this boils down to a huge mental breakdown in which my father could be in the same situation as your fiance.

You want to feel and understand what your loved one is going through, but at the same time, it’s tormenting and infuriating. My father currently isn’t working, because he’s had trouble maintaining his jobs, he does not like being told what to do, prefers his own workspace, and takes criticism, even the slightest, very seriously. Does not matter who you are, you could be his boss, if you raise your voice, even slightly, you’ve crossed the line, and you are now an ‘enemy’ of his so to speak. He’s gotten into fights at workplace in the past (he beat a man with a metal shovel, luckily nothing happened to him), he left a job simply because he was scolded at for coming to a meeting late.

It’s very weird too, because when he gets a conversation going with an actual human whether that be in the bus or train, or hell even work colleagues he’s pretty easy-going and again he’s ridiculously fun to be around with, but I feel like that’s one of the only times I get to see that kind of the father I used to know. He can be very deceitful, masking his rather psychotic side of his when talking to strangers. Once he steps a foot into the house, he starts talking to his imaginary friends and off he goes, communicating, pretending he’s eating dinner with them when he’s actually eating dinner with us :/. It hurts, because what can you do? Kicking him to the curb will NOT accomplish anything, he didn’t choose to be this way, and it won’t help his condition at all. No matter what he may say to my mom (he says a lot of brutal stuff, including bringing up her dead mother in a nasty way), or me and brother, we still care for him and try to contain our anger and frustration. It’s a battle. Though that being said, if there does come a day where this becomes unbearable to the point where it’s ruining our lives more than it is already, we might need to just let it all go.

Sometimes we’d rather just not be at home.

[CAAR2016]

RYap
I am so sorry that your and your brother going through this. your father is obviously Sick.
Would you be able to CALl NAMI and get advise or reach out to the Mental health Clinic in your City and explain what is going on and what do they recommend it should be done?

I am not sure if anyone can force him into treatment if he not dangerous to you, your brother and your mother and not dangerous to himself.

Start with NAMI First and hopefully you will get a clue what next to do.

I am praying for all of you during this XMAS season.

[TRO]

My husband began talking to voices a few years ago. I would hear him talking as if he were on the telephone with someone when he was alone in a room. I later learned he was talking to the walls, then later he swore that there was a chip in him that let him hear the voices while also reading his mind. His voices were not friendly, however. They taunted, teased, harassed and made fun of him. They convinced him he could not drive, that he should not take his medicines, and even tried to make him think that he was being watched by authorities for some crime that he never in a million years would have committed (because he was always very law abiding). He would bet his life on the voices being real. They are real to him. The voices took him away from us. He did not hear us when we would talk with him and we would have to say his name a few times to “bring him back” if that makes sense. Everyone has different tendencies, but your father’s condition sounds somewhat similar to my husband’s.

My husband can act completely fine in public. I don’t get it. He even fooled a professional at one point in the past. We were sent home because she felt he had no problem. Go figure.

I only recently convinced him to get help. I did so without denying that the voices were real. I told him that perhaps a professional could help quiet down the voices. My husband is currently hospitalized…with a diagnosis of schizophrenia.

Good luck to you. Start thinking of a plan to convince your father to get some help. Without it, my experience has been that there is a good chance of his delusions escalating. For now, just be thankful that his voices are not necessarily mean and harassing.